Baby Showers

*** PunkyBooster ***

Thought i'd give you more of the story w/ my baby shower.... trust me, I find it eyeroll worthy too, but it's just something that I can't let upset me.  DH was pretty put off by it too, though.

O.k, first, I went to bed early the night before. I was tired, wanted to be ready to go, etc.  At 11pm the phone rings.  DH wasn't home. I was like "who the F!!!!! is calling?".  I see it's the IL's. 

I didn't even answer. I was SO pissed.  The concept that his dad actually thought "Oh, 11 pm is a totally fine time to call" floors me.

And the message was to tell us that MIL had a stomach bug and couldn't come to the shower. The fact that I KNEW why he was calling pissed me off even more.  That couldn't wait until the next morning?!?!

Also, she seems to get "stomach bugs" before any big event that we know she doesnt' want to go to (again, all this is relating back to depression issues, etc). 

Now, she is very much a "you have to show up w/ a gift" person.  I say that because *I* personally wouldn't have cared if she had come w/o a gift.  She was one of the impending grandmothers - I just think it would have been nice to be there to kind of revel in that glory a little.

But I know that SHE would never show up w/o a gift.  And knowing how my IL's are, I actually had a strong suspicion that they simply didn't plan things out and I had a suspicion that the real reason she wasn't coming was that she forgot to get a gift. 

Later that week, we got a delivery of a bunch of random stuff from our registry from them, and it was all ordered the day after my shower.  At that point, my DH was actually really upset.  I think if they had had a gift already, it was all nicely wrapped and obviously some thought was put into it, he (and I) would have been more understanding about her not coming to the shower.

But the fact that it was obvious that they just didnt' plan their time (they are both retired and have TIME on their hands!) and didn't bother to get out and get a gift ahead of time was what kind of made it all hit home a little more. 

Again, we didn't care about the fricking gift.  It's knowing their attitude about it and from that, their lack of effort and thought - that was the upsetting part.

So, it's not entirely "oh, no big deal, my MIL didn't come!".  The shower itself, I knew it would happen and I actually really don't care that she wasn't there. I really feel it's her loss, not mine.  But it was more the other stuff surrounding it, and why she didn't come, and my DH being upset- that is more the part that frustrates me.

The minute details don't bother me as much as the bigger picture does, I guess is how I can explain it.

** Side note, though, that kind of makes me laugh ** DS was recently diagnosed w/ Celiac disease.  He can't eat wheat or gluten or it creates intestinal issues.  It's a hereditary disease.  We actually don't know if he really got it from a family member, though.  But FIL has convinced himself that he now has celiac. even though he's been tested many times and it always comes back negative.

W/ all the stomach issues MIL has, I was like "hmm... maybe they are more real that we realized and maybe SHE is the one who actually has celiac".  All this time we're like "Yeah , yeah, yeah, stomach bug AGAIN.O.k., whatever", but now I'm like "Oh, hmmm... maybe there actually is some truth to it.". 

(still a little too coincidental when her issues crop up, though.)

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

Re: *** PunkyBooster ***

  • Wow.

    I find the celiac disease a coincidence. Hmmm- maybe she does have it! ha. 

    I still find the entire situation weird and am glad it doesn't hurt you. I know she's a bit of a looney tune anyway! 

    How is little D doing, anyway? Is his system straightened out? 

  • I just looked at how long that was.  Oy.  Props to you for reading it all.

    Ultimately, the whole thing w/ MIL is just sad.  She used to be a very vibrant, outgoing, active woman that loved life.  All the medical issues she ran into about 10 years ago have just drastically changed her.  So, while at times she's very frustrating to deal with, at the same time, I haven't walked in her shoes.

    He's doing great - just as long as we keep him off gluten. His pedi is actually now concerned he's overweight... ironic! 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • Not to butt in but I wonder if your MIL has social anxieties and the thought of being around a bunch of people really does upset her so much that she gets an upset stomach.  ALthough, it would  be nice if she could seek out help to cope with it so it doesn't affect her life like that. 

    I am sorry that she is like that.  I know you have given some great IL advice before that I have applied to my own life. 

  • imagestw_77:

    Not to butt in but I wonder if your MIL has social anxieties and the thought of being around a bunch of people really does upset her so much that she gets an upset stomach.  ALthough, it would  be nice if she could seek out help to cope with it so it doesn't affect her life like that. 

    I am sorry that she is like that.  I know you have given some great IL advice before that I have applied to my own life. 

    Thanks.  Yes- I think there may be some anxiety there too.  She's really closed herself off.  While she has always freaked out before a trip, for example, she would always end up going.  Well, last year, for the first time, she refused to go to Chicago for a family wedding.  FIL still went, but I felt this was a huge step (in the wrong direction) for her.

    She's been talked to before about getting help.  But in the end, SHE is the only one who can make that happen. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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