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Parenting
Does anyone worry about diversity with their DC?
I grew up in a very diverse area of town. I went to public school and the populations were of all races. I love how got to meet some many people and learn different things/cultures at what not.
We moved to a better school district. It's not diverse at all. Very much what I worried about. I'm sure the neighborhood would be shocked to find out I am half mexican! I'm worried that she won't have the interaction with different types of people that I did growing up.
Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does anyone worry about diversity with their DC?
I do worry about diversity with DS. He's not around many people that aren't our race. In fact, this summer his T-Ball coach was black... He was really dark and DS was scared and said, (not around him, thank goodness) "I just don't like the color of his skin." So, we had to have a chat about how some people's skin is a different color, but they're just like us, etc. I'm trying to make it a point to expose him more.
Also, I just want to say that it can still be fine if DC is not exposed to a diverse population as long as you talk to them about it. I didn't know a single person outside of my race growing up, but now I have friends of all ethnicities, religions, etc. I think it's all in how you approach the subject.
Kaden William 11/4/06 and Dawson Michael 6/30/10
Dawson's first birthday - at the zoo
I worry about it from the other side. I've actually had people say to me "We should get the kids together for a playdate sometime! DC has no black friends."
Dude, my kid isn't going to be your kid's token black friend. And thank you very much, we're all full up on white friends.
You're kidding me? There's so much wrong with that I don't even know where to start.
ETA: wrong = the other person's comment, not your reaction.
Nope. Tolerance is not learned from interaction alone. It is learned from the action and reactions of the parents and people around you.
You can live in a totally diverse neighborhood, but if the people do not interact with one another or there is a negative vibe, the children won't come away with positive feelings.
I went to a very diverse public school (advance program) where the kids segregated themselves. I was exceptionally put off. It was my parent's positive attitudes/actions that helped me become the "color blind" person I am today.
Not really. I went to a posh private girls' school where being different meant being a Catholic (there were only 5 of us in a school of 2000) not Anglican (episcopalian to you) or Uniting (presbyrterian/methodist). There were a small bunch of girls who were australian born chinese, other than that it was totally anglosaxon middle class and pretty well heeled.
That school has produced some of the most broadminded and non-judgmental women in my country over and over again. Some of those women have made a huge difference to the lives of refugees (controversy in the wider community over the muslim/middle eastern arrivals), indigenous communities and other disadvantaged groups.
I think the quality of the education has a lot more to do with kids growing up to treat others fairly and equally than whether they see a lot of black faces in their class. Frankly some of the most "diverse" schools I know of have become a Vietnamese vs Somali warzone or an enclave of bigoted fearful white kids who simply get to apply their stereotypes to their classmates or extrapolate their dislike of certain individuals they know to the whole race/religion/ethnic group.
My DH is Chinese but none of his family lives in the US, his step-father is black (Carribean) too. But all of our friends are white. Besides Chinese food/restaurants they will likely not see that many Chinese people. Our town is probably about 85% white. But honestly I am not that worried, I think it is weirder to purposely seek out diversity in play dates and friends than it would be to just hang out with the people around you that you like and if that means there is not a lot of diversity you just teach tolerance to kids. I plan to travel a lot and visit the city regularly enough that my kids will not be shell shocked when they see someone that looks different from them.
I will say though that the 1 1/2 years I lived outside of Nashville I missed diversity, I used to joke that after a while I not only missed real bagels and pizza but I missed Jewish and Italian people. And I saw a scary amount of intolerance there even though I lived in a town that had a lot of non-natives (meaning not from TN originally.)
I did not see this until after I finished my reply and this is exactly what I was getting at, way more weird to seek out diverse friends than just surround yourself with people that are near you and you like. This type of thing drives me nuts, it's like the people that say, I'm not racist, I have a black friend! Nuts. And my kids will not be anyone's token Asian friends either.
Not where we live now. We're near Boston and it's very diverse here.
I do worry for the future, though, since I don't know where H will end up getting a job. I want the kids to be exposed to different ethnicities as well as not have them stick out like sore thumbs since they're both half Korean.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
See, that's just crazy and why I want to live in a diverse area. I don't want my kids to be seen as just the half-Asian kids in class either for good or for bad. And it's not like I would be friends with people just so my children are exposed to different races/ethnicities. I hope my previous reply didn't come off like that. DS is friends with a variety of kids in his class- white, Asian, black, Hispanic, and certainly not because I want to shove different cultures down his throat. Those are just the kids he's in class with and he chooses to hang out with naturally.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
You guys should read Nuture Shock by Po Bronson. It's not enough just to expose your children to a diverse population. You have to specifically address the different shades of people and you have to specifically adress how we are all equal. You have to talk to your kids about race! If you do not they will infer superiority even if they are around people of different cultures/races than you.
People of color are historically better (meaning, they do it) at talking with their children about race, probably because the issue impact them more (being in the minority they have probably been subject to some race based discrimination or at least have been made aware of the issue). White parents do not often speak with their children specifically about race. It isn't enough to say, "we are all equal." Not specific enough for children! They need to hear how people can have chocolate colored skin, or peach colored skin, or cinnamon colored skin and we are all equal. You have to be very specific.
This is a good book to help you, "Shades of People" by Shelley Rotner.
This. Kids notice, and don't try to say that you don't. You just (hopefully) choose not to let the color influence your impression of them.
And being in a diverse school will not make your child well-rounded. That happens at home and how you and others around them treat people that are different than they are. Even in a diverse school, if you've taught your child that white is superior (or whatever generalization), they will also follow that and only associate with white children.
I went to an all white elem/HS and married outside my race - because my parents taught me how to associate with/accept all ethnicities/religions.