Oh it will happen one day......

BELOVEDCARMEL · October 2010

This is what my bff told me after I told her about my ectopic pregnancy.She said that I will have a baby one day,WTF. Of course she will never understand, she has two healthy kids and never had any problems getting pregnant. It will happen, will it did happen and it only took me 2 years just for me to get to this point. Why does bff have to always be so insensitive? Ok I'm done venting. Am I the only one who has a dumb a** friend like this?

Izabella22 · October 2010

I'd say no you aren't the only one but yeah... I dumped her. But yeah I did have a dumb@ss friend. She actually told me I needed to get over myself and there are worse things in the world.

Rawr08 · October 2010

You are not alone. I have friend like that. They spout out such gems as: "Just relax" "As soon as you stop trying it will happen" "everything happens for a reason"

I think we all have friends like that, and they can suck an egg as far as I'm concerned!

tmhdmh · October 2010

nope, you're not the only one. im afraid to hang out with other people bc of what they might say. if they say something stupid im not sure what my reaction would be and thats probably the scariest thing.

its best that i avoid people for now. i dont want to hear "it will happen, don't give up, you have to move on, it wasn't your fault, you'll get pregnant again, everyones more fertile after a m/c-" (thats my favorite one!)

jinx75 · October 2010

I am sorry someone who's supposed to be your BFF is so wanting of compassion!! Why can't people just think before they speak!?

kathymarie · October 2010

I'm sorry you're going through this again, and at this point. What your friend said is such condescending bullshit_. It's not fair. ((hugs))

a&b=him&me · October 2010

I'm sorry to had to hear that. I'm sure she meant well but she completely failed with the empathy/sympathy line that was "it will happen one day". Those with perfect pregnancies will never be able to understand what its like to be here.

I'm so sorry

cherylanddoug · October 2010

You are certainly not the only one like this. My friend said that she has a feeling it will happen to me this month...sigh...and what if it doesn't? FHs just don't understand.

bryanandkatrina · October 2010

Definitely not alone.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that ((((hugs))))

VeilSdeGTO · October 2010

I'm sorry. I've come to realize that very few, if any, of my friends will ever understand what I'm going through. ((hugs))

keanaa · October 2010

Everyone always wants to point out some damn silver lining because they get so uncomfortable and just want to make you less likely to cry (or get you to stop crying) before they get sad SOB's

A colleague (the author of the website) shared this via a listserv a few days ago. I agree that these types of responses are always what I receive the best, it just sucks that I don't receive this support very often.

https://tamarasuttle.com/2010/05/healing-words-what-to-say-when-loss-someone-dies/

Ryan&Kristin062009 · October 2010

I hate those comments. I mean I think some people are really trying to be supportive in the only way they know how ie "it will happen one day" etc but it stings for those of us who have been through loss or have a hard time getting KU. But yeah certain friends take it to a cruel level and it really makes you wonder.

TeacherVicky · October 2010

My BFF has been through 3 m/c's and still she tells me that and tells me to relax, because that's when it will happen.

ashleyrsotomayor · October 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this again. I know you have had a rough road, and no "friend" should treat you that way. Regardless of whether or not they understand what you are dealing with, they should at least think about what you might be feeling. I think sometimes people who have not been through this just don't have a clue how hurtful those words are. ((((hugs))))

ColleenS629 · October 2010

You are definitely not the only one. I'm sorry Sad

butterfly843 · October 2010

((hugs)) I have a similiar friend. She has a son and had 2 early losses after he was born while she is trying for her second. Now she is pg with twins and keeps telling me it will happen one day. Finally I said to her stop saying that it really annoys me and now she isn't talking to me. I don't care anymore I have been trying longer than her and her telling me it will happen doesn't give me hope.

lookingformommyland · October 2010

Sorry your bff said that. Sadly you are not alone. During this time your core friend group may change. When one of my bffs got pregnant with her second I thought I wld have to cut her loose, but she has been amazingly supportive and very sensitive to what I'm going through. Meanwhile, one of other bffs keeps comparing my m/c to her abortion - (I'm on my cell but :side-eye:) people mean well and try to relate but sometimes you have to them to shut the hell up and backoff. ((Hugs))

KaitySueWho · October 2010

Izabella22:
I'd say no you aren't the only one but yeah... I dumped her. But yeah I did have a dumb@ss friend. She actually told me I needed to get over myself and there are worse things in the world.

Wow was my Ex-best friend yours too.. this is almost exactly what my xbff said.

vflipo · October 2010

((hugs)) Some people will never understand

AGFaso · October 2010

FFS people should just stick with "good luck!"'

jenniann87 · October 2010

You are not alone. I have one of those friends too. Lately when she opens her mouth I just have to shut her out or it will get ugly.

tashaobrien · November 2010

I wouldn't say my bff is dumb. But, she was a bit insensitive. After our loss a few weeks ago, I didn't actually speak to her until days later. At the time, the situation was still very difficult for me to talk about. But, she wanted to know "what happened". So, I told her. Her response was "Don't worry, it'll happen" and less than 5 minutes later, she starts talking about her son and he's trying to walk and she has to watch him all the time so he won't fall and hurt himself and she can't get anything done around the house. I mean seriously? Do you really need to tell me this right now? Not like I expected her to have a meltdown bc of my loss. But, I thought that was pretty insensitive coming from someone I've been friends with for almost 20 years.

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