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May 2011 Moms
O/T: This Seems Really Unfair
I was just talking to my MIL and she told me that DF's cousin ruined her car. She apparently drove through some standing water and flooded her engine.
A little background on this particular cousin: she is our age (21) and is with this douche bag that everybody hates. I have only met her a few times but shes always had bruises on her. DF tries so hard to convince her to leave him but she wont and now to make things worse she is 7 1/2 months pg.
Her mom is very wealthy (she just dropped 1 mil on a customed designed RV, seriously??) but cut his cousin off finacially because she didnt agree with her choices.
Well aparrently his cousin didnt have full coverage insurance because she couldnt afford it and now owes like $3,000 dollars on her totaled car. Her BF lost his job and doesnt have a car either so now shes walking over 2 miles each way to her waitressing job. I was just taken aback because apparently her mother doesnt think she should help her because "some people have to learn the hard way." I get the whole tough love scenario but it seems to me that since her daughter is pg she should help her. Isnt she worried that her daughter has enough cash to take care of herself and her unborn child?
Maybe Im just pregnant and emotional but it def seems not cool to me.
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Re: O/T: This Seems Really Unfair
If everyone had a handout every time they screwed up, what's the incentive to learn not to screw up?
She's a big girl. She's an adult, and about to be a parent. Unless she's thick as a brick and figured her car morphed into a boat, she should have known better about driving through standing water. (I love driving through puddles. Take it from me. It's HARD to flood an engine)
Everything PP said!!
I wish more mother's were like this girls mother!!
And in fact, I give DF's cousin a lot of credit for walking to work! Most girls would quit rather than walk.
With a mother like that, and by making that choice, she might have a chance after all!!!
I agree with all the PP's, and this is exactly how I was raised. I come from a very wealthy family...and my hand outs ended as soon as I got pregnant and my mother realized I hadn't figured out how to take care of myself. It was difficult and I was angry with her, but it worked. I still don't get any hand outs, mom jokes that I'm going to have to wait until she croaks for that, and I am perfectly capable of standing on my own two feet with DD and without Mommy, Daddy, or DH.
I'm rooting for the mom here. Why should she she support her daughter's poor decision making skills? It's the mother's money, not the daughter's.
Hopefully she learns from her mistakes and sees her mom's approach as the best thing for her later in life.
i very recently have seen the problems that always bailing out your kid can cause. if you never expect your kid to pick up the pieces themselves, they will not only expect you to continue to pick them up, but usually will put themselves into even worse situations because they know there won't be any consequences.
no way would i pay.
I would say it is fair. I have a 27 year old brother with a freakin awesome engineering degree who sits at home with free car, rent, utilities, cell, and internet... and NO JOB.
With a mom like she's got, she'll figure out how to make it on her own.