Etiquette ? re: friend's 2nd shower
I'll try to keep this short:
So I am in a mom's group and this is probably around the 5th mom to have #2. None of the other 2nd time moms have had showers. We all get invite for a shower, for boy #2, with a registry at BRU (including items for the older boy) as well as a little envelope should anyone want to contribute to their "gift tree".
Most of the other moms are not going (is what I've heard). I feel bad, but I don't really want to go either. I'm not particularly close with this girl, and there's tons more things I'd rather do on a Saturday morning to be honest. Some other friends are throwing it for her, so hopefully there will be family and other folks we don't know attending.
My question: do I still have to get her a gift if I RSVP no? I didn't get any of the other 2nd time moms gifts (we all made a dinner schedule to drop off dinners for the families when they had #2). And I don't really expect or want a gift from her when I have DD in March.
WWYD? Reply no and leave it at that? Or reply no and bring a gift to her later? Or reply yes out of guilt since no one else from our group is going to show?
Re: Etiquette ? re: friend's 2nd shower
I'm a member of the "most 2nd showers are tacky" opinion.
I always get a gift for a 2nd child but feel like having a party specifically for gifts for a 2nd is crass.
My vote - RSVP "no".
Take a gift for the 2nd child upon his arrival. And if you want to be a GOOD friend take a meal. I swear the food people brought was sooo much more needed than another blanket or outfit.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Reply no and leave it at that.
With in my Mom's Group, most of us (9 out of 12) have recently had or are pregnant with #2. So we threw "sprinkles" for each person. They were more an excuse for a Mom's Night Out but we had a lot of fun and gave small gifts. Out of the 9, only one had a big shower with family and lots of friends outside the group attending. We all still went to it since she had been to our 'sprinkles' but her Mom and another friend were officially the hosts. In your situation I wouldn't feel bad about not being involved. Maybe she invited everyone just so you wouldnt feel left out but never actually expects anyone from the group to come?
Reply no. Don't get a gift. Bring something for LO upon arrival or do the food thing.
And FWIW, I'm torn on the 2nd shower thing. I always thought they were tacky, but now I'm pg and I have a friend who wants to throw one. I told her that's fine but I'm not registering and I don't expect gifts -- more of a celebration with my friends. Still, I'm scared of insulting people!
Reply no. Then later on you can offer to bring a dinner over after the baby is born.
2nd baby showers are TACKY!
I agree with the meal part. My play group has a great meal program for mothers. I got 3 weeks worth of meals after having dd. It was a lifesaver!
Reply no & leave it at that.
Unless there are some unusual circumstances, I think 2nd showers are tacky.
I would reply no and not send a gift, but bring a meal or something small when the baby comes. I say that only because you obviously don't want to go.. and who wants someone there who doesn't even want to be there?
FWIW, I see nothing tacky about 2nd showers. Its a celebration of the baby that is about to be born, and each baby should be celebrated. If people don't like them, then they don't have to go to them, right? Some family and friends want to participate in celebrating the second child.
Breleigh & Mason