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OUgrad
hello! i heard you are the mom to talk to!
I have a 16month old and im pregnant with twins...
i just found out yesterday evening and im feeling very anxious. i new i was pregnant (that was planned) it being twins is the part that is making my stomach have knots!
How did/do you do it all? How do you give your toddler the attention she needs and deserves and take care of two newborns? how do you get them all bathed and in bed? how do you do laundry or make dinner? how do you go to the grocery store or target? im feeling very anxious. I know i have many months for this to sink in and to get organized and plan things but at this moment im a wreck (very excited but very nervous). any and all advice is very welcomed and appreciated!
Thank you!
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Re: OUgrad
::Butting in::: My DS was 12 months when I found out I was pregnant with twins. There are quite a few moms on here with 3 under 2. Everyone is very supportive. Several posts below there is the QTOD about twins plus a singleton. It would be a good starting point to see what people experience. Every toddler is different. You will get through it, and I think most people are anxious.
How did/do you do it all? I don't...DS is in school and I am home with the twins. Stuff gets done when I have time. My priority is the kids.
How do you give your toddler the attention she needs and deserves and take care of two newborns? Get lots of help! Involve your toddler as much as possible such as getting wipes, throwing away a diaper, etc. When the twins are napping/sleeping give your toddler some one on one.
how do you get them all bathed and in bed? I don't bathe the twins at night, I bathe them in the morning.
how do you do laundry or make dinner? I throw laundry in when I can, fold stuff while the twins are in their bouncer and chat with them or sing. Dinner?? haha what is that. We are still eathing easy stuff like sandwiches, crock pot meals, take-out, cereal.
You will be fine! Another MoM gave me great advice just get yourself through the next feeding.
I'll chime in...DD was 19 mo when I found out I was having twins. She is 2, and the twins are 12 weeks.
How did/do you do it all? you don't.
How do you give your toddler the attention she needs and deserves and take care of two newborns? with help. I got a sitter/mother's helper 2 mornings a week for a few hours, DH works from home a day or 2 a week, my sister watches DD occasionally, and my mom comes for a night every couple of weeks. When the twins are napping, DD and I have one on one time - I try not to do practical things during that time and just focus on her.
how do you get them all bathed and in bed? DH bathes the toddler at bedtime, I bathe the babies during the day, usually during DD's nap. Not very often - they usually just get a wipe down with a washcloth!
how do you do laundry or make dinner? I do a load a day. Goes in while DD is eating breakfast and the babies are chilling. Goes in the dryer while DD is eating lunch. Gets folded after they all go to bed. I don't make dinner. We're still on freezer meals/mac&cheese/pizza/hotdogs. The babies scream at dinnertime, so I'm usually dealing with them while DH gets DD fed.
how do you go to the grocery store or target? I tried target with just the twins once and they screamed the whole time. Now I take my older daughter on errands when the sitter comes, or I go after they go to bed, or DH goes after work. I have not taken all 3 anywhere in the car yet by myself.
GL - it's hard, but doable!
Hi! I actually just got to sneak an 1.5 nap in while all the kids were napping. That's never happened before! : )
I was so freaked out as well. I still am! I honestly don't think that will ever wear off.
My biggest piece of advice is to get your daughter in a morning play group, day care or mother's morning out for a couple of hours every day. This by itself helps me get "stuff" done.
How did/do you do it all? I'm a HUGE planner and I am ready for the next thing always. Everything doesn't get done but, it comes close if you are a planner. I have bottles ready for the next feeding, clothes picked out and put together for everyone the day before. Bath stuff is ready to grab at bath time so I'm not running around with babies crying. It's stuff like this that keeps me sane personally.
How do you give your toddler the attention she needs and deserves and take care of two newborns? This is where I fall short but, I'm hard on myself. I carve out time of my day to sit down a do a puzzle or color with her. We always do several books in the evening as well. On the weekends when my H or I run errands we take Emerson with us and the other stays with the babies. This gives us one on one time with her as well. We also have been getting baby sitters and going with her on school field trips or to birthday parties without taking the babies with us. This is, without question, the hardest part of having a singleton then, twins.
how do you get them all bathed and in bed? Like the other ladies, I find it easier to bathe the babies while Emerson is in school in the morning. Emerson gets hers in the evening. The five o clock to seven o clock hour is certainly the hardest. The witching hour where everyone needs something. It isn't unusual for Emerson to be playing in the bath and me sitting on the floor feeding one of the babies-multitasking at it finest!
how do you do laundry or make dinner? I do one load of whites and one load of darks every day to keep the piles small and the task short. Again, I do these things in the morning while Emerson is at school and often do the folding in the afternoon while everyone naps.
how do you go to the grocery store or target? I have a sitter come in on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 8:30 to 11:30. I use Tuesdays as my Target/Manicure/Pedicure/Hair cut whatever kind of day and Thursday is always grocery store day. If I need something random my H can always pick it up on his way home.
I pretty much do it on my own during the day. My H's job is very demanding especially during the legislative session when he isn't home until 10 at night. I always take help from his family when it's offered which is something I didn't do with Emerson. Take all the help you can!
I hope I haven't scared you. For me my teacher instinct kicked in with three and I have to be VERY structured with the time and what gets done and it's working so far through lots of trial and error. Sometimes my kids cry because I'm dealing with another and I've had to come to terms with that.
It's slowly getting better though! Let us know if you have any other questions. Today was a great day for you to post. There are lots of discussion on this topic!
BIP...I have a 3 year old and 10 week old twins. The first two months were REALLY hard. Line up help even just to hold the babies. I get high anxiety when they both cry at the same time. Everyone on here suggests keeping the same schedule but for me it's easier to handle one baby at a time, esp because I bf and can't get tandem working since one twin requires me to sit perfectly still or she'll unlatch.
Anyway, DD is in FT school. Originally it was to keep her space and I had envisioned picking her up early and doing more things with her while on maternity leave but this turned out a bit harder than I planned. Anyway, for the most part I just have the twins. I also do laundry daily to keep loads small to fold and put away, etc.
One and one time: We do a lot of errands and take DD1 along for one on one time. When the babies first came home DH took DD to Tae Kwon Do classes. This month I'm taking her to dance classes.
I prep for dinner throughout the day little by little or at 4pm when they nap. I usually serve it and get DH and DD eating while I bf the babies and then I eat after while DH cleans up.
DH gives DD1 a bath upstairs and I give the twins baths during the same time downstairs. Sometimes I do bathe them during the day.
Bedtime is my hardest part. I'm still scared when left alone with all three at bedtime. But as we round out to 3 mos they are more predictable and bedtimes are a little more consistent and I've actually got all four of us asleep by 9:30pm. My biggest prob is the 3 yr old still likes us to lay down with her.
I use my phone to keep a running to do list. When I'm up at 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am...I use the recipe app on my iphone to plan dinners and for the week.
I do TONS and TONS of online shopping now. It turns out to be faster and easier to ship a bunch of product home (it's usually free shipping) try it on, and whatever doesn't work I can ship back for $6 (worth it) or just take back in store and I'm in and out with just a return without the babies screaming in the dressing room. I utilize Amazon Mom for all of my diapers and wipes and have been xmas shopping with free two day shipping. I even just ordered a bunch of clothes and shoes for the cold months for DD and it just arrives and I'm not running all over the place with the two or three.
On fridays I have a nanny come in for 4 hours. I will usually do errands or get a pedicure, hair appt, dr appt, etc. I then use the last hour to get stuff done at home (i.e. updating baby books, calling for appts, paying bills, clean our cupboards, the fridge, etc). I have a housekeeper come in every other week to do the major cleaning. I just do the maintenance. I'm finally getting into a groove. Still tired but I'm trying to accept that as a way of life for awhile.
I can relate to ougrad...the shock of twins hasn't really worn off and they were born in January! I spent the whole day after we found out we were having twins crying because of what I thought it was going to do to our son's life. Pregnancy hormones are great aren't they?! I am happy to say that I shouldn't have been as worried as I was.
Everyone has given great advice. I think the best thing we did for our son is tried to start making him independent way before the babies arrived so it was second nature to him and it didn't feel like it was because of the twins' arrival. He is exactly two years older then my girls. When I found out about the girls we kind of went into big boy training mode. He no longer was carried up and down stairs, we worked on getting in and out of his high chair by himself, etc. About four months before the girls' arrived he moved into his big boy room. I encouraged more independent play with my interaction being conversation rather then actual one on one playing.
When the babies came home his life didn't change much in his eyes. It's not like he was forced into being a big kid overnight. He's handled them pretty well. We see some issues now because they are getting into his stuff!
I'm not going to lie...there are many days where not a single thing gets done other then the necessities but overall somehow everything works out. I currently have four loads of wash waiting to be folded and put away sitting on my couch but that's not the norm! We worked hard to get the girls on the same schedule which means that their afternoon nap coincides with my son's nap so I usually get about 90 mins to clean the kitchen (seriously it feels like that's all I do some days!) and prep dinner and change laundry. The most important thing to remember is take help when it is offered and also remember to ask for help if you need it. It's hard to admit that you need help but you need to be a happy Mom for your kiddos and your sanity!
Congrats and good luck!