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School-Aged Children
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Afternoons are awful. Help!
I'm out of ideas and just looking for fresh insight/perspective or at least if anyone else can commiserate.
DS is just DONE by the end of the day. The afternoons are A-W-F-U-L. He gets off the bus in a good mood, but within 20-30 minutes, he's melting down over something every 5 minutes. He's fighting with his sister (they normally get along well), he's screaming at me, etc. This is NOT normal behavior for him the majority of the time; he is very well behaved at school and everywhere else, but the afternoons are a huge struggle.
I really think the root problem is that he is just exhausted, but he does not nap and hasn't since he was 2.5. He gets up at 6:15 for the day, we're out of the house at 6:45 and the first bell rings at 7:05 (school day starts at 7:15). So it's early to rise and he's there all day; gets off the bus at 2:30. From about 3 until DH gets home (6ish), it's just this awful behavior that I don't even recognize in my normally well-behaved child. I try to have him in bed by 7:30 if we're home and nothing else is going on. Realistically though, at least 3 nights a week, he's going to bed between 8:30 and 9.
He does get a (huge) snack as soon as he gets in b/c I know he's hungry. I've encouraged him to spend some quiet time in his room just so he can unwind away from his sister and other distractions. If he'll do that, it helps, but he often doesn't want to b/c DD and I "get to stay downstairs" and he feels isolated, like he's in trouble or something. He's not but I seriously think he needs some space.
I dunno, I'm just seriously spent and DONE with this behavior. I need help! Anybody have any fresh ideas? This will get better right?
Btw, he's in 1st grade this year and just turned 6. He was in all day K last year and it was pretty much the same thing. I'd hoped it'd be better this year, but it really hasn't.
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Re: Afternoons are awful. Help!
With that early of a start to his day, I think he need to be in bed earlier, 7:30 at the latest every day of the week. I would start wind down at 7 pm to help make that happen.
And, if he doesn't want to hang out upstairs, I would let him zone in front of the TV or reading a book with you for a bit when he gets home. You can try to make hanging out upstairs for some downtime a bit more attractive, maybe put something up there that he enjoys and wants to keep away from his sister, like his legos. Or, maybe start reading some longer chapter books with him and just sit down and read a chapter to him every day to help him recharge his battery.
We, too, are dealing with exhaustion at the end of the school day, especially closer to the end of the week.
I think the advice in the previous replies is pretty good. If I were in your situation, I'd try the following:
--let him veg out, but don't make him stay in his room. If there's a way he can have some "down" time with you and his sister without him picking a fight, that might work better.
--maybe what he needs instead of time spent sitting still, is a short period of vigorous large motor activity. Maybe a walk around the block, or some time on the swingset would actually help. I feel like one thing that's hard for my 6 y/o is that he spends so much of the school day being still and quiet. My son never particularly asks to go outside and run around, but when I make him, he usually feels a LOT better.
--I'd try different sizes/types of snacks. Maybe he needs protein, maybe carbs? Maybe he needs to drink more fluids?
Anyway, I hope things get better (for your household and mine!) It's no fun dealing with a cranky, worn out kid every evening!
He already has Legos (which he loves) and all his books in his room. Sometimes he's content up there, but most of the time he still wants to be downstairs with us even though it ends up in tears and frustration.
I would let him watch TV, but honestly, he'd sit there all afternoon if I let him and I don't. His behavior *afterwards* tends to be worse when he watches TV.
If we're home in the evenings (not at Cub Scouts or church), then we're winding down by 6:30-7 and he's asleep by 7:30. But I'd say there are realistically going to be 3 nights a week where that's not possible and he's in bed later. I do try to get him in bed as early as possible, but it's just not always realistic with our schedules.
He's starving when he gets home at the end of the day. They eat lunch at barely 11 and that's a long, full day. He's just hungry. I guess I don't see why eating a big snack would = awful behavior. He's worse if he doesn't eat b/c he's so hungry.
My kids eat a ton when they get home from school too. My mom has afternoon shift and she puts them in the backyard to run wild for an hour or so because if they are inside they go nuts. My kids are so good at school they need to blow off the energy and play. Especially my 2nd grader who is expected to sit and do homework at some point. We have swings in the backyard and a bunch of baseballs and their bikes and they go to town back there.
When my kids are behaving like little crazies, I tend to feed them dinner earlier and get the bedtime routine going a little sooner just incase.