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Did anyone else marry a couch potato? (frustrated rant)

StrawberryAlarmClockStrawberryAlarmClock member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months
I'm so beyond fed up with DH. Why does he not believe me when I tell him repeatedly how exhausted I am and how much I need his help? I just washed all the dishes, made dinner for BIL & SIL (just got home from the hospital), fed DS & put him down for a nap, did laundry and cleaned the kitchen and made a pumpkin pur?e for DS and toasted pumpkin seeds for DH. While I was doing all that, where was DH? Asleep on the couch. He didn't even wake up to DS's monitor. Now I can't even do house chores and leave DH to just pay attention to a baby monitor?! I'm beyond done with this man and it makes me so sad because I want at least one more LO but I don't know if I can do this times two. He was always a bit of a couch potato but not a full blown lazy bum like this. Can someone just send hugs, advice and/or commiseration my way, please? Crying
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Re: Did anyone else marry a couch potato? (frustrated rant)

  • DeeandBradDeeandBrad

    I can feel your pain cause mine is slightly addicted to his computer.  I will say he hasn't gotten so much better with me just talking to him and telling him how I feel.  I tell him at the begining of the day what we need to get done around the house.  Yes he does it in his own time frame but it gets done.  Taking care of the kids has always been 50/50 but there are times I get very angry when both kids are crabbing and he is playing the computer. 

    All I can say is communicate with him.  I believe most men are truly clueless and need direction on what you want from them.

    Good luck.  Go wake him up and go lay down in your room.  

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  • trapani2betrapani2be member
    imageDeeandBrad:

    All I can say is communicate with him.  I believe most men are truly clueless and need direction on what you want from them.

    This, dh needs a very detailed request otherwise he will sit and let me run around like a chicken with my head cut off.  But if I tell him exactly what I need without being snotty (which is hard when I am exhausted) he gladly does it.

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  • StrawberryAlarmClockStrawberryAlarmClock member
    You're both right. I've been doing the "A 33 year old man should know what needs to be done" thought process and it's obviously flawed. I feel like his mom when I tell him what to do but I guess I need to. Does your DH "rebel" if you give him things he needs to do? What happens if he doesn't do it? Gah. I feel like I'm asking for parenting advice for a wayward adolescent!
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  • misscharlotte04misscharlotte04 member

    Right Hug I'm sorry you are having to do everything, that totally sucks and is very frustrating.

     

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  • sapgirl76sapgirl76 member

    imageStrawberryAlarmClock:
    You're both right. I've been doing the "A 33 year old man should know what needs to be done" thought process and it's obviously flawed. I feel like his mom when I tell him what to do but I guess I need to. Does your DH "rebel" if you give him things he needs to do? What happens if he doesn't do it? Gah. I feel like I'm asking for parenting advice for a wayward adolescent!

    My DH will happily admit that he's dumb and needs direction.  He claims he doesn't see things like messes and what needs to be done.  I called bullsh*t on him and he swears up and down it's true.  I finally gave in and believed him when he actually started asking fro explicit lists of what needs to be done.  He'll happily do it, he just can't work without direction.

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  • DeeandBradDeeandBrad
    My DH also claims he doesn't see that the house is messy.  He thinks it looks perfectly fine when I see a pig pen.  He has very different cleaning standards and would be perfectly happy only cleaning monthly maybe yearly Surprise.  He does not rebel to my request for help.  Yes he may jokily give me trouble about being cleaning obsessed but he does it.  Also remember if you tell your husband that you need him to clean say the bathroom don't expect him to roll off the couch that moment.  If you do expect that it will also set you up for disappointment.  Guys also work on their own time frame.
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  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    Multiple times I've wanted to throw the XBox out the window.  My husband is really good with conveniently asking if I need help just as I'm washing the last dish or folding the last shirt.  He has chronic neck pain and sometimes (I'm sad to say this) I think he uses it for an excuse to sit his butt down on the couch.  One minute I'll see him saying how sore he is, then the next he's forgotten about his pain and he's lifting Katie up and tossing her around and playing with her.  I find it incredibly frustrating because when I bring it up it turns into a battle about how I'm not being sympathetic.  I'm losing my patience.
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  • StrawberryAlarmClockStrawberryAlarmClock member
    imageIvana.Stolichnaya:
    Multiple times I've wanted to throw the XBox out the window.  My husband is really good with conveniently asking if I need help just as I'm washing the last dish or folding the last shirt.  He has chronic neck pain and sometimes (I'm sad to say this) I think he uses it for an excuse to sit his butt down on the couch.  One minute I'll see him saying how sore he is, then the next he's forgotten about his pain and he's lifting Katie up and tossing her around and playing with her.  I find it incredibly frustrating because when I bring it up it turns into a battle about how I'm not being sympathetic.  I'm losing my patience.
    I can see that. I had sciatica most of my pregnancy and I got so "addicted" to sitting that I wouldn't get up and do things (go out with friends, shop) even when it wasn't flaring up. I think we get into a rut and need a swift kick to get out of it.
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  • Danny'sGirl09Danny'sGirl09
    LMMFAO.... I seriously thought I was reading my own damn post with a different username on it.... OH THANK GOD I AM NOT TH EONLY ONE OUT THERE.... I have tried it all!!!!!!!! communicating- lists. speaking iwth his mother, threatening DIVORCE, some sexy daddy time... I GOT NO WHERE and why because of this video game called CALL OF DUTY... Nice right?!? He's an amazing dad- from 6-6:30 ish until OH umm 8-8:30 and it's quick grab a bottle - throw it in my DS's mouth rock him to sleep and bammm down the stairs he goes for the remainder of the night. To hell with a monitor- he's got me to watch baby.... PS he's tired from sitting on his ass at a desk all day. (not because he sat up until 1-2 am playing video games). He works all day- so I have no excuse as to why I'm tired, sick, run down.... I have every chore in and out plus baby and bills to do... all he has is to get up - drive to work- sit at a desk- drive home- sit in his chair- hold his son- eat- DS's last feeding and that's all.... NICE right?!? OH it kills me....
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