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Baby shower dilemma

bam0219bam0219
in 2nd Trimester

I am having a hard time figuring out what I should do. One of my very close friends offered to throw me a shower the day I told her I was pregnant. We just started talking about a date and everything a week ago. Then tonight I went to my Grandma's house for dinner and she and my sister told me they want to throw me one in January. I told them I appreciate it, but my friend had already offered to throw one and they got a little upset about it. So my Grandma says, " I will just have mine here and invite MY side of the family to that one". I wanted to invite all my friends and family to the one my friend is throwing, I don't really like the thought of splitting it all up, I would like to celebrate with everyone. The thought of having it in January makes me a bit nervous also, since I am due in Feb and our family has a history of eager babies who like to come early.

So how should I handle this? Accept them both or let my Grandma and sister know we will be inviting everyone to the other one? I don't want to hurt anyones feelings and am very grateful for both offers.

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Re: Baby shower dilemma

  • hf08hf08 member
    I personally liked having smaller, seperate showers so I'd probably let them both do it while asking them to consider an earlier date.  But, that is me.  If you already set it up with your friend and really want one big shower it's worth at least another try at getting G'ma and sister to understand or to agree to host a joint shower.  Good luck!
    Expecting our 3rd little girl this New Year's!


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  • purpledawgypurpledawgy member
    I would accept both. I am having 3 showers and that's fine with me. It will be easier for me to actually spend time with people at smaller showers rather than one large one. If your baby happens to come early, baby can just attend the shower too! My sister had her shower after her son was born and it was fun to see the baby.
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  • kgabardykgabardy
    I would maybe see if they would agree to being 'joint hosts' with your friend. It would ease the stress off all of them, and help in a financial way. And letting them know your preferences as far as when a good time for you is, instead of in January, may help them to see your point. :)
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  • 6fsn6fsn

    I would accept both.  Keep them smaller so you have more time to spend with the guests.  Your friend may not want the financial burden of a huge shower and she may not want the stress of co-planning. 

    If baby comes early, baby comes early. 

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  • SheasSheas member
    Why can't the three of them plan a big one together?
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  • luvdv8luvdv8 member
    imagekdodge423:

    imagepurpledawgy:
    I would accept both. I am having 3 showers and that's fine with me. It will be easier for me to actually spend time with people at smaller showers rather than one large one. If your baby happens to come early, baby can just attend the shower too! My sister had her shower after her son was born and it was fun to see the baby.

    Nothing says fun like passing a newborn around to 30 people so it can get sick. Bad idea. And how many women want to sit though a baby shower 1-2 weeks post partum? Kind of a PITA if you are BFing.

    Sorry, but Grandma and sister should have spoken up sooner. You snooze, you lose.

    All of this- let your grandma know that it has already been planned and the family is going to the shower your friend is throwing. Let her know that she can throw something for baby when it's here and you're all settled in (not right away because, as mentioned, having to cart a LO around everywhere in the early days is awful- not to mention asking for everyone to get sick!)

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  • lapoulettelapoulette

    I've been so surprised on these boards reading about how many people are adamant about having only one (big) shower. Why?

    In my family, people always limit showers (bridal, baby, or otherwise) to one side of the family at a time. I will be having at least 2 showers, and I am really happy with that! Like pp's have said, I'm glad that I'll be able to spend more time with fewer people at each shower. Plus, the two sides of the family don't really know each other and to me that's awkward.

    Also, I have a giant family on both sides, and it would be wayyyy too much to ask one person to host (and pay for) all those people at once, I feel.

     It seems TOTALLY normal to me that your friend would host one shower for your friends and some family, and that your grandma would host another for her side of the family. Don't turn down either offer - personally I think that's rude.

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  • campbaby76campbaby76 member
    Let me tell you that recently I was subjected (as a guest) to a big shower which turned out to be the LONGEST shower on record.  The gift opening part lasted so long that the Mommy to be was visibly wilting.  As a guest I am pretty sure my eyes glazed over. I was thinking about it and would have as a guest appreciated short and sweet.  As a pregnant woman I definately would be willing to have a couple shorter showers.
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  • bam0219bam0219
    imagekdodge423:

    imagepurpledawgy:
    I would accept both. I am having 3 showers and that's fine with me. It will be easier for me to actually spend time with people at smaller showers rather than one large one. If your baby happens to come early, baby can just attend the shower too! My sister had her shower after her son was born and it was fun to see the baby.

    Nothing says fun like passing a newborn around to 30 people so it can get sick. Bad idea. And how many women want to sit though a baby shower 1-2 weeks post partum? Kind of a PITA if you are BFing.

    Sorry, but Grandma and sister should have spoken up sooner. You snooze, you lose.

     

    kdodge, I totally agree. I definetly do not want to have one post partum. My sister recently did that and she wishes she didn't.

    The reason I was thinking one shower would be better is that I didn't want my family or friend to go through all the stress of two showers when one would be fine. My guest list isn't huge or anything.

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  • purpledawgypurpledawgy member
    imagekdodge423:

    imagepurpledawgy:
    I would accept both. I am having 3 showers and that's fine with me. It will be easier for me to actually spend time with people at smaller showers rather than one large one. If your baby happens to come early, baby can just attend the shower too! My sister had her shower after her son was born and it was fun to see the baby.

    Nothing says fun like passing a newborn around to 30 people so it can get sick. Bad idea. And how many women want to sit though a baby shower 1-2 weeks post partum? Kind of a PITA if you are BFing.

    Sorry, but Grandma and sister should have spoken up sooner. You snooze, you lose.

     

     

    Well it worked just fine for my sister and the baby's going to be seeing lots of people from visitors anyway. Just another option. He was about 4-6 weeks old when she had the shower.

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