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Austin Babies
Dear ____
Please, whine and moan with me.
Dear co-irker,
Why the hell do you just stand around in the kitchen waiting for someone to talk to? And when I walk in and you attack me with 20 questions, and I respond with simply, "Morning" - SHUT THE HELL UP. Take my makeup-less scowel and lack of response as a hint that I don't want to talk. I feel like I've been kicked in the crotch and I haven't slept in days. And further, I have zero desire to meet your grandson. I've met plenty of children before, and I currently only have any interest in meeting mine. Telling me about what a "cute" terror he is makes me cringe at the thought of you brining him into my office. I don't give a crap that he likes to play outside, or how loud he is, or how much energy he has. And yes a-hole, I'm eating this WHOLE bagel. I'm SO damn glad your daughter was "skinny" through all three of her pregnancies. Kiss my fat ass. Get the hell back to work.
Signed,
The pregnant lady who-for-the-record has lost 6 pounds.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear ____
And:
Dear other co-irkers,
What the hell are you doing in my cube? You're bitching about a company policy that went into affect 6 months ago? Don't care. You think my boss goes on vacation too much? Don't care. You heard so-and-so got a new car? Don't care. The light above your cube is out? Don't care. You're a freaking moron who needs to leave me the hell alone?! YES!
Grumpy pregnant lady.
(Seeing a trend here? I'm tired, I'm uncomfortable, and my corworkers are driving me crazy.)
Dear SLB,
You're 3/4 or the way there, YOU CAN DO IT!!!
? FCB
Dear APD,
After a long day, doing a Cops episode outside of my house until after 10pm, was not something I needed.
I understand and respect everything you do to protect us. If you could please notify the criminals to not cause you to do use the helicopter to circle our street and the land behind us for over an hour with a brightass light when we want to go to bed.
If it is true that you caught 3 of the 4 breaking in, I not sure such extreme, costly measures were warranted as one of those 3 will surely sing.
I understand I have no idea or knowledge of the incident, but this little bitching make me feel better.
Sincerely,
Appreciative, yet tired citizen.
Dear next-door-neighbors,
Do you have to slam your car doors all the time? I get that you work all hours, but to be slamming car doors and trunks, and having loud conversations in the open garage at 3 am is NOT okay. Especially on a regular basis.
I have had quite a few neighbors, but I cannot recall anyone who has been a whole family of frequent car door slammers. What have your cars done to you? Why do you open and close them allthedamn time? Really?!?!
Honestly,
Your next door neighbors.
p.s. you aren't the only neighbor I'm writing to, so don't feel special.
Dear XH-
I get that in your perfect world we would have remained friends. I understand that you still care about and respect me- I don't feel the same and don't know that I ever will. I could have done without the birthday card that I got in the mail yesterday. No disrespect meant- but it quickly made its way to the trash. Stop it already- you're engaged for chrissakes and I have a boyfriend. You've done your job, damage is done, now move on and take the next step without me in mind already!
Signed,
The ex-wifey!
Dear SLB-
How the heck did you get so far along already? Baby girl will be here very soon!
Signed,
KJ
Dear behind us neighbors,
Your dog, it barks. All the time. Especially when anyone goes into their backyards. It pisses everyone off. I know- everyone around me has told me the same. I also know that you know this for two reasons: 1. You call its name to stop barking. This is completely ineffective and you know it, because she does not stop barking. And 2. I have told you this. I said "Oh, you own M? She's the dog that barks at everyone, every time they go into their back yards" and you said "Yeah, she just loves to talk!" and I gave you a dirty look. Yes, I am a ***. I'd say I'm sorry, but really I'm not.
It is very unfortunate that our subdivision only allows wrought iron or masonry fences, because people like you are oblivious to respecting other people's space. It wouldn't bother me if she didn't freak the hell out anytime I walked into my backyard- I get that dogs bark, whatev- but I feel like this is my space. I have spent a significant amount of money and labor on landscaping the backyard, but you cannot force plants to grow, which will eventually provide privacy. Until then, I will continue (to be forced to ) tolerate your dog barking, followed by you yelling "M_! M_! Stop barking, M_!", followed by more barking until I leave my back yard.
Thanks for not caring,
FCB
Dear person that pulled out in front of me on the toll road access road this morning:
I'm sure you had a good reason for pulling into the lane I was in when you had TWO other lanes to choose from and I was the only car for miles around. I'm going 55, the speed limit, and you were going 10. Had I been chatting on my phone as intently as you were, we BOTH could have died. Thanks for the little scare to ensure that I was wide awake. I also greatly appreciate the fact that in the process of slamming on my brakes and swerving, I spilled boiling hot tea ALL OVER me. And most of the rest of my car. Please know that I took note of that company name plastered all over your truck and will not only make sure that no one I know will EVER use your services, your manager is receiving a nasty email from me. As a business owner, I want to know if my employees are total asshats, and I'm sure he does, too.
Thanks a million!
"There is a fine line between a princess and a witch...thinking you're one does NOT give you the right to act like the other." my grandmother
I'm so sorry, I imagine that was painful.
I need some hints, please.
forget the hints...in order to protect your Nesties/Bumpies I think the company should be outed.....hehe
You're right....what was I thinking??? Advantage Tree Serivce. Not that I've ever heard of them or have any need for a tree service in my cookie-cutter neighborhood with trees that are about 4 feet tall, but still. I DESPISE self-centered, distracted, bad drivers. One of my biggest pet peeves.
"There is a fine line between a princess and a witch...thinking you're one does NOT give you the right to act like the other." my grandmother
Dear Leafblower/Weedeater/ or whatever loud disruptive thing you are,
Where the hell are you coming from? It sounds like you are right outside my office window and yet I can't see anything up or down the street. If I cannot see you from my upstairs window, then you are quite far away and yet ridiculously loud. You suck.
No love,
Me
Dear cat,
You seem to have mistaken me for your jungle gym. Please correct this immediately.
Love. (Because, dammit you're cute even if you have managed to insert page breaks and random characters into this document that are proving to be impossible to correct.)
P.S. Stop eating my headphones.
Dear Austin,
Please get one of your fine companies to have a job opening that would be perfect for me and my experience. I'm tired of Dallas, even though we are getting and H&M next year. I'd give that up to move back to Austin.
Love you and miss you,
B.
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
::swoon::
the lady at the phoenix H&M told me they were opening 3 in texas next year, but she didn't know where. dallas, houston, and austin sound about right, no?
Dear ignorant person on Facebook,
Why do you find it okay to make derogatory comments about special needs children (i.e., making fun of the "short bus"? Would you make derogatory comments about race, gender, or other things that make people different from the norm?
Signed,
the oversensitive mom of an adorable special needs daughter
:Hugs: Some people are so ignorant, they are missing out on the beauty around them.
**the nestie formerly known as karen2508**
This. And I think she looks absolutely precious in her costume. And I've been reading your blog, and you definitely put her in very stylish splints (that's what you call them, right?). Too cute.
I never believe the rumors since they've been going around for years, but this one looks official. Finally!
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
Dear DH,
Why is it so hard for you to do the small things I ask you to do? If you agree to pick up something at the store, then I'm depending on you to do it. When I get home and it's not there, then that means I either have to get BACK out and go to the store because it's easier, quicker, and cheaper for me to do it. SO annoying. If you can't do it, then just tell me that in the first place.
Signed,
The lady who is just trying to have some butter on her Panera bread with dinner tonight
And PS APD (or whomever had the helicopter fly all through my tv show....seriously, some of us have no cable so we just get regular free tv over the air...you messed my signal all through the Good Wife...thanks.