Would you borrow money from your parents?

beantownbride25 · October 2010

To cover IF treatments? Has anyone done this?

Yellow_Daisy · October 2010

No. My parents don't have the money to lend us and I don't want to be beholden to my ILs. Money would come with strings from them.

Ultimately we saved the money we needed for treatment ourselves and paid cash. It took time, but I am glad that we did it ourselves.

mdluv21 · October 2010

Yes my MIL helped us pay for part of IVF. She offered to pay the entire amount but we would not let her. She can afford it and there were no strings attached for us. She said, "You are either going to get it now or when I die and I would rather get to see my grandchildren."

When she put it that way...

It was very hard for me to accept the help though. I paid for college myself, we paid for our entire wedding (except the honeymoon) and we paid for our house, and all the IUI and meds without any assistance so this was the first time for me to ever have someone help financially. I am very thankful and humble.

ladyprof · October 2010

We borrowed money from both sets of parents. We each agreed to pay a third each time for three IVFs and the money was strictly a loan. Fortunately, when we told them we were pregnant we were able to pay them back right away since we budgeted for one IVF right away by ourselves.

GenRN45 · October 2010

we paid for our treatments (what insurance didn't cover) ourselves, but had we gone on to donor eggs we were looking into financing.

My aunt and uncle (who are quite well off) found out what was going on, and having been through IF themselves, offered to cover whatever the expenses would be for the next step. We would have gladly taken the money. We wouldn't have been able to afford DE otherwise.

madelyn07 · October 2010

No, I wouldn't.

We are able to pay for treatments ourselves but if we weren't, I know my dad would give us the money, no questions asked. He's always been very, very generous to me (and my brothers) without spoiling us.

But I still wouldn't accept the money from him.

hollymichael · October 2010

We have the money, but if we didn't, I would take money from my parents without a doubt. If they offered and we needed help, I would let them help. After all, they want grandchildren (and I'm an only child) so they have a really strong interest in us having a baby too.

vanessagorc · October 2010

We are very fortunate, and are not in need of money. That being said, my mom offered us $ to get a larger condo. We declined. I wouldn't want the strings that come w a loan. Or if we take a trip, her thinking "why aren't they paying me back". On the other hand, I would accept an unconditional gift. With no strings attached, like my mom gave towards our wedding. It was something she wanted to do, and was not a hardship for her.

erinandbrockv · October 2010

We have accepted money from my parents so far to cover all of our IF costs. To be perfectly honest, they do not want us to pay them back either.

At first my DH was not ok with it, but my parents really wanted to do this for us. I have a great relationship with my parents, so I do not ever feel like they have this held over me or anything like that what so ever. I think each situation deopends alot on your relationship, whether you plan to pay them back or not.

MrsRich0226 · October 2010

My parents offered but so far we have been able to pay for everything ourselves. My parents didn't go through IF treatments but it was very difficult for them to get pg and ended up with 2 m/c's and finally ended up adopting my sister and me.

If we end up having to move onto IVF, we may reconsider their offer but hopefully it won't come to that.

NicoleeBonsai · October 2010

my parents have never offered, and i'm not sure that they have the means anyway (they are retired, so i doubt it). they paid for 99% of our wedding and while it wasn't a blow-out, it was, i think, more than they expected. also, i have a strained relationship with them and won't ask.

my ILs have offered multiple times to give us money for IF treatments. they already have 6 grandchildren from DH's brother and sister and they want so badly for us to have a child. it's very generous of them but we know 100% for a fact that they do not have the means to give us the money, so we won't take it.

so far, we've been able to afford the minimal out of pocket costs we've needed to pay for.

firewife9278 · October 2010

Yes, but they have offered to help us if we need it.

Saratogabride08 · October 2010

Yes, my parents helped a lot with the DE payment- there are no strings attached and they really wanted to do it. They really want to see us have children because they know how much we want it to happen and without the help, we couldn't afford to move forward.

kthappy76 · October 2010

I don't think there is anything wrong with this, in theory, if both sides know exactly what the terms are. Often parents are happy to help with grandkid expenses, and this is sort of just another one of those.

But for me, I make more than both of my parents combined did when they recently retired, and they've got other things to worry about, so it wouldn't be appropriate in our case. We intend to cover whatever OOP expenses we have ourselves.

JessicaC128 · October 2010

We are completely OOP and our family is not aware we are going through treatments. However, if they were, neither DH nor I could accept their funding assistance. It's just not something we'd do. Not that there is anything wrong with others doing this, but the dynamics of our family and sibling relationships are complicated. Accepting any kind of $ from parents or ILs would make things more difficult with the siblings.

sed722 · October 2010

If it is being offered and it was needed I would accept the money for IVF. What better place is there for inheritance or extra money then towards a grandchild. We are normally very independent, have built our lives without help. But when it comes to that, I would accept the assistance.

hopefulmommy · October 2010

This is an interesting question and one I've been thinking about quit a bit lately. We are in between cycles right now and considering IVF. My parents are really pushing us to do it and were hesitant. They want to pay for it and have offered it to me. I'm not sure how DH will feel about it though. We could afford it but several cycles would be tough. My parents have a lot more money than us and they really want to do this for us. Its weird, they've paid for so much for me (my schooling, wedding, cars etc..) But I feel really guilty accepting money for IF treatments.

amcrd · November 2010

Not at this time, as neither set of parents know we are going through this. That being said, if we had closer relationships with the parents and they had the means, I say go for it! After all, everyone wins!

We have just budgeted and paid oop when we can.

GL!

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