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If you.....

smalltownmamasmalltownmama
in Secondary IF

Could give any advice to someone struggling with secondary infertility, what would it be?

I would tell them not to get checked out as soon as possible and not to assume that there are no issues just because they conceived in the past. I'm sooo glad we got DH checked after only 6 cycles of TTC instead of dragging it out. If we had followed the "one-year rule", we would just now be getting him tested. As it is he's already  6 1/2  weeks post-op varicocele repair and has been on a vitamin regimine for 4 months. Although these things may or may not improve our situation, at least we have tried them and will be able to move on sooner to the next step (adoption) if they don't help.

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Re: If you.....

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    MeganJBearMeganJBear
    I would say that even though you have been blessed with a child, you still have the right to feel upset, bummed, angry, etc. about secondary infertility.  It's still a hard road to go down.
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    VanessaRae9608VanessaRae9608

    imageMeganJBear:
    I would say that even though you have been blessed with a child, you still have the right to feel upset, bummed, angry, etc. about secondary infertility.  It's still a hard road to go down.

    I needed to read this. Thank you.

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    smalltownmamasmalltownmama
    imageVanessaRae9608:

    imageMeganJBear:
    I would say that even though you have been blessed with a child, you still have the right to feel upset, bummed, angry, etc. about secondary infertility.  It's still a hard road to go down.

    I needed to read this. Thank you.

    Ditto! Even my mom (who I am very close to) who had 5 kids and KNOWS how much I want not just one but several more children always says, "Well, you should just be so thankful to have one child." And I am, probably alot more than most people I know. But why I am I supposed to be the girl who just has to be happy with one child while my all of my friends go on to have #2, #3, #4, and #5? When's the last time you heard a friend announce they were expecting baby #2 and someone reply, "What? You couldn't just be thankful to have one child?!" I mean, c'mon. It's not exactly unreasonable to want two or more children.

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    rach1015rach1015
    imagesmalltownmama:
    imageVanessaRae9608:

    imageMeganJBear:
    I would say that even though you have been blessed with a child, you still have the right to feel upset, bummed, angry, etc. about secondary infertility.  It's still a hard road to go down.

    I needed to read this. Thank you.

    Ditto! Even my mom (who I am very close to) who had 5 kids and KNOWS how much I want not just one but several more children always says, "Well, you should just be so thankful to have one child." And I am, probably alot more than most people I know. But why I am I supposed to be the girl who just has to be happy with one child while my all of my friends go on to have #2, #3, #4, and #5? When's the last time you heard a friend announce they were expecting baby #2 and someone reply, "What? You couldn't just be thankful to have one child?!" I mean, c'mon. It's not exactly unreasonable to want two or more children.

     

    Ditto all of this!  I've had several people ask when we'll be giving DD a sibling.  When I tell them we've been working on it and about our struggles, they tell me how we should be thankful for being blessed with one and everything happens for a reason.  Wanting a second child doesn't make me any less thankful for DD and I don't need a reminder from anyone to be thankful for her...it only makes us more thankful and we realize that she's a miracle for us.  The whole "everything happens for a reason" still leaves me baffled!  TTC#1 was difficult for us too, but TTC#2 is a completely different kind of "difficult" because now it's not just all about us wanting a child-it's also about us wanting a sibling for DD.  DD talks about wanting a baby brother and sister.  Hearing her talk about it and pretend her stuffed animals are her baby brother/sister is HARD.  We want more than anything for her to have a sibling to grow up with and have there once we're not around anymore.  With ttc#1, we were ready to do whatever it took to have a baby, but we can't do that now because we have to keep in mind that we have to be more financially reasonable for DD's sake.  

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    DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife

    imageMeganJBear:
    I would say that even though you have been blessed with a child, you still have the right to feel upset, bummed, angry, etc. about secondary infertility.  It's still a hard road to go down.

    I completely agree with this.

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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    lauraNkieranlauraNkieran member

    AGREED!  I may have my 10yo but she was from a previous relationship and I want a child that is OURS.  Yes I know I'm blessed to have Hallie and I'm thankful every day for her.  Moreso now going through SIF.

     

    I'd also tell someone that its ok to be pissed when everyone around you is getting pregnant.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers The blog: http://lksullivan.blogspot.com
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