another worried mom to be question

Jessynlove · October 2010

it seems as though alot of you have miscarried once before.

Have any of you NOT miscarried on your first child?

This is my first pregnancy...and the way my family talks and what I read ...I feel hopeless...like since its my first Im doomed to mc....

please ease some of my fears.

PinkGrapefuit · October 2010

Miscarriages are not in the majority, but people don't usually post "I've never had a m/c". You know what I mean? I have not had one and have one beautiful DS and another one on the way. I do consider myself lucky to not have had any problems, but really... most people have not had one so try not to stress about it.

Amarie13 · October 2010

Um, wow. You need to relax. I don't know what you have been reading and what your family is saying to you, but you really need to stop worrying so much. OF COURSE there are women out there that have not miscarried their first child. Miscarriage has nothing to do with which number pregnancy it is (as far as I know). I know it is nearly impossible but you just have to try not to worry about it. There is nothing you can really do to prevent it if it does happen. Just try to enjoy being pregnant, take things one day at a time, and tell your family to can it!

crwel1048 · October 2010

I totally can relate Jessy. I feel the same way. I'm completely nervous and feel like I can't get too excited about it.Thanks for asking for feedback.

darmca · October 2010

I also have been overwhelmed by the number of miscarriages seen on "the bump" but. . .

This is a highly concentrated amount of pregnant ladies. There are probably about a thousand+ ladies lurking on each board here. No one posts a "I didn't have a miscarriage today" post.

Many of the women on these boards have been tracking their ovulations and know when they are 3-4 weeks pregnant. The stats for miscarriage when you are 3-6 weeks are higher than later stages- many women don't even know they are pregnant at that point

Week of Gestation	Percentage Likelihood? of Miscarriage
1-2(Before your period is due)	75% (this includes eggs that never grow past fertilization, and it would have been impossible to know you were pregnant; after implantation, which occurs 7-10 days after ovulation, the odds go down to 31%)²Before taking an early detection home pregnancy test that gives results before you expect your period, please read about the concerns with it.
3-6	10% (at 14 days post ovulation when hCG levels reach 50-80)²
6-12	5% (or less if heartbeat heard)
2^nd trimester	3% (considered stillbirth after 20 weeks)
3^rd trimester	No longer considered miscarriage once fetus is beyond one pound (500 grams) around 24 weeks gestation. Stillbirth rate is 1%.

https://pregnancyloss.info/statistics/ These are the stats for a healthy, normal woman's first pregnancy. 3-6 weeks the chance is 1/10, 6-12 weeks 1/20 (less if heart rate is heard), and 2nd trimester 1/33, 3rd trimester 1/100. So for every woman you hear miscarrying on these boards, there are 9, 19, or more at the same point who do not.

Hope this helped.

MeggM1 · October 2010

I am glad you asked this, because I honestly feel the same way. The Bump is such a blessing and a curse, because it gives you so much support and is a forum for you to share your excitement when you're not telling everyone the news yet, but you also see some scenarios that make you worry more than you would have otherwise (IMO). The bright side of that, though, is you get to see the support given to women who have suffered a loss, and that makes me feel better that no matter what the circumstance, there's a place for me here.

To the PP, thanks so much for posting that. It put a lot of things in perspective for me, and I really appreciate the chart.

To the OP, like I said, I feel the exact same way. I've dealt with anxiety for years, and while for the most part I'm actually surprisingly calm, I'm also very worried and anxious. It fluctuates a lot. But I remind myself often that I can't go through the whole pregnancy like this, and that I want so badly to enjoy and remember this time fondly (not the symptoms, but the excitement and anticipation, etc.). Again, I'm so glad you asked this.

Jessynlove · October 2010

thank you very much! I feel much better. :-)

ltdgrl01 · October 2010

Thank you so much for posting- I have been feeling the exact same way. I think it's great that there is a place where women can talk about what is going on with their pregnancies but it is also very scary at the same time. Wishing everyone a H & H 9 months!

karantony47 · October 2010

I am happy you posted this as well. I think it is in the back of every pregnant woman's mind, because you never know what can happen. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! Just stay positive and deal with things as they happen.

rpratt1985 · October 2010

I worry just as much as you do. Everytime I have a cramp, or everytime I go to use the bathroom I am worrying about spotting. When I wake up in the morning I just expect for it to all have been too good to be true. But, a lot of the people on this site are here for mutual support--we are here for mutual support so we worry less (or are able to answer our worrisome questions) and those who may need the support of these forums could be those who have experienced loss before or have had trouble conceiving.

kg_08 · October 2010

I never realized how many people miscarried until I started coming to thebump. Try not to lose hope though! My pregnancy was picture perfect with no spotting, no nausea, and I ended up with the most beautiful little girl! Good luck with your pregnancy. If there is one thing I would have done different, it would have been to not worry so much in the beginning, and just be excited!

BetchySprout · October 2010

You will see horrible things on these boards. In my time here I have seen more than one woman lose their baby at term. Babies die of SIDS all the time. Toddlers die of horrible diseases. My point is, the worry never stops. Everyone here is either pregnant or has kids, you will see these things.

My point is don't borrow trouble. Try not to worry until you have something to worry about.

If you miscarried tomorrow, would you rather remember TODAY as a day you were joyful and pregnant, or a day you were worrying about things that might never happen? Will that worry help you not miscarry? No.

I always liked this from the song "Wear Sunscreen"

"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that

never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday"

lynn97 · October 2010

To the PP that thinks OP is just being negative, I totally disagree.

Every day there's at least on m/c posted on here. I remind myself that MOST pregnancies stick but it's sooo hard not to worry when it took MONTHS of trying just to get here (and I know it's taken some of the ladies YEARS and outside help). When I start to worry, I just flip the stats upside down and think that I have an 85-90% chance of having a baby next summer. That reassures me.

Also, thanks to PP for posting the official stats by week. Good info to know!

brandioohoo · October 2010

i'm only 10 weeks, 4 days, so anything could happen, but i haven't had a miscarriage before and this is my first pregnancy, but i am 100% with you. i've known more people than i care to count to have miscarriages and won't feel completely safe until week 14 and the tests come back okay.

newmommainjuly702 · October 2010

This is my first pregnancy, and Dr.'s think I'm miscarrying. It was my worst fear when I first found out. My only advice to you would be not to worry about it as much as possible. Positive thoughts are more powerful than anything. Good luck, and sticky thoughts to you.

MaryJane459 · October 2010

Pattypoundcake:
You will see horrible things on these boards. In my time here I have seen more than one woman lose their baby at term. Babies die of SIDS all the time. Toddlers die of horrible diseases. My point is, the worry never stops. Everyone here is either pregnant or has kids, you will see these things.
My point is don't borrow trouble. Try not to worry until you have something to worry about.
If you miscarried tomorrow, would you rather remember TODAY as a day you were joyful and pregnant, or a day you were worrying about things that might never happen? Will that worry help you not miscarry? No.
I always liked this from the song "Wear Sunscreen"
"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday"

This really helps put things in perspective. I love that quote. Thank you for this response!

OP- I am SO glad you asked this! I wanted to ask this so badly but I didn't know how to word it without making it come off the wrong way. I worry about this every. day. I am so early in my pregnancy and sometimes when I get on here and read all the posts about miscarriages, I feel like there is barely hope to make it past the 1st tri. I know that is not a logical way of thinking at all, and I need to start taking it just one day at a time. I guess its just a mother's instinct, to get us ready for all the worrying we will be doing about these little peanuts the rest of our lives!

LadyLynz83 · October 2010

Thank you for posting what a lot of us first timers were obviously thinking. And thank you to the poster that listed those statistics- it eased my mind a little as well. I realized I was focusing on the wrong part of the "1 in 5 people will miscarry" statistic a few days ag0, and reread it as "4 in 5 people will have a totally normal pregnancy with a baby in 9 months". Those are pretty good odds!

jenerally? · October 2010

I did not miscarry my first child.

Lisa102304 · October 2010

PinkGrapefuit:
Miscarriages are not in the majority, but people don't usually post "I've never had a m/c". You know what I mean? I have not had one and have one beautiful DS and another one on the way. I do consider myself lucky to not have had any problems, but really... most people have not had one so try not to stress about it.

this.

glowpoint · October 2010

I'm so glad that you asked this. Like a bunch of other people mentioned, I've been having similar thoughts, but I didn't know how to ask the question. And thank you as well to the statistics poster. That is a really helpful set of stats to see, and it helps keep things in perspective.

Reagan1010 · October 2010

DS was my first pregnancy and he is healthy and happy! Try to relax and enjoy each new symptom and stage. I was scared through the whole pregnancy about different things. Once your LO gets here, there will be new fears. It comes with being a parent. Try to stay relaxed and know that it's okay to be nervous sometimes, just try not to stress.

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