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Adoption
Birthmother gifts
DH and I have been trying to come up with a gift for our BM. Is this appropriate and do you have any ideas for gifts? We have met her if that makes any difference. TIA
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Re: Birthmother gifts
We gave her two necklaces (one for each child). The first one is a heart that she wears all the time. Won't take it off. The other is a pendant stamped with her initial and I wrote her a little poem about how she is forever stamped in our hearts.
We send little things every now and then but for placement the necklaces are what we did. She liked the symbolism. It probably depends on your BM.
After getting home we had a photo album engraved with our son's name and sent it with our first set of photos.
Totally appropriate. When we got the call, our SW suggested bringing a small gift for DD's BM. DD was already born when we were matched. We brought her and her mom each a bouquet of flowers. We weren't sure how much she might want to remind her of DD.
Red Envelope has a lot of neat pendants, necklaces, and bracelets that I always thought would be nice birthmother gifts.
Strangely enough, when we took DD home the next day, her BM gave us a gift. Utterly amazing.
We purchased a bracelet for our first birth mom. Not sure if we'll use it again but it had to adjoining hearts so it seemed appropriate.
On the fun side, and I've seen it done before, we purchased "matching" stuffed animals. We were going to give one to the birth mom and save the other for the child. We were then going to take monthly pics of baby next to the stuffed animal. It was just a different way to stay connected.... and show growth of baby.
Our adoption consultant told us to give her a gift after the baby's birth. At first I thought I would buy her a piece of jewelry, but then decided against it. We hadn't met when I purchased her gift, but I did notice on the sheet of information we were given about the situation that she enjoys barbeque and fishing with her kids. We bought her a gift certificate to Bass Pro Shop and an assortment of barbeque rubs and sauces. She loved it, and I'm so glad that we didn't go with jewelry because she is not the type to wear any kind of jewlery. Do you know anything about her interests to help with some gift ideas?
I wouldn't give her the gift until after she signs.
Our agency/caseworker suggested bringing flowers to the hospital when dd was born. We also made 2 teddy bears at Build A Bear. We kept one for dd (or ds, since we didn't know if it was a boy or girl) and we gave one to dd's birthmom at the hospital. We take pictures every month of dd with it so she can see how much dd has grown.
After TPR was signed, we waited until that Christmas (just about 2 months later) and we sent her a pretty necklace with 3 hearts -- one for her, one for us, and one for dd...they were all connected, so we liked the symbolism.
Each agency is different - have you talked to your caseworker about it? She/he might have some suggestions,t oo.
We gave her a customized necklace some time after she signed. Since our adoption is more closed and she was keeping it a secret from her 2 kids' birthdad and her family, we gave her an initial necklace with the first letter of each of kids' names handstamped on a disc and we added 3 pearls since all 3 kids were born in June (pearl is June's birthstone). That way it showcased her children but the 3 pearls represented all three kids. She adores it and I'm told he wears it everyday.
https://www.hayjac.com/site/src/ProductsInitialNecklace.asp
I LOVE THIS IDEA!!