Pre-School and Daycare
My neighbor's daughter...
...loves to come over and play with my daughter. Granted, there is a 3 year age gap--she's 6 and DD just turned 3--but they get along well and have a good time together. However, she can be relentless when it comes to the after school visits. Sometimes, as soon as we pull into the garage, she's running out of the house to come over. Other times, it's 5 minutes after we arrive that she's knocking on the door. Today, she met us at the door and when I told her to come over later, she was back in less than 5 minutes. To top it off, she questions DH's and my authority. If we say "Come over later" she responds with "How come?" If we say "Not today" she says "Why not?" I'm all for children asking questions and being inquisitive about how things work and what things mean but it's coming across as her wanting her way and nothing more. I've been telling my husband that we might need to sit her down and explain to her that when we say "Later" or "Not today" that we are saying it for reasons that are sometimes beneficial to her and DD (someone being sick) or because we have certain activities that we need to take care of (DD's dance, school projects) or because we just want some downtime. I would have expected that her parents would have had this conversation with her and maybe they have but if they have, it's not working. 
Do y'all think this is a quick conversation we should have with her? What would y'all do?
Do y'all think this is a quick conversation we should have with her? What would y'all do? This discussion has been closed.
Re: My neighbor's daughter...
It sounds like her parents aren't really on top of the situation. I wouldn't be letting a 6 year old invite herself over - I mean what if you had a 6 year old say she was going next door and it turns out something happened, but they thought she was at your house for all that time? I personally think they should bring her over, and that it is taking advantage of your supervision of the kids, but that is just my opinion. It seems like she is bored if she is waiting for the second you pull in the driveway and is running over. I know you said they are having a good time, but for her to be ready to 'pounce' at any given time seems a bit much.
Maybe you could bring it up to the parents in a nice way, even something like how it gets your daughter's hopes up seeing the girl even though then you have to say they can't play, that maybe a phone call would be better.
Nest Bio ~ ~ Baby Food Blog
I would talk to the parents of the girl, and if that doesn't work then with the girl herself. I like the idea of setting up a time in the future for her to come over. I also know where you are coming from. The little girl who lives behind us does the same thing, she's 5. She'll ask dd1 if she can come to play who is all about it but it has been at some awkward times (like the afternoon of piper's baptism when we had family over for brunch or right before lunch/nap time). Her mom is on top of it, but sometimes doesn't quite get the message right. She'll ask Katie if sara asked her mom and katie doesn't realize that sara doesn't quite get that katie is asking her if she asked her mom... anyhoo, it is awkward. The worst was when her older brother and his friend who was over as well invited themselves over to our place. Luckily "We didn't have any cool toys"
OMG! Yes! This is exactly it! Especially the part about inviting the older brother over. My neighbor's daughter has twin brothers who are 9 and one time they ALL knocked on my door like "We're here to play with Jade." And I'm like, "Uh, sorry guys, Jade can't play today." And of course I was bombarded with "Why nots?" Geez...
LOL, I don't think the 6yo is "questioning (your) authority". She's 6. She asks why. It's what they do. Your 3yo will hit the why stage pretty soon, probably in about 6mo. Just say "because we're busy right now" or even the old cliche "because I said so".
I would call her mom and set up a playdate. Tell her that since 6yo is coming over all the time asking to play but you've had to say no a lot since it's not always convenient that you want to set up a time when it is convenient. That should clue her in as to what her kid is doing in a nice way (assuming she doesn't know).
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO