Multiples
QOTD:Singletons and Multiples
Good Morning Ladies! I thought I'd get this out there today while my pumpkins are still snoozing away. Hope you all have a great Friday!
QOTD: Do you have a singleton (either older or younger)? How are they affected (if at all) by the multiples?
I only have the twins, but I often wonder how having a singleton would affect that child and the twins. Not to say that I want any more though, I think we're done.
bfp 5/17/09 - missed m/c 6/17/09 @ 9w - stopped growing 6w 1d, D&C 6/19/09
BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
This discussion has been closed.
Re: QOTD:Singletons and Multiples
I have a 3 year old dd and almost 2 year old ds. My daughter is super excited. She constanlty asks me when they are coming out and will talk to my belly. I think she is going to be my little helper. But I think she already likes Gia better. lol! She always says, I will feed Gia and rock her and play with her. When I ask her what about Lily, she tells me I can take care of her.
I think my son is going to have a tougher time adjusting. He is more of a clingy, wants all my attention kind of kid.
I have a 2.5yo DD, and she's far surpassed my expectations. It was a little rough when the twins first came home because I wasn't recovered enough from my c-section to have 1 on 1 time with her. I made a conscious effort, and that seems to have worked really well in terms of her tantrums and melt downs.
I can see the problems with learning how to share starting, now that the twins are grabby for things. She loves to hold them, though, and I have a great picture of her sitting in the kitchen on her stool reading to them in their swings (totally unprompted). She sings to them when they're unhappy, and tries to translate their cries for me (as in "Mama, S is unhappy because he's hungry!").
It's funny in reverse, too. They recognize her, and they smile at her all the time. When DD1 does throw a fit, DD2 will sympathy scream with her. It's hysterical, really. Earsplitting at times, but hysterical.
I have a 22 month old singleton and 11 week old twins. There are days when it is so much fun I want to cartwheel through my living room and then there are days that I want to run away to a deserted island with my husband and come back in a few months.
My DS struggled majorly when we first brought the twins home. I thought I did everything under the sun to make this easier for him. BIG FAT MOMMY FAIL. He was throwing temper tantrums like no other, the screaming was literally out.of.control. He was hitting the babies and pulling on their limbs. Acting out - playing in our blinds, throwing his food on the floor, running from me/dh, knocking things over. We started to ignore but reassure and use time-out when needed. Things have turned around almost 100%, now I am working on him not smothering the babies. There is no lack of kisses and hugs from big brother.
My twins were 2 when #3 was born. They were excited and didn't show any jealousy at all. I think they were too young to grasp the reality of it and I also think they were unaffected because they never had my full attention like a first born singleton would. They were used to "sharing" me and DH. Adding one more into the mix didn't phase them.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
We have two older singleton boys (ages 4 and 2). I'm glad the boys have each other to keep company and play with. They love their "sissies" and love to play with them and hug and kiss them : )
The only thing that bothers me sometimes is when we go out and people "ooh" and "aah" over the twins and don't even notice our boys. Our oldest gets right in their face and says "And I'm Sam!" Gotta love the blunt language of 4-year-olds ; )
Although... sometimes when we go out people will look at the girls, then look at the boys and ask if they're twins too! People are so goofy!
Remarkably well so far actually. DD is now 23 months and I was kind of worried, but so far it has been awesome. She loves to help and becomes really concerned for them. When one of them starts crying she asks me "bottle"? She gets upset if we don't take them with us every where and gives them both kisses before she goes to bed.
I am sure it will get harder as time goes on, but I think she has just been too young to get really jealous.
Emerson has never been ugly toward the babies. She is always kissing them and patting them (a little rough sometimes). She took her aggression out on me. Specifically, she started hitting me. The first two weeks I felt so badly for her and let her call the shots. Then, I had to grow a back bone again and start timeouts.
My guilty feelings about not being able to give her the attention I once did upsets me more than anything else at this point.
I sometimes have guilt about having to divide my time. I try to remember, though, that I have given DD1 a great gift by giving her siblings.
When I'm dead and gone, she will have them to understand her history. She'll also have them to gripe about me with! To me, the long term benefits of the gift of siblings helps keep the guilt at bay.
This is SO TRUE. DS1 was 26 months when the twins were born. In the beginning there were the expected issues of him acting out and vying for our attention, and we definitely had some REALLY difficult days and times when all three of them were crying (and therefore sometimes me too). I definitely struggled with some guilt, but I really tried to remember that the difficult days wouldn't last forever and that DS1 wouldn't hate me later in life because I had two more children.
Now that the twins are 10 months old and DS1 just turned three last week, things have gotten SO MUCH EASIER. Really. He loves seeing them first thing in the morning and loves it when they wake up from their nap because he wants to play with them. He was the first person that they both really laughed at, and they're fascinated by him. We do have issues with sharing toys, but overall, now that we've gotten through the really hard part, I love it.
Not sure yet how it will go, will find out in a couple months
I think having the triplets first will help with a lot of the jealousy and feeling like they aren't getting all of my attention. They have had to share me since day one, so hopefully they will not mind sharing with their baby brother too.
My son might be much too young to realize what is really going on. He *seems* to care for them and so far I have not seen any jealousy, although I am seeing him becoming more of a "baby" sometimes. He likes to cover the twins with their blankie and when their paci falls out, he likes to *attempt* to put it back in their mouths and he also likes to "poke" (touch) them with his finger. Like I said, he *seems* to care, we'll see when they're all older and stealing each others toys! hahaha
I definitely feel the same way ...