2nd Trimester

S/O Trick or Treating and Candy (2nd Time Moms)

I have no illusions of being a "perfect" Mom; however, I'm struggling with all of these babies and toddlers who are Trick or Treating and eating candy. As 1st time Moms, we all have ideas in our heads about when and how much of certain foods we'll allow our kids to eat, but we all know what they say about the best laid plans.

So, do tell, before having your first LO, what were your thoughts and feelings about letting your kids eat candy/sugar, and how did that match up with what you actually did?

 

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Lilypie - (R7Ux)


Re: S/O Trick or Treating and Candy (2nd Time Moms)

  • when we fist took DS last year we fully knew that there was going to be very little if anything that he was goingot be able to eat. We only went down our street and that was it. There were a few houses that gave us animal crackers or pretzels and one house even gave us a small bag of chips since she saw that DS couldn't have the candy. MH and I did go through his bucket to pull oput everything that he could eat and we even tried a lollipop with him.( He didnt like it). But we figured 1 piece every few days and that was what we did.

    This time there is alot more that DS can eat. He'll be allowed 1 maybe 2 pieces at a time, but we may do that every 2-3 days.

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  • NSLNSL member
    My first didn't have candy until he was two (M&Ms) and very rarely has processed sugar.
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  • I think for me, I knew that I didn't want him to have very much, if at all.  At first, I was all, "no x, y, and z."  And after some time, I lightened up a bit.  I still don't give him juice much (I don't think he's ever had a cup of his own), he doesn't get much in the way of sweets other than at parties and such, and his first taste of candy was today.

    For us, it happens so rarely that I think it's okay.  Otherwise I think you end up with kids with some crazy eating habits.  I knew a girl in elementary school who wasn't allowed to have any sweets at home.  As soon as she was at a friends house, it was like she was possessed after the taste.  Everything in moderation is kind of my view.  I have kind of changed, but not a whole lot.

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  • you're overthinking this. Kate went ToTing tonight and ate (gasp!) three pieces of candy.  We brushed her teeth and she's gone to bed. I think she's not going down a path to hell.

    FWIW, I always thought (even before I had kids) that there was no reason to deprive kids of normal things...it's a special occasion.

    Get off your high horse.

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • Thanks for the thoughtful responses. :)
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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


  • We took Brendan last year for the first time, and he was just over 2 at the time.  I let him have 1 or 2 pieces each night.  This year, I left him have 3 pieces.  He doesn't eat a ton of sweets, and I think it's really important to not deprive your kids of treats.  I think it can create dangerous eating habits.  We just brushed his teeth extra well, he stayed up much too late because of the sugar rush, and he'll be exhausted in the morning, but so what.  It's one day!  I also let him eat chocolate for breakfast on Christmas and Easter.  I always did, and I turned out perfectly fine,
  • I took my son (17 mos) ToTing for the first time tonight.  When we were done, I split a fun size package of M&M's with him.  That's the first time he has had candy and one of only a handful of times I've let him have any chocolate.  I'm actually more picky about what he eats than I ever thought I would be before I had kids.
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  • My parents wanted to give DD a full size bag of m&m's for Halloween.  I declined because it was way too much for her.  Last year DD did not Trick or Treat, this year she did.  She went to 5 houses and then we took her Trick or Treating at the mall (Very small mall, maybe 20 stores).  She loved it.  Tonight I gave her a couple smarties and some m&m's.  I think you need to teach your child moderation.  I do not give her pop.  I think this was the first time she had candy.   In my head I set the age of 18 months as when I would permit her to have candy. 

     

  • imageerbear:

    you're overthinking this. Kate went ToTing tonight and ate (gasp!) three pieces of candy.  We brushed her teeth and she's gone to bed. I think she's not going down a path to hell.

    FWIW, I always thought (even before I had kids) that there was no reason to deprive kids of normal things...it's a special occasion.

    Get off your high horse.

    Me?? I thought it was a thoughtful question, and it wasn't meant to be judgey. I'm curious, and while I have pre-conceived notions about when and how much candy I would give my kid, I'm well aware that it may/most likely will change (which I said in my OP when I joked about the "best laid plans".) I said nothing about not giving my kid any candy at all or not recognizing special occasions.

    Defensive much??

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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


  • My SD is 2 and we took her trick-or-treating today. The rule was, she had to eat her dinner and then she could have ONE piece of candy. She didn't eat, so she didn't get the candy.

    However, I am not at all opposed to sugaring her up before we drop her off at her mom's tomorrow Big Smile 

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  • imageSarahL77:
    imageerbear:

    you're overthinking this. Kate went ToTing tonight and ate (gasp!) three pieces of candy.  We brushed her teeth and she's gone to bed. I think she's not going down a path to hell.

    FWIW, I always thought (even before I had kids) that there was no reason to deprive kids of normal things...it's a special occasion.

    Get off your high horse.

    Me?? I thought it was a thoughtful question, and it wasn't meant to be judgey. I'm curious, and while I have pre-conceived notions about when and how much candy I would give my kid, I'm well aware that it may/most likely will change (which I said in my OP when I joked about the "best laid plans".) I said nothing about not giving my kid any candy at all or not recognizing special occasions.

    Defensive much??

    " however, I'm struggling with all of these babies and toddlers who are Trick or Treating and eating candy."

    That sounds judgmental to me.  I'm not defensive at all (I'm actually pretty confident that I'm doing a pretty good job...I'm raising a pretty awesome kid!).

    I don't think when I gave my kid candy was even something I thought about pre-kid.  When she was born, it became instinctual to us how to parent her.

    Shrug. Do what you think is best.

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • It seems the consensus is "on special occasions" and "in moderation", which is what I figured. I guess I never thought about taking a toddler Trick or Treating, and before now (expecting my own), I'd never put much thought into it. I saw a ton of toddler-aged kids tonight, and since there have been several related threads tonight, I thought I'd ask.

    Thanks again. :)

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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


  • DD has been trick or treating since she was a baby. As a baby we took her to a few houses, just for fun and for pictures. Each year she does more and more houses and we let her choose when she has had enough. Tonight she made it through half of our neighborhood. When we got home she picked one thing to eat before story time and bed. I will always let her partake in special occassions like easter and halloween with baskets full of junk :P I just make sure she does it in moderation and keep her basket up high so she cant sneak any ;)  She loves to dress up and has been doing so since before she could walk or talk :P  I love seeing all the little tyke out in cute little costumes and I know the people giving candy always get a kick out of it too :) DS will be the same way.
  • It's pretty much on track with what I had planned on. DS is not allowed candy unless it is a special occasion and then only a very little bit. We let him have a piece of cake or a cupcake at family birthday parties, but other than that the only sweets he eats is fruit or a graham cracker. He does eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but I use either all fruit jelly, low sugar jelly (without artificial sweeteners), or honey.

    Edit: Oh and he had one bite of candy at his grandma's house. I probably would have let him have more, but he was obviously tired and needed to get home and into bed.

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  • imageerbear:
    imageSarahL77:
    imageerbear:

    you're overthinking this. Kate went ToTing tonight and ate (gasp!) three pieces of candy.  We brushed her teeth and she's gone to bed. I think she's not going down a path to hell.

    FWIW, I always thought (even before I had kids) that there was no reason to deprive kids of normal things...it's a special occasion.

    Get off your high horse.

    Me?? I thought it was a thoughtful question, and it wasn't meant to be judgey. I'm curious, and while I have pre-conceived notions about when and how much candy I would give my kid, I'm well aware that it may/most likely will change (which I said in my OP when I joked about the "best laid plans".) I said nothing about not giving my kid any candy at all or not recognizing special occasions.

    Defensive much??

    " however, I'm struggling with all of these babies and toddlers who are Trick or Treating and eating candy."

    That sounds judgmental to me.  I'm not defensive at all (I'm actually pretty confident that I'm doing a pretty good job...I'm raising a pretty awesome kid!).

    I don't think when I gave my kid candy was even something I thought about pre-kid.  When she was born, it became instinctual to us how to parent her.

    Shrug. Do what you think is best.

    I think we're actually on the same page. I'm sorry if my statement seemed judgemental. I am struggling with it a bit, I admit, but I also fully admit that I don't know what I don't know yet. :)

    ETA: And you're probably right that I'm overthinking it lol!

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    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


  • imagenormajeane6126:

    My SD is 2 and we took her trick-or-treating today. The rule was, she had to eat her dinner and then she could have ONE piece of candy. She didn't eat, so she didn't get the candy.

    However, I am not at all opposed to sugaring her up before we drop her off at her mom's tomorrow Big Smile 

     

    This entire post is sad.   

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  • eh - i'm one of the few that took a different approach to halloween.  in my neighborhood, they shut down the streets and all the neighbors sit in the driveway to hand out candy.  we dressed DS and he ran around with us while we gave out candy.  we didn't take him ToTing.  he was just as happy to play and see all the other kids in their costumes.  at one point, he asked for a piece of candy but got easily distracted by 2 pretty "older women" and their costumes (probably 3ish in princess costumes Stick out tongue )

    i'm all for moderation and special occassions.  DS has had pieces of cookie and cake.  but he didn't know today was special and so i could control that.  he didn't really seem to care all that much and so we figured there was no point in giving candy today or keeping candy in the house (especially since i would probably end up eating it...). 

    to the OP, just trust your instincts when the time comes.  for us, it just didn't matter to give him candy today.  nor did it make sense to take him ToTing.  we probably will start taking him around to a few houses next year.  and i don't think he's missing out in any way.  nor do i judge others who do give candy. 

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  • imageLantaria:
    imagenormajeane6126:

    My SD is 2 and we took her trick-or-treating today. The rule was, she had to eat her dinner and then she could have ONE piece of candy. She didn't eat, so she didn't get the candy.

    However, I am not at all opposed to sugaring her up before we drop her off at her mom's tomorrow Big Smile 

     

    This entire post is sad.   

    What's sad about it?  Pretty sure the "sugaring her up" comment was TIC.  

    OP, I didn't think your post was judgemental at all. 

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  • imagebootsie08:
    imageLantaria:
    imagenormajeane6126:

    My SD is 2 and we took her trick-or-treating today. The rule was, she had to eat her dinner and then she could have ONE piece of candy. She didn't eat, so she didn't get the candy.

    However, I am not at all opposed to sugaring her up before we drop her off at her mom's tomorrow Big Smile 

     

    This entire post is sad.   

    What's sad about it?  Pretty sure the "sugaring her up" comment was TIC.  

    OP, I didn't think your post was judgemental at all. 

    Ditto.  

    And considering my kid doesn't normally get any kind of dessert for finishing his dinner, I'd think that finishing her dinner for a piece of candy is pretty reasonable! 

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  • I didn't go trick or treating (and I don't know if we will...maybe when they're older) but my kids will not have candy for a long time. Maybe like once or twice but nothing ridiculous.
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  • I remember thinking before I had LO that I will never allow him to have chips.  And then it happened.  I'm a real believer in moderation. 

    We took LO tt'ing tonight with older friends just for the experience.  He thought it was totally exciting. 

    I didn't even think about the candy beforehand.  I guess I had no intention of letting him keep any of it- he doesn't need it and he isn't going to wake up tomorrow asking about it.  He had one piece of candy tonight- a sucker.

    But I do understand having certain expectations before LO comes.

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  • imagearmandos_girl:
    imagebootsie08:
    imageLantaria:
    imagenormajeane6126:

    My SD is 2 and we took her trick-or-treating today. The rule was, she had to eat her dinner and then she could have ONE piece of candy. She didn't eat, so she didn't get the candy.

    However, I am not at all opposed to sugaring her up before we drop her off at her mom's tomorrow Big Smile 

     

    This entire post is sad.   

    What's sad about it?  Pretty sure the "sugaring her up" comment was TIC.  

    OP, I didn't think your post was judgemental at all. 

    Ditto.  

    And considering my kid doesn't normally get any kind of dessert for finishing his dinner, I'd think that finishing her dinner for a piece of candy is pretty reasonable! 

    Yep, I agree, too.  Follow-through is one of the best parenting things one can do, IMO.  And I also think that the other comment was totally TIC.  That's how I read it.

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  • FWIW, I always thought (even before I had kids) that there was no reason to deprive kids of normal things...it's a special occasion.

    Get off your high horse. 
     

     

    AGREED

  • 1/2 of the fun of Halloween is giving out and getting candy.  Just like anything else, it's fine in moderation.  It's also important to let them enjoy special holidays/days and be kids.  Mine both had 3 pieces of candy tonight.

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  • I have never restricted my daughter from having candy and she dosn't over indulge in it. My daughter is now 12 and I really feel that because candy has never been off limits to her she hasn't had a reason the feel like she needs to eat a ton of it when she has the chance. We actually end up tossing out a ton of my daughters holiday candy because she never ends up eating it.

    Over the years I have seen many of her friends that were not allowed to have candy very often go crazy when they have the chance to have it, they will binge on candy when given the chance.

    I might just be lucky and have a child with great self controll, but I feel that not making candy off limits from the start was the best way to go.

    I also think that many of the parents out Trick or Treating with really young and kids do it so that the parents can eat the candy and many of the children actually don't eat very much of  it.

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  • You never sounded judgmental or like you were on a high horse. That is very nice of you to concede that you were overthinking your statement. (the way my hormones are during pregnancy, I wouldn't apologize for anything!) This whole website is overthinking everything about pregnancy and parenting. Without us overthinking everything, thebump wouldn't exist. So over think away!
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  • My plan is what my parents had laid out for me: ONE piece of ToT candy a day. And, after my kids have done their ToT'ing, I have them help pass out what's in our bowl for others so they can understand it's not just about trying to get candy- it's about having fun giving, too. My kids almost enjoyed handing out candy better than they liked collecting it!

    And, I gave them very small collection bags. (They were the cheapies from the Target $1 section, very small but still cute.) They're MAYBE half full. I feed my kids extremely healthy food most of the time (don't count cereal, but the other two meals and healthy and well rounded), and they only went around the block. So, the amount of candy they have will be gone by Thanksgiving if I actually give them one piece of candy a day. I may go a day or two without giving them anything. I also have some home-made pumpkin pies here at home with no processed anything in it- I'd rather they have a piece of that than candy.

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  • Sarah, you will figure these things out as you go, just like we've all done (and will do again with #2).

    I don't see an issue with toddlers having a little candy on Halloween.  We let our 2 y/o have a few pieces.  Keep in mind, when you see a toddler with a bag of candy, Mom and Dad are the ones who are going to eat 90% of it. ;) 

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  • What I learned is not to judge.  Like you, I never thought I'd give my child candy or let them watch tv....you know....all the "bad" stuff.  BUT that all quickly changed when around 12 mos we learned of DS's severe food allergies---he couldn't even taste his birthday cake!  He was allergic (and still is)--wheat, egg, dairy, peanuts and tree nuts and soy.  SOOOO this poor kid has a very bland but healthy diet.....tons of fruits and veggies.  SO when it comes to the occasional dum dum sucker I'm cool with it.  That is one of his only forms of "real" sugar----and the occasional nasty cookie that we've found that he can actually eat.  Very rare though.

    So yes, what my thoughts were pre-baby and now are totally different--although I still try to use caution. 

  • I don't allow kiddo to have candy/sweets at this point.  I didn't take him TorTing either - he doesn't "get" it yet and can't have the candy anyway so I didn't see the point.  If he'd had an older sibling or if we went with friends with older kids, I would have taken him but still not let him have the candy ;-)
  • During pregnancy and even during DD's first year, I was from the camp of no candy, no junk EVER.  However, I have become more realistic over time and realized that an ocassional piece of candy isn't going to hurt her. We let her have 2 suckers throughout the night last night and then took the rest of the candy away (well, what was left after she handed it out to everyone we were with!).

  • Last night DD had one fun size reese's whip and 4 pieces of junior mints. 
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  • I let my daughter eat several pieces of candy during and after trick or treating. She had a blast with her cousins and most of her candy came into work with me today.
  • With my first, I was uptight with sweets but then I learned to let go and just not worry so much. It's Halloween (or Christmas, Easter etc).. it's candy...I let my kids have fun and just be kids.

    With my oldest, he goes to town on his candy and has a blast (most pieces he eats one bite of, decides he doesn't like it, sets it down, and then moves on to the next).   With my 2nd, he doesn't really know what it's all about but he has fun eating the sweets that his brother opens and hands to him.. or the sweets that all of the in laws where feeding him last night. 

    It's not the healthiest day of the year, but it's just one day.  It's candy.. it won't kill them.  Now, my oldest will have his Halloween bucket up out of reach and will slowly make his way through his candy when I allow it - and the bucket of candy is usually still around by Christmas.

    They eat candy.  They get a sugar high.  We brush their teeth.  They go to sleep.  It's not like the candy pandemonium is done every day or anything. 

    You'll figure it out as you go along :)

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  • I rarely let DD eat candy. This was the first year she went trick or treating, and she honestly didn't care about the candy. She had a few Raisinets when she got home, and that's it. I stashed the rest of her candy away. I feel like I've stuck to my original intentions pretty well.
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