***Moms' Weekly Check In***

Re: ***Moms' Weekly Check In***

• MrsShackleford member

  October 2010

  QOTW: How do you handle differences of opinion with your parents or your ILs when it comes to your child?

   

  Both of our families live far away so we usually don't have to deal this much.  MIL suggested we shave DD's head when it was taking forever for DD to get hair.  We just laughed it off.

   

  DD is more awesome everyday.  I love cosleeping and those affectionate moments in the morning (albeit 5-freakin-am) are what gets me through the day.

  Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• bobcatsteph member

  October 2010

  Happy Birthday Abby! I can't believe she's already 5!
  Good luck tomorrow Adley.
  
  QOTW:
  I'm not big on causing fights so I just listen, smile, and continue to do what I'm doing..or explain that we do things a different way. Nothing has ever caused an argument and they honestly don't try to tell us how to parent very often.
  
  Updates:
  We've been spending a lot of time playing outside lately. We've been going to playgrounds..Caroline loves to climb on the equipment by herself and slide over and over.
  
  She's still sleeping in the bed with us and I am just about over it. I have not been sleeping well because she kicks me all night long. I don't see a transition to her room going very smoothly though. Ugh.
  

  
  

  

  

  
  
  The Blog

  Report0 Reply
• MrsBeckO member

  October 2010

  Happy Birthday, Abby! And MrsJayOk, I hope all goes well tomorrow! I hope you can get some answers and feel better about your DD's diagnosis. Let us know how it goes!
  

  QOTW: I have no problems sharing how I feel or standing up to my own mom about our parenting choices. There have been several things along the way that she hasn't understood or been totally on board with - cloth diapers, bedsharing the first year, the floor bed, baby wearing.. but she understands that these are our decisions to make and usually respects our wishes. We have an on-going issue with feeding though because my mom tends to offer DD just crap and I'm not cool with that.. but I can usually just say "Mom!" and she'll remember that I'm a bit pickier.
  The ILs though, I struggle with this. I feel like they don't really care for me as it is, so I am usually afraid to speak up. They tend to be passive-aggressive with me which DRIVES ME CRAZY. If they disagree with something I've said or done, they turn to DD and say something like "Aw, your mom's worried about us giving you this whole chicken leg. You just tell her we did it with your daddy and he survived". UGH! My reaction is usually just to give DH the death stare until he speaks up. I really need to learn a better way of handling that sort of thing with them.

  Update: Cam is trying to talk all the time now. {awesome} And throwing tantrums multiple times a day. {not awesome} Her tantrums consist of throwing herself onto the floor, and crawling to the nearest hard surface (off the rug, to the wood) to hit her head. WHY!? It sucks. Other than that though, things are just same ol' same ol' - great eater, decent sleeper, lots of fun.

  
  
  The O'Baby Blog

  Report0 Reply
• Abrooks

  October 2010

  Happy birthday, Abby!!

   QOTW:  hmmm.  With MIL, our first approach is to limit exposure. Our second approach is to intervene and remove our girls from the situation.  For example, MIL was scolding A for not giving her a hug when we were leaving after a very long day. A didn't want to hug her and I don't think it should be forced.  MIL grabbed her arm and told her she was required to give her a hug b/c she is the grandmother and she needed to learn better.  (I've received the same speech, just substitute grandmother w/ MIL.)  We walked over, told told A to come look at something over here and then told MIL that A didn't have to hug her if she didn't want to and we were going to force the issue.  So - that's our general tactic when there are disagreements.  

  Update:  Baby N will be 4 months tomorrow.  She's rolling to her side but not quite over to her tummy yet.  A is thrilled to pieces about halloween and asked to wear make-up.  I agreed but DH is so not happy about it.  It's just one day - so I think it'll be fun.   

  Report0 Reply
• jennyfromblock

  October 2010

  Happy Birthday Abby!! One whole hand, yay!

  Good luck Adley!

  QOTW: I'd say for the most part Dh and I really just brush off what everyone else has to say. Our families live far enough away where we never have to deal with it on a regular basis. When we do see them everyone is so excited that no one is boggled down with being pushy about how we "should" be doing things. Of course I say that and we head up to Ohio for the IL's at Christmas. They definitely  have a different parenting style then we do so this should be interesting.

  Ayden is doing good. For the most part. His fussiness before and during his sleep is ridiculous though. I thought he was teething because I can see a small white tip of it, however it's been several days and nothing has changed. He's been waking several (like 10) times a night to have his paci replaced and it just gets exhausting. I've started reading Ferber's book and think it sounds promising. We'll see how things progress over the next few weeks and take it from there.

  Report0 Reply
• Nessia

  October 2010

  
  

  QOTW: How do you handle differences of opinion with your parents or your ILs when it comes to your child?

   

  I don't have too many differences with my mom or the IL's. When there have been differences I pick by battles. For example I didn't believe DS needed to see and ENT and needed tubes. My MIL thought he did. I figured taking him to an ENT wouldn't hurt anyone and it turns out she was right. I'm lucky though that neither of our parents are overbearing when it comes to how we raise our kids. 

   

   

  DS - I love his age. He is learning new things everyday and it's so cool too watch it. He loves baseball and the Texas Rangers. During the game he just repeats "go rangers" over and over. Oh, and he loves being naked. After the shower he will throw a fit over putting clothes on. And are boys always obsessed with their penis? geez the kid needs to leave it alone already.
  

   

  DD - She is really growing up. She is doing her first communion this year and that is really eye opening to me. I can't believe I have a child old enough for her first communion. She has been doing better in school but we still have not determined if she will be tested for dyslexia. 
  

  Report0 Reply
• rssnlvr

  October 2010

  Happy Birthday to Miss Abby and lots of luck with the testing tomorrow, MrsJayOK/Adley!

  QOTW: luckily, my parents rock-the-universe and have NEVER said anything about any of our parenting decisions. My mom even was enthusiastic to try baby wearing when she stayed with us when A was just born, and she loved it! They totally trust us and have even learned some stuff from US about what the new recommendations/trends are. Then we have my ILs. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I'm sorry, but things have changed in the 30 years since you've had infants, not to mention you were in SOVIET-ERA RUSSIA when you had them. They didn't trust us at all in the beginning and constantly told us we were doing things wrong. DH and I were totally on the same page about it though: explain to them the reasons we do what we do, state that we appreciate their input, but that this is the way we are doing it, end of story. They have very slooowly come around and are much less nosey now.

  Update: This is such a cool age! She is a little sponge, especially verbally, and is picking up 2-3 new words a day! She's even starting to string together words. I'm wondering how long we're supposed to keep count on how many words she knows...we're up over 50 now, and really, what's the point? She is still toddling, not walking. She's getting better about standing independently, but really, she rather talk to us than do any of that. She's started having a really hard time when we leave her at school in the mornings...it just about killed me on Monday, but she's done it to DH yesterday and today, so I know it's not just me. Is this separation anxiety? Sucky suck. One molar is FINALLY breaking through and another is close. Molar teething SUCKS. We are also in the midst of weaning. We're down to just before-bed nursing. I hope to be able to drop that one by the end of next month.
  

  Dear Bump: You suck.

  Report0 Reply
• balihaigirl member

  October 2010

  QOTW: How do you handle differences of opinion with your parents or your ILs when it comes to your child?

  Fortunately, this has not really been an issue for us (yet).  My ILs live about 2k miles away and they are pretty laid back and the kind of people who kind of just observe and don't really interject their opinions about things (which is nice).  My parents, are another story.  Every once in awhile they'll make a comment about religion (they are extremely religious and I am not) but they don't like that I'm not exposing L to anything.  I usually just ignore them and make them feel uncomfortable for bringing it up, lol.  This is one of the small reasons DH and I feel like it might be best if we lived a little bit further away from my parents ... I really hope that as our child(ren) get older they don't try to push their beliefs on them. It would really bother my DH and I.

  No new updates, really.  L is doing great.  He's starting to blab a little more... not too many words yet.  Oh but he loves making animal noises!  LOL.   He's in the same boat as bobcat, he loves being outside.  My SIL says she takes him to the park 2x a day and he spends the majority of the day out on their play structure.  I really want to get one for our house.  When he goes in our backyard he jsut runs around in circles, over and over again. 
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• Temp13436125005166

  October 2010

  Happy Birthday Abby!  5?!?!?  How did that happen!
  And good luck to MrsJayOK and Adley today!

  QOTW: I'm really lucky because MIL sees mostly eye to eye on a lot of parenting stuff.  My Mom and I vary more in parenting style but my Mom isn't pushy at all, she only gives advice if I ask and she's really open and accepting of all our parenting decisions.  Sure small things have come up but a little venting to a friend has been enough.

  Updates:  Megan has started the "why" phase, it's still really cute to me though.  And she only goes about 2-3 why's deep and then she'll say "Oh, ok Mommy", it's adorable!  Ryan is all about pointing and trying to say words, he's just getting more and more like a toddler all the time, so sweet! 

  I've started to cut back on pumping at work, this week I'm dropping one pumping session so only 2x a day :-(  I forgot how emotional this is.  I'm hoping for a long gradual weaning, I really just want/need to stop pumping.

  Report0 Reply
• mrssnflwr

  October 2010

  QOTW: So far we haven't had much of a problem. My mom or MIL will suggest something or offer their opinion, but neither of them is pushy with their opinions and really try to honor our wishes. We are very lucky to have such wonderful and supportive family!

  Update: I'm still in survival mode after DS's birth. I'm pumping full time. I have a cyst on my left nipple, so that is pretty painful. I also started developing an infection (probably beginnings of mastitis) in my right boob. I'm on antibiotics now, and hopefully that will help with both! I've been able to give him an oz of Gentlease formula a few times a day in his BM bottles. I'm hoping he continues to transition well so I can cut down on pumping. I have over 200 oz of BM in the freezer right now, so we'll be able to give BM/formula combo for a little while.

  DS is over 8lbs now, so we're very excited about his progress in the last 5 weeks. His due date was last Saturday. He is a very sweet baby! DD will be turning 3 in a few weeks, so we've got party plans in full swing. She is a great big sister and seems to be adjusting well...as long as she gets her naps! She is SO excited about Halloween, so I can't wait!

  

  Report0 Reply
• Emer member

  October 2010

  QOTW- I try to discuss it with my parents.  They are mostly rational people and are respectful of how we handle things, even if they don't agree with it.  With the IL's, I just bite my tongue.  Our relationship isn't the best and DH isn't up for the fight, so I just let stuff go.  Not ideal, but I guess it's not worth the hassle.  I don't know.

  Updates- DD is full of humor, which is awesome.  She has a lot of trouble going to bed at night and regularly gets out of bed to go the bathroom.  We let her, and she always produces, but it sure seems to be a stall tactic at the same time.  She's been climbing in to bed with me in the middle of the night, which I love.  I know I'll get tired of it one day, but I'm soaking it up for now.  DS is cutting his molars and it's hard.  I think they are almost through, though.  He LOVES to dance and they both love music, so he has plenty of dancing time.  I can't believe he's almost two.  He is nothing close to a baby and we miss not having a baby around.  But two toddlers keeps us busy!! 

  Report0 Reply
• KSandAE2008 member

  October 2010

  QOTW: I have to ditto rssn on this one, but my parents rock. They are super supportive of the decisions we make and I honestly don't know what I would do without them. My SILs on the other hand...I try to ignore them because they can be know-it-alls and are never wrong. I will leave it at that so that this doesn't turn into huge vent.

  Update: DD has her first tooth trying to come through. On top of the teething she has her first ear infection and pink eye. Needless to say we are having a rough week and I need some more sleep. I wish that I was at home cuddling with her right now.

  Happy birthday to Abby and good luck to Adley!

  Report0 Reply
• kiarox2002

  October 2010

  Happy birthday to Abby and good luck at the allergist MrsJayOK!

  QOTW: My mom hasn't always understood why we do what we do, but she doesn't really hassle me about it.  She thought that we should do CIO much earlier than we did, but was willing to watch Kate overnight a few times so that DH and I could get a chunk of sleep.  Glorious.  She also didn't like the idea of cosleeping, and said she wouldn't do it when she was watching Kate even though I suggested it.  Yeah, when I picked her up the next morning they were all in bed together.    The big one that she doesn't understand is that I don't want the TV on when Kate is over there.  They have an enormous TV and Kate stands in front of it mesmerized.  It's there house though and it doesn't happen very often so I've let it go.

  MIL (in fact all of the ILs) don't understand why I am picky about what Kate eats.  I don't mind her having a treat occasionally, but we hang out with them all the time.  I don't want Kate to think that she needs ice cream every night.  They think that I am neurotic and maybe I am, but I'm the mom.  As long as Kate doesn't know any better why do we need to offer her dessert all the time.  When she's older and is asking for it that's different, but for now let me limit her sugar.

  Update: I mailed off Kate's application for preschool for the next school year.  I know that it's an awesome school, but I'm not ready for her to be gone all day.    DH came out to take it to the mailbox and I was sitting on the couch crying. 

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• rssnlvr

  October 2010

  MrsRosie:

  MrsBeckO:

  If they disagree with something I've said or done, they turn to DD and say something like "Aw, your mom's worried about us giving you this whole chicken leg. You just tell her we did it with your daddy and he survived". UGH! My reaction is usually just to give DH the death stare until he speaks up. I really need to learn a better way of handling that sort of thing with them.

  BeckO - I would then say to Cam, "Aw, your grandma/pa hasn't figured out yet that you don't understand a word she's saying."

  

  Dear Bump: You suck.

  Report0 Reply
• cherylanne430

  October 2010

  I would like to be added

  Miles Anthony 8/21/10

  My parents are super awesome! They never intrude or give their opinion, they just support. DH's parents are good, too. His mom is just alot different than I am, and comes across to me as overbearing sometimes. But they DS alot and only want whats best for him, too. DH never complains about my parents, but if we disagree with something his mom is saying I just tell her this is what I'm doing and ignore what she says.

  He just turned 2mos old, so he is cooing and "talking" and smiling all the time! He sleeps from 8-6am so that is awesome He is incredible!!

  "height=200>

  Report0 Reply
• LonghornNAggie

  October 2010

  Add me!! 6/16/10

   

  Lyla is doing great, I went back to work last week and my mom watched her for the week. This week my MIL is watching her and I won't go into details or ranting... because I am thankful that she is here : ) It is going to be hard in a few weeks when I leave her with a nanny instead of a Grandmother, but I'm grateful I'm getting this "transition time" in!! She is back to sleeping through the night and I couldn't be more grateful for that relief!!!

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• ebat

  October 2010

  QQTW: both sets of parents are really good about understanding that we make the decisions. My mom is better about listening to why I'm doing something, though, whereas MIL goes on and on about what she thinks(how she thought I would give up on pumping(she's finally quit that though), and how she keeps asking when we are turning the carseat around.) Mymom however irritates me with many "you'll see" statements

  Update: my tiny baby walked this past weekend! I couldn't believe it. She's only done it one other time since then though. She's growing up so fast

  

  Report0 Reply
• 2H2L member

  October 2010

  Happy birthday to Abby and good luck at the allergist MrsJayOK! Qotw: my mother and ILs have still never met our DDs, non-issue there. My dad and grandparents have and would never dream of commenting on our parenting style, fortunately.
  
  update: I'm a serial blogger, so most if the new stuff is old news. New stuff-- ocho insists on sitting in a regular chair at the table and beams when she gets to bc she's so proud! Nove is scooting and rocking all the time and looks like she's just going to take off any day now.

  Blog

  Report0 Reply
• NoVA-grl

  October 2010

  Ok, I know I haven't been on the board much lately, but you guys already forgot about me?!?!?  ::sniff sniff::

  Question:  My mom is really good about respecting our wishes when it comes to C -- it was a little bit of a transition from when he was first born and I wanted ALL of her input, until now when we have figured things out for ourselves (for the most part).  But I know she still likes to feel 'needed' so I do still go to her for advice in some cases.  I am also extremely fortunate to have an awesome MIL who will always support whatever decisions we make with regards to C and parenting style.  And she will always ask us first before stepping in and doing anything.  My step-MIL is a different story, but she doesn't really count since we hardly see them.

  Update:  C is walking and running really well now (he has really only been officially walking for a little over a month).  He is definitely a 'talker' and has his own language.  It is really cute when he sits on the floor and 'reads' a book while turning the pages.  We are having fun at playgrounds, baby yoga, and story times.  He still likes to wake up early, but at least it is now around 7am instead of 6am (ugh!  that was rough).  And we are working on going to 1 nap instead of 2 -- he has been pretty good about it the past couple of days.  Basically we're just really enjoying this age!  So fun!
  

   

  Bloom Photography

  Report0 Reply
• labbielover07

  October 2010

  QOTW: We honestly don't have to deal with differences in opinion with my parents or DHs parents.  We all get along well, and nobody tries to tell us how to take care of DD.  We happily listen to their advice or ideas, and if we agree we do, if not then no big deal.

  DD is 4 weeks old today!  She is such a sweet good girl and we are having so much fun getting to know her!  It has been really helpful having my MIL here to help me and let me nap some during the day.  I successfully fed and changed DD at Target today... I was nervous, but we did it!   

  
  Our Family Blog

  Report0 Reply
• brideonjuly8 member

  October 2010

  QOTW- No one has really challenged me on any decisions I've made, not to my face anyway.  I have a feeling (from that awful letter my brothers ex sent my mom) that there are some things she hasn't agreed with, but she hasn't told me about them.  Breastfeeding S until he was 13 months old might have been one of them.

  Updates- Steven is a wonderful handful.  SO busy, always wants to be outside, loves his playscape in the backyard, still obsessed with Thomas the Tank, and about to be TWO!  I'm so sad he's growing up so fast, but every stage he gets to I think "No, this has to be the funnest age!" It just gets better and better. 

  Report0 Reply
• joyco

  October 2010

  QOTW: How do you handle differences of opinion with your parents or your ILs when it comes to your child? My parents are smart enough that they let me do the parenting.  These are my kids.  They had their chance.  Plus, so much has changed since my mom had my sister and I.  And my mom is BIG into old wives tales.   The only thing my MIL butts in about is religion.  And I don't see us agreeing w/ her any time soon...  My FIL doesn't say a word, he's also smart.  
   Also, please share an update on how your LO is doing. My guys are good, except for a 3am wake-up by Spencer SCREAMING his head off.  No amount of soothing would work, he finally ended up in bed w/ Jay and me and when Jay woke up just before 7a, so did Spencer.  UGHHH.  So, I'm super tired today, but the boys are getting to the point where I'm just an accessory to their play.  I'm just the gal who feeds them things they don't care to eat! Here's a question for the moms check-ins:What do you do when your child doesn't eat the meals you've prepared?  Do you offer them new stuff?  When do you call the meal "over"?  What tricks do you use to get them to eat something they've never liked before? (we're having eating issues, can you tell??)
  

  Report0 Reply
• MrsChristmas

  October 2010

  QOTW: My mom watches DD twice a week, and the few times we've had a difference of  opinion, she has respected my decision as the parent. DH's stepmom likes to make comments about how she did things or how she thinks things should be done, and I usually just ignore her. She lives out of state, so it's not really an issue. When we visit, she's never tried to pull anything, but I'm prepared to read her the riot act if she did... or make DH do it.

  Updates: Alessandra is going through an "I want to be treated like a baby" phase. She has been taking Jasper's paci if we leave it withing reach, and she has realized that when he cries, we offer it to him. So she cries about the littlest things, points at it, and expects us to give it to her. Then she cries more when we won't let her have it. She also tries to take the paci out of his mouth. I was really surprised that she was so interested in it. She hasn't had a paci since she was 6 months old. She's definitely having some jealousy issues, but she also really loves her brother. She gives him kisses and wants to hold him or be near him.

  Jasper is gaining weight really well, which is a relief since I know that can be an issue with babies with reflux. He's not sleeping that great still. During the day, I end up holding him most of the time because that's the only way he'll sleep longer than 20 minutes. He's still up every 1-2 hours at night most of the time, and not because he's hungry, he just wants to be held. His reflux isn't under control yet, and I plan to talk with the pedi more about it at his 1 month well-check next week.

  Life with two under two has been very challenging, to say the least. It's much harder than I imagined, and I knew it was going to be tough. There have been a lot of tears around here, but we're getting through one day at a time.

  

  Report0 Reply
• MrsBeckO member

  October 2010

  MrsChristmas:

  Life with two under two has been very challenging, to say the least. It's much harder than I imagined, and I knew it was going to be tough. There have been a lot of tears around here, but we're getting through one day at a time.

  ((hugs))

   

  
  
  The O'Baby Blog

  Report0 Reply
• HSartteach member

  October 2010

  QOTW:  My mom and I have differing of opinions on things like feeding behavior issues.  Other than that, she was cool with the CDs and other stuff.  Food is def. the biggest issue.  I don't know if my ILs say anything.  They don't say it to me, and if they say it to DH, he doesn't tell me about it.

  Update:  L is walking/running better and better everyday.  Nothing else really new.  He's been able to eat peanut butter and fish with no problems, so we are lucky.  

  GL to Adley tomorrow on the allergy test....and Happy Birthday to A!!!
  

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• NJinAustin member

  October 2010

  Inlaws... They all (mom, dad, sis in-law) live a mile down the road. I think they are tip toeing around giving too many opinions just yet. I had a few emotional/hormonal/protective-mother-bear-cub outbursts/snapping at them and SIL the first week DS was born. Not about parenting but, just weird passive aggressive actions/words surrounding baby stuff. Couldn't have predicted any of it but, now my guard is up about everything they say to me.

  Update: Thomas is 3 weeks and 2 days old today and the love of our lives! He must be going through a growth spurt because he'll nurse for over an hour for some feedings. He's so calm, easy to care for and is already cracking us up.
  

  

  Report0 Reply