Bedsharing/Cosleeping Question

Allie30 · November 2010

We intended to "room in" our LO for the first few months but to keep her in a separate bassinet. Yeah, well that lasted approximately one day after getting her home from the hospital, and I first discovered the joys of falling asleep while breastfeeding. In general, we discovered we all sleep much better when she's in bed with me, and one of my new favorite things in the world is to have a sleeping baby on my chest.

Except... how in the world do you co sleep with a newborn ON THEIR BACKS? She can't lie on her back on top of me, and I feel so uncomfortable/nervous having her in bed when she's NOT on top of me or my husband.

My pedi just gave me a lecture (during a conversation about skin-to-skin contact) about how it's okay to let her nap on my chest tummy down, but NOT if I'm also asleep. Yeah, well, if I'm horizontal these days, guess what? I'm going to be asleep. And he says if I'm asleep, she is to be on her back.

More than half the time this baby's unconscious, she's either upright against me in her wrap, tummy down on her chest, or sideways in my arms. And at least in most of those cases, I am awake and can tell if she's breathing.

Other than erecting some kind of barrier in bed, how do you bedshare with such a tiny child? Does anyone do the chest sleeping thing in defiance of "back to sleep?"

anabell0920 · November 2010

Will she not sleep on her back? Dylan was always a side/back sleeper, I would lay on my side and put my arm under his head so his face was close to mine. I would curl my legs up around him and that way we were snuggled in and I knew I wasn't moving around. Or I would lay him flat on his back and curl around him with my arm under the pillow but his head further down away from it. My mom also showed me if your bed is big enough to lay them at an angle with their head away from you, feet toward you so that if you were to roll it wouldn't be on their face. I didn't feel comfortable like that and I have never once rolled on him either.

Allie30 · November 2010

She rolls on her side if I put her alone in her crib, but that's not the problem. My main issue is that I don't feel confy having her *on* the bed, period. we have a feather-top bed -- it's really soft and easy to "sink" into. I also have a lot of pillows and a down comforter. I'm a "burrower" -- I like to sleep cover from nose to toes in giant down comforters, even in summer. (We live in a drafty old house.) In all honestly, I'm surprised I haven't managed to suffocate *myself* in this bed. We'd have to completely overhaul our sleeping arrangements before I'd feel comfy having her in this bed. that's why I feel better if she's on my chest and I just have my comforter up to my hips. My chest is a much firmer surface than the mattress.

StarlitRN · November 2010

We started bedsharing when DD was 3wks old. How I do it is DD either on her back or side facing me with her head at breast level. I'm on my side facing her with my bottom arm up under my pillow (keeps it from getting close to her) and my other arm draped over her midsection (holding her close). When she was really little I would curl my legs up around her in the shape of a C........little bit wasn't going anywhere! :0)

We took off all the heavy bedcovers (we just dress more warmly for bed!) and I keep the sheet tucked at waist level. Even though I sleep really good I am always 100% aware of DD so rolling has never been an issue.

We now have her crib sidecarred to our bed (we only have a queen and it was feeling a little tight!) so I can easily feed/cuddle but also move her away when I really need some sleep or what some cuddle time with DH!

StarlitRN · November 2010

Allie30:
She rolls on her side if I put her alone in her crib, but that's not the problem. My main issue is that I don't feel confy having her *on* the bed, period. we have a feather-top bed -- it's really soft and easy to "sink" into. I also have a lot of pillows and a down comforter. I'm a "burrower" -- I like to sleep cover from nose to toes in giant down comforters, even in summer. (We live in a drafty old house.) In all honestly, I'm surprised I haven't managed to suffocate *myself* in this bed. We'd have to completely overhaul our sleeping arrangements before I'd feel comfy having her in this bed. that's why I feel better if she's on my chest and I just have my comforter up to my hips. My chest is a much firmer surface than the mattress.

I would really recommend doing the sidecarred crib! Sleeping on your chest isn't going to really work in another month or so when LO gets bigger (and more mobile!). The added plus is that LO gets used to their crib so when the time comes to transition out of your room it will be much easier!

notreallyirish · November 2010

I would let DS sleep on my chest occasionally when he was tiny, but the logistics of nursing made it so we were usually on our sides. We would both fall asleep while sidelying nursing. I would stay on my side and DS would either stay on his side or kind of roll back onto his back. I would sometimes try to roll him onto his back, but eventually I just let him stay on his side if he was content. I was very nervous for a while that I might roll onto him, but I never came remotely close. I am always very aware of where he is, his breathing and movements. I even noticed one night that his breathing was infiltrating my dreams!

winomom22 · November 2010

From day one I slept with both girls right next to me on their backs. I lay on my side with the arm on the bed straight out and have her lay below my arm. I use a pillow behind me to lean on and support me. DD is able to turn her head and nurse at will.

BlondeBeachBride08 · November 2010

StarlitRN:
We started bedsharing when DD was 3wks old. How I do it is DD either on her back or side facing me with her head at breast level. I'm on my side facing her with my bottom arm up under my pillow (keeps it from getting close to her) and my other arm draped over her midsection (holding her close). When she was really little I would curl my legs up around her in the shape of a C........little bit wasn't going anywhere! :0)

We took off all the heavy bedcovers (we just dress more warmly for bed!) and I keep the sheet tucked at waist level. Even though I sleep really good I am always 100% aware of DD so rolling has never been an issue.

This exactly! Funny, Starlit, I was nodding and agreeing before I even knew it was you!

mrs.baum · November 2010

Side lying nursing will really help. When DS was a newborn we used a Snuggle Nest in between DH and myself.

KittyKatMom · November 2010

I started bed sharing with DS when he was around a month old and he slept on his side next to me, not his back. He slept much better that way and I always woke up at the slightest sound or movement that he made, so I wasn't concerned about it.

BelhurstBride · November 2010

In the early months we most often slept the way annabell and starlit described. If bedsharing is something you definitely want to do I recommend considering making some changes to your bed to make it safer for your LO.

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