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Stay at Home Moms
How do you avoid burnout?
I'm curious...........Anyone ever feel like you were about to burnout with all the work that comes as a SAHM? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you do to avoid burnout? I'm a SAHM who would love some advice. Thank you.
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Re: How do you avoid burnout?
You take breaks. HIre a babysitter and get some "you" time.
Do you get any time to yourself?
I'm lucky enough that my mom lives about 20 minutes away.She comes over 1-2 times aweek so thatI can get stuff done around the house and run errands SANS kiddos if needed.
I rarely go out alone when DH is home in the evenings or on weekends because I miss spending time with him and the children. I do need my breaks though so this is what works for us.
Only thing i can recommend is being very proactive about burnout. Doing things BEFORE you fell burned out....
Doing things for yourself, taking breaks, going outside with (and without) the kid/s, investing time in your hobbies, finding new hobbies, exercise, living more slowly, taking time to just enjoy the day, accepting that not EVERYHING will get done- and everything won't be perfect... (honestly that is my best suggestion). Once you accept that- it is easier to go along with the imperfections- and maybe even finding fun in them.
I guess for me- an easy way to avoid burn out is just KNOWING my kids. I can read them very well. Their signs are quite obvious to me- (totally not a strength of DH's) I can tell from VERY early on in the AM (within the first hour) what kind of day it is going to be. Once I read what kind of day it is- i adjust my day around that. If it is going to be a productive day- or a day that nothing is going to get done- and I chalk that up and don't bother to try to be productive- and I just kinda give in and play and make the day a little brighter by doing something different and fun. For me- reading their signs and adjusting my objectives for the day and accepting it for what it is- is the easiest way NOT to get stressed out over things.
I also avoid burn out by realizing that I am going to have good days- and I am going to have bad days. (just like if i was working outside of the home)- No one would know what a GOOD day is- if you don't experience bad ones. plain and simple. So when i am having a bad day- I loosen up and just go with it and try to salvage it with whatever means possible - usually doing something out of the norm- can turn Gisele's bad days (and mine) into better ones. Ex- the other day she was having a MISERABLE and jealous day (of the new baby)- so I busted out some chocolate pudding- i allowed her to mix it - and let her finger paint with it. Totally let her get messy and she loved it. something simple like that- totally made the day much better.
Really enjoying the little things- minimzes burn out in my opinion.
As is just learning to go with the flow.
Nipping it in the bud before an ALL OUT burn out happens is vital though. So schedule 'YOU' time in whenever and where ever possible. Make a 'date' with yourself and schedule your time. Be it lunch with a friend, browsing in the bookstore, a manicure, or grabbing coffee- and doing a crossword puzzle in peace- whatever you like. DO IT. Don't wait for anyone to 'grant' you time off. Because it simply won't happen.
Now if only I follow my own suggestions. lol.
I think it is like any job you have to take mental health breaks.
I try to not to do deep cleaning on the weekends. Laundry, dishes, cooking - yes. Mopping, dusting, bathrooms - no. The weekends at our house are for big projects or family/friend time.
During the week I go to the gym so DD is at the daycare for an hour or so. That has been super helpful. I signed up for a cake decorating class that is once a week. DH cooks one dinner a week on the weekdays. Little things for me really add up.
Eleanor 9.30.13
This is really good advice! I wish I would have done something before the burnout began, so I can definitely tell you to be proactive and if you start to sense you need a break- demand one somehow! I've gotten to the point where I just feel run down, tired, anxious and on edge some days and I realized that I need to hire a baby sitter so I can get a couple hours to myself a week. Or possibly a date night with DH every once in a while. I have a really hard time letting go of trust to someone else to watch my child though and need to find a really reliable and trustworthy babysitter. It's really hard to ever get breaks as a SAHM and I think a lot of times other people may not understand. It's really nice to have this board to connect with others if you are just having a bad day and need someone to acknowledge what you go through.
I agree with a lot of what the PPs stated. The big thing for me is exercising. I exercise every day during the week. Our gym has child care so I get a break for two hours every day. I really like yoga on the days where I am really stressed. After exercising I feel better and DD is exhausted from playing with all the other kids.
If I feel I need more of a break than those two hours I either leave DD with DH (on the weekends) or with our neighbor for a little while so I can take some me time doing something I enjoy (shopping, pedicure, etc.)
As PP said, it's easier (more healthy?) to be proactive to avoid the burnout. I have to focus on it though & make sure we have activities, play dates, excursions planned that ensure that we're getting out of the house. A change of scenery honestly does wonders for MY sanity and DD's. She & I both get really crabby when we're stuck in the house too many days in a row.
I also started a direct sales business a few months ago that ensures that I get out of the house by myself a few nights a month.
You just have to make it happen. Be proactive and don't expect your DH to know when to step in and prevent the burnout.
Here is what I do:
I go to the gym on a regular basis (and Lily goes to the nursery)- up to 2 hours devoted to making myself feel better. I go probably 3-4 times a week.
This fall Lily started a "jr." preschool two mornings a week, but I tend to clean or run errands on those days. If I ever needed a break I could just sit around and knit, read a book, sleep, whatever.
DH takes Lily most Saturday mornings. I usually sleep in (until 8 am), go to the gym, and either meet up with Lily and DH for lunch or get my haircut, meet up with a friend, shop, etc. He gets his sleep in and free time on Sunday.
DH and I go out for a date night almost every Saturday night. We just started this in September and it is amazing how much stronger our relationship already has become. I wish we had done it sooner, but we don't have family in the area and didn't know how to find someone. I found our sitters on sittercity.com. We have two right now that alternate and they are both great. I got 30 plus applications for my post.
Also, this fall I signed up for a beginner knitting class with my girlfriend. It was every Tuesday for 6 weeks and now we are planning on starting a Stitch and *** every week. Knitting is so relaxing and you can do it while you watch TV.
I am a member of a book group that gets me out once a month on a weeknight.
I am going away for the first time without Lily and DH to a yoga retreat center with my girlfriends in a couple of weeks.
Yes, this. My H is going to be OOT this week and I hired a neighbor to come over and put DS to bed tonight. I'm going out to dinner with a few friends. It's not something I do often, but I think it's important to socialize sans my child sometimes.
Definitely take breaks. I do: yoga, take a nap just because, enjoy me time after LO is sleep.
Even little things like grocery store without LO, who eats all the grapes or cries when she sees formula lol