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How do you know what to do to help your child?

soontobemommasoontobemomma member
in Parenting

I don't even know if this post will make sense.. but here goes.

 DD1 has just turned 4 and we moved to a new state.  She has made fast friends with the neighborhood kids when it is one on one, but when there are more than one of them around, they exclude her and are quite mean sometimes.   They'll run off to someone else's house or tell her we don't want to play with you. My heart is breaking for her.  

I always offer to do something special with her instead, sometimes that works, but she usually just cries and wants to play with them anyway.

Any ideas on how to help her?  I don't want her to allow herself to be talked to like that, or lose what self esteem she has.   

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Re: How do you know what to do to help your child?

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    meghans30meghans30 member
    Get her involved in some activities, have a get together with the kids and parents. It may take some time, but it'll work out.
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    JennJim2006JennJim2006

    imagemeghans30:
    Get her involved in some activities, have a get together with the kids and parents. It may take some time, but it'll work out.

    This sounds like good advice.  My heart breaks for her, though.  It is so hard.  DS came home from school the other day and said that sometimes his friends don't want to play with him.  That made me so sad.  He is terribly shy also and gets anxious in certain situations so I am struggling with how to help him as well.

    ~Wife to Jim~ Mom to two awesome boys (9.11.06 and 12.10.09) and one beautiful baby girl (3.28.11)
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    IlumineIlumine member

    First, get her involved in some activities where she can meet other kids.  Make it something that she is iterested in and can excel it.  This will bolster her self-esteem and will open her up to meeting kids who have the same likes/dislikes. 

    Then do play dates with THOSE kids. 

    Second, divide and conquor the kids in the neighborhood (after she has started her activities).  Group dynamics can be hard to change by little ones.  But if she can become friends with the other kids on a one-on-one basis, she will have a better shot.

     

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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    soontobemommasoontobemomma member

    I do think the outside activities are a good idea.  We did get her in preschool and she's doing well there... but we could do parks, library, etc. Ilumine, I like your idea of helping her excel at an outside activity, maybe we'll try a sport or ballet.

    Thanks ladies.  I haven't posted on the nest in a while, but it has always been so helpful for me!

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