Blended Families
mom2one
member
ex issue
mom2one
member
Tomorrow is DS's birthday. Ex's weekend ends today at 5 pm. There is no provision for ex to have DS on his birthday. Ex informed me at pick up Friday that he was keeping DS overnight tonight and out of school on Monday. This is unacceptable, obviously. The chance of ex being home at 5 pm and "letting" me pick up my son are slim. What would you do?
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Re: ex issue
I am surprised there is nothing in your CO about birthdays.Generally, the NCP has the child on the actual birthday EOY and on the evening before on the odd years. Is there a reason why you do not want him keeping him tonight and exchanging in the morning? ETA: I just saw he wanted to keep him out of school. I agree, that is not acceptable.
If you do not want him staying with BF then you should go to pick him up as scheduled. If no one is there, or he refuses, you call the police and file a report. The police may try to tell you that it is private matter and they will not get involved, but that is crap. You need to have a copy of the CO, showing the exact language of exchanges, and politely ask the officer to file the report because he is in violation of the CO.
There is no reason that he couldn't have celebrated your DS birthday this weekend. Keeping him out of school is unacceptable. I would be there to pick him up at 5pm and be prepared to call the police if needed.
If your ex doesn't like the CO he should go to court to get it changed.
This exactly. I don't know how many times my sister and her husband have had to do this because her SS's BM tried to show up early for pick ups or tried to keep him from them. If he's in violation, he's in violation and having the report for future reference won't hurt you one bit.
You don't exactly seem like you'd be the easiest person to coparent with. I'm going to hazard a guess that the ex has tried to work out birthdays with you in the past and been shafted. Just because your personality comes through in most of your posts, I'm going to side with your ex, even though everything you said in this post would make me take your side.
What does your CO say? Do you have joint legal custody? Can dad make decisions regarding school, if you can, why can't he?
Also it's hardly the end of the world if your DS misses one day of school to spend it doing something nice with his dad. What he going to remember in 5 years, another day at school or the day dad took him to the Science Museum?
Also I have to agree with J&A, I would bet my life savings your ex has tried to reason with you in the past but hit a brick wall. If this is a once off I don't think I would call the cops and scare the sh!t out of my kid just to stick one to dad.
I can only think of a handful of circumstances when it's in the kid's best interest to miss school.
If dad wanted to plan something special and keep the child home from school, I think it's his responsibility to discuss that ahead of time.
Otherwise it makes this look like a pretty aggressive in-your-face type of thing--and I think making a weapon out of the kid on his birthday shows incredibly bad judgment.
So why does he have unsupervised visitation?