Despite that I was born **7 years** after my older BROTHER, my mother did not have another shower for me.
Even though I was an "uncelebrated" second child, I grew up loved, appreciated and acknowledged and people gave me presents without having had a shower. (Yes, after all the drama on this board, I actually asked my mom about it. ) She seemed shocked that people are insisting that it's ok to have second, third, fourth showers. Then again, she thinks it's crazy to have more than 2 showers for the first kid (which I also agree with).
Your children will not grow up to be soul-less, puppy-kicking, matress-tag-removing-despite-the-threat-of-punishment-by-law, belching-in-public-without-saying-excuse-me hooligans.
I know it seems shocking to even put this out there into the universe, but your child will also *not* be scarred if you use a blue receiving blanket on a girl or a pink flowered burp cloth on a boy.
Just a little food for thought.
Re: Fyi, re: second showers (imo)
I can't help but LOL. Seriously- the way some people go on about how "all babies should celebrated!!!!", you would think the child would be scarred for life if there wasn't a shower in his/her "honor".
I just personally feel that the meaning and significance of showers has been lost. There is a growing sense of entitlement around them, and they are being blown up to being way more important than they really are.
They are not the be all/ end all of events some people seem to think they are.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Once again, all of this. You can celebrate a baby by hosting a dinner and having a cake (I couldn't resist after the "my MIL is an anti-cake commie!" debacle) that says "Welcome Probie!"
You do not need invites, registries, coordinated napkin/dessert plates, hostesses or games to celebrate a baby.
There are a handful of situations (first child for one side of the family, for example) where a "second" shower would be more acceptable, but I think in that case the shower should be for the new parents side of the family with minimal invites to the repeated side.
I agree about the total sense of entitlement, it's disgusting, imo.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Not saying this is the case for everyone, but many, many women view a shower as a right- and let's face it, very few people want to shell out money on things for their own babies if other people are willing to do so.
It's annoying.
But it doesn't mean you're entitled to the help, especially as you choose to have more kids. You want more kids? Go for it. But don't expect your family and friends to fund your baby each time.
And appreciate the shower you're given, even if it's not the theme you wanted, or didn't have the food you wanted, etc.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
If we were to have a girl, I KNOW that peopel would buy us girl outfits anyhow once the baby was born. I would not need a shower to make this happen.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I am going to end up with 2 showers for my second child. First child will be 13 years and 10 months old by time his little brother shows up. I am very grateful to the hostess and the attendees. My first one was yesterday with our Bible Study group at church - they held it during the Sunday School hour - lots of great breakfast food and a very nice gift certificate from the class. We enjoyed spending time with everyone - the gift certificate is very appreciated but unexpected.
My aunts and one of of my best friends are giving me a shower in November. I only want them to invite a few people. Once again it was not expected but is appreciated.
It feels awkward having a baby shower at almost 40 years old.
LOL
I think every situation is different, I also dont agree with 2nd baby showers but my mom had a situation were she had a shower for her 5th child. Here are the facts: 1st off- my mom had 4 girls and she was expecting her 1st boy, 8yrs apart so she had NOTHING! 2nd this was the last baby my mom was going to have and this would be the first time that my aunt was going to be able to host a shower for any of her sisters (only 3 sisters in her family) my aunt is a party fanatic and she throws showers for other women all the time so said she would never even think about not having done this shower for my mom 3rd we lived in a different town so none of the people that were invited had ever been to any of the other showers that my mom had with her first 4. I know my Brother would not have died if he did not have his shower but it was an event that we will never forget!
I have a serious question for all of the ladies who are so adamantly against second showers. Why does it matter to you so much?
I know a lady who had a shower for her fifth child. Initially when a friend offered to throw her a shower she declined saying she had everything she needed and didn't feel it appropriate. The friend insisted that she and other friends wanted to have a party and give cute little baby things. If the friends honestly want to throw a shower and give gifts, I really fail to see what is wrong with having the shower, regardless of which baby it is. Why does it matter to you if she or anyone else has showers for their 2nd, 3rd, 4th or whatever.
I promise I am not being sarcastic. I am just really intrigued as to why this incites so much passion.
Because most people that have second,third, fourth showers don't try and turn it down. Most people either feel entitled to one or validate why it's ok for them in this one specific case. They make registries, they ask for presents, etc.
The purpose of a "shower" is to prepare someone for a new role in life by offering them love, support, gifts, advice, etc. By the second, third, fourth child, they have (or should have) the materials available to them for raising more children. If you want to celebrate the baby, have a meet n' greet, have a sip n' see, have whatever the eff you call it (I've never honestly had one of those, I just go visit people when they are feeling up to company, but w/e). If I want to buy someone a present, I'll buy them a present, I don't need a shower to do that.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.