Was your first failed ttc cycle the worst?

kathymarie · October 2010

I'm facing the end of my first TTC cycle and I can't help but fear the shitstorm of emotions that are sure to follow the arrival of AF.

MF wasn't in today, but bitchy attitude was--my # 1 AF sign. I'm really scared of how upset I'll be.

How did you deal with your first CD 1 after starting to get pg again?

carrieandtim · October 2010

Thank you for asking this...I've been wondering too.

Gummybear · October 2010

Nah, because I never in a million years thought we'd TTC on the first try. This past one was the hardest so far because that was the one we conceived DS (cycle 4). And now it is officially taking longer. Plus, now I've gone longer between pregnancies than I ever have, I've always conceived within a few months of a loss. Sucks.

linzica · October 2010

My period was 3, yes f-ing 3 weeks late the first month we ttc again. I took about 10 tests, and was researching the accuracy of each kind and brand. I kinda turned into obsessive girl. It sucked. And then Idrank a case of beer and cried some and moved onto the next month.

Good luck!

ashleyrsotomayor · October 2010

The first failed TTC cycle after our first loss was rough because my best friend from Orlando, who had also had a loss at the same time as me, was pretty much on the same cycle date as me, only a few days behind. We had planned a big girls' weekend to NYC to visit our other BFF, and I was going to test just a couple days before the trip, and she was going to test while we were there. So we were so hopeful we would be pg together. Of course I got a BFN a few days before our trip, and she got a BFP the last night of our girls' weekend in NYC. Of course I was thrilled for her, especially because of her loss, but it was hard thinking how we wanted to be pg together a second time Sad Strange twist: She had purchased a digital 3 pack in NYC, got her BFP on the first one, and gave me the other two "lucky ones". I used one the next cycle and got my second BFP...which of course ended in a m/c again...but I still have the third one reserved for this cycle Stick out tongue Hoping it will give me a BFP too, and make it three for three out of that pack!

So...long story I know, but the first failed cycle was rough. So was the first failed cycle after my second loss....((((big hugs)))) and don't give up yet!

Gilgenbach2007 · October 2010

My first ttc cycle I wasn't expecting to get KU, so I really wasn't bothered by a bfn. I think my second cycle was worse because I thought maybe that could be the one. This is my third, and I'm sure it will be worse than the second and so on.

BabyTrippin · October 2010

The first cycle that I actually O'd post m/c wasn't so bad. I was so thrilled that I O'd that the BFN was bearable. My first (and now second) failed clomid cycles were so hard. Especially after an evap and a defective test this past cycle.

Kira98 · October 2010

The second failed cycle was worse than the first. I didn't really expect to get pregnant on the first, especially because my cycles are still messed up.

ZZsmommy · October 2010

Since I've had 3 losses, this last time was not as bad as I suspected. I was depressed, for sure, and sad....I remember that AF started at work, and I was so sad that after school was out I could go home, I just sat there at my desk for the longest time staring into space. But after that initial first-response of sadness, I started feeling better. I have problems conceiving though. DS took me many months - I started, tried for a few cycles, conceived, lost the baby....tried again for a couple cycles, conceived....and a couple days later fell on a slippery floor at work and lost the baby . Finally, after 4 cycles, I conceived DS, and had the most harrowing 8 months of my life, with lots of complications, bedrest, H-EG, GD, Pre-E, an emergency C-section delivery, premature baby with life threatening heart condition.......it goes on.

When I conceived this last time around, it was on only my 2nd cycle of actively trying, and I was blown away! I could hardly believe it.....and then when I began spotting and was diagnosed with threatened miscarriage.....you know. Losing the baby actually didn't surprise me - my mind has built it up to believe that it's not supposed to be easy to conceive....getting pregnant after just 2 cycles just doesn't happen to me...... So, trying this first cycle back after m/c, I was not at all surprised to see AF. It sucked.....but....I go on, because its the only real option I have.

I hope the attitude is just your MF sign. And, if its not, then, here's to lots of baby dust next cycle.

damabo80 · October 2010

actually, my emotionally "hardest" was my first IUI cycle (before my loss). I really thought it was going to work.

Now, I'm more "eh, whatevs". I get surprised if it actually DOES work.

AutumnLeavesFall · October 2010

Ive been at TTC over 6 years now. So I'm kinda numb to the experience.

kathymarie · October 2010

Thanks for sharing, ladies. You've all been through so much and I want you to know that I get strength from you. For serious.

I got pg the first cycle with the m/c and if it takes awhile, it's going to be all that much harder for me to wait, kwim? I know I have to be patient and that I got very lucky the first time, it's just hard.

I want a baby now. I miss my old baby so badly. I feel lonely without it and like something is missing. I just don't want to feel sad anymore. Fvck, now I am hysterically crying.

TheGregory's07 · October 2010

No not at all. I think it will be tough if I am not pregnant by March which is when we lost Ryan.

Karen1998 · October 2010

I was okay with it. I was a bit annoyed that I O'd 5 days early, but glad that my LP was a whopping 11 days, rather than 10 (like the month before). Past that, while I hoped that I'd get KU on the first shot, I had little confidence that I would as it took us 10 months the first time. I was surprisingly ok. I really thought it was going to bug me, especially since my MF was colossal, but I was okay with it.

ZZsmommy · October 2010

TheGregory's07:
No not at all. I think it will be tough if I am not pregnant by March which is when we lost Ryan.

My thinking, too. I know several here have come to their EDDs and have still been trying. That scares me. I think if my EDD comes and I still have not gotten that BFP, that is when I'll really lose it.....

shoefreak85 · October 2010

I was okay after the first. I guess I had prepped myself the entire cycle to not expect anything. If there was something, I would have been completely surprised and thrilled.

I hope you have better luck and get your BFP soon!

TeacherVicky · October 2010

I will admit, it was difficult. I had a little meltdown when AF came around. Once she was almost gone, I was anxious to TTC again.

I just kept trying to look ahead. Really, that is the only attitude that has gotten me through all of this. I keep looking ahead and am anxious for something positive to come.

ColindaP · October 2010

Nope, my successful TTC cycles have always been the worst b/c they always mean another m/c.

lookingformommyland · October 2010

I would have to say yes. I cried every time my temp took a dip. On CD 1 I cried for at least an hour - uncontrollable, snotty-nosed, curled in a ball type of crying. And then I cried because I felt stupid for being so upset when logically I know it could take time.

rock-elle · October 2010

It doeas suck but it is not the worst, passing your EDD and your 1 year mark sucks even harder... Crying

jamilynn9 · October 2010

TeacherVicky:

I will admit, it was difficult. I had a little meltdown when AF came around. Once she was almost gone, I was anxious to TTC again.

I just kept trying to look ahead. Really, that is the only attitude that has gotten me through all of this. I keep looking ahead and am anxious for something positive to come.

I keep looking forward too. My 1st cycle was much harder than the 2nd. I had a relatively easy time getting pregnant the first time (when I didn't know as much as I do now) so I thought fertility-wise I was good. I also put a lot of pressure on having a baby during this school year and not the summer. Now that that bubble has burst, last month's bfn was a little easier. Hopefully 3rd time's a charm.

shanna82 · October 2010

They are all hard. Seriously.

I do remember feeling different with the first one--I shouldn't have been bleeding, because I should have been pg. And the blood reminded me of my m/c. But it was such a looooonnnnggg cycle (61 days) that I just wanted it to be over so I could move on to the next one. Silly me, I thought after the first wonky one, I would go back to my FH regular AF self. Yeah, that didn't happen!

jillcanada · October 2010

rock-elle:
It doeas suck but it is not the worst, passing your EDD and your 1 year mark sucks even harder...

This. AND The first time trying after each loss I didn't expect to get pregnant since my body was all effed up, like this cycle. I seem to always O later after a loss. It's when it's cycle 4,5,6 and continue counting...when it starts to really hurt.

x0stephanie · October 2010

I'm not expecting it to happen this cycle since we purposely didn't bd around ovulation, but next month when we actually try 150% I know I'll be devastated if we aren't successful right away. I've never been through it before since we conceived 3 weeks after our wedding.

itsmevkb · October 2010

Not even close to being the worst. I never expected to get pregnant our first cycle trying again so that cycle was actually probably the easiest. All failed cycles suck and they just keep getting suckier the more of them you have. Oh, and they get super sucky when you start fertility treatments and spend a ton of $$$ only to still not get pregnant.

Want a personalized experience?

Was your first failed ttc cycle the worst?

Re: Was your first failed ttc cycle the worst?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards