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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
jennybeams
member
WWYD? Long
jennybeams
member
Ok, maybe I'm wrong, and I'm willing to admit that, but I'm wondering what other mom's would have done in my shoes.
I picked DD up from daycare on Tuesday. She was right in the middle of snack so I took off my shoes and staying for about 1/2 hour in the infant room with her. I noticed a new 4 month old (we'll call her #2). The afternoon girl said she was new that day. There is another 4 month old in there too (we'll call her #1.) #1 was being fed and #2 was fussing in her bouncey seat. I started talking to her and rocking the chair until the girl was done with #1. But then she went over an put #1 on a playmat, walked away, came back and played with her again. All the while #2 was now in hysterics. I felt so bad I scooped her up from the bouncy seat and held her. She calmed down instantly. It was a little weird to be holding a strangers child, but I was so furious that the girl wasn't doing anything for her and you could tell she was lonely and uncomfortable in a strange new place. I know they have to learn patience, but this made me and DH rethink our daycare strategy when the new baby comes.
Would you have picked the baby up?
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Re: WWYD? Long
That's a rough one I think. Maybe, the DC girl didn't come back to #2 because you were there rocking her? (Not that that's acceptable either, it's her job she should have come over) I think I would have asked first before picking the baby up, but I know I would have wanted too.
But I agree, I think I would reconsider your options when #2 gets here. GL
Chemical Pregnancy 10/5/10
BFP 2/7/11--m/c 2/12/11
TTD pics taken by knottie jen&louie
im honestly not sure if i would have or not. i think i would have had to be there. but i definitely would have said something to the girl. even if its like "oh this new little one seems so upset...does she need ____" just to get some sort of response from the girl to see if she would do anything.
I visit DD everyday for an hour at lunch, so I get to know the other babies very well. I don't pick them up, but I will bounce the seat, replace a binky or play with them. If I'm reading a story to DD, I include the other kids. So, much so that there's another little girl who cries when I leave. It does feel a little strange. Especially when I see the other babies' Moms and they don't even know me. I probably wouldn't pick one up again. But hopefully the provider got the message.
In terms of finding a new daycare....
The first daycare that DD attended, the babies were crying all the time and I thought it was normal. They're babies after all. Well, we switched, and I barely hear a baby cry for more than 30 seconds. The first daycare was so focused on paperwork, education and rules/regulations, that they didn't really spend that much time with the babies. At this new daycare, I don't get as much information on her daily sheet and she's not doing 'science' experiments, BUT they rock the babies that need it constantly. There's one 4 month old who is constantly bounced by foot in the bouncy seat, because it's the only thing that makes her happy.
I would not pick another baby up and rock them but I would probably say something like baby #2 your teacher will come rock you in a minute once she is done feeding baby #1 or something like that.
One morning at my daughter's DC one baby had this HUGE snot hanging out of her nose so I said something like Ava do you have a cold, can I get you a tissue which alerted her teacher (it was the way Ava was positioned looking at me hang Scarlett's bag up that her teacher didn't see the snot even though she was there interacting with all the babies).
The only time I touch a kid is if they are about to fall or if they are touching my daughter in a rough manner or if my daughter is touching that baby in a rough manner. In the last case I remove Scarlett's hand and show her a gentle touch. I think it would be weird if I walked in and another parent was holding my kid.
BFP #2: 11/16/11: M/C at 7 weeks
BFP #3: 03/24/12: C/P 03/28/12
BFP #4: 04/26/12: please be our baby
Tough call...
I would really want to pick the baby up but I would worry if the parents walked in. I don't think I would want some random stranger holding Kaitlyn...you know?
I think I would have asked the DC worker if it was okay first and then worry about the 'what if's' once they were to happen.
I would like to say that I wouldn't have picked the baby up, but I think it would depend on the situation. I would be really uncomfortable if I knew someone other than a caregiver picked up my child, especially if I didn't know them. I would've definitely asked the girl if she wanted me to get something or entertain the baby #1 so she could tend to #2.
No I wouldn't have picked her up. I talk to the kids all the time- they're too damn cute not to, and when one is crying I'll try to talk to him/her and calm her down if I see the teachers are with someone else. And it does happen in Sabrina's room as they are at capacity with babies. But I also talk with all of the teachers so if I see someone new and s/he's crying, I'll ask about it and then they will say, "Oh he's new" or "Oh she's refusing to eat because they're switching to whole milk" or whatever. There usually is a reason behind a crying child so if it disturbs me, you better believe I'll ask about it because I want to know that there is indeed a (good) reason.
click the pic (blog)
I don't know why this is affecting me so badly, but I wanted to cry when I read the OP. I know every baby can't be tended to 100% of the time, but it breaks my heart to think that DS or any baby in daycare could basically be ignored when they were obviously fussing and in need of attention.
In your position, I probably wouldn't have picked up the baby without asking first.
But I would have left there with a sick feeling in my stomach.
Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010
Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)
It is really hard to say what I would have done. So I think you can feel comfortable that you did the right thing in the situation. It's always hard for me to see any of the kids in DS's class cry or look like they need attention and are not getting it. At a minimum, I would have said something to the teacher.
As a parent, I would generally prefer if other people do not touch or pick up DS, but that's only because he has several food allergies and some environmental allergies (cats and dogs) and I'm worried about him reacting to something on their skin or clothes. However, if that was DS crying like that, I would want someone to pick him up rather than let him suffer in the bouncy. In that case, I would be willing to risk an eczema flare-up to have him comforted.
I truly think I would've picked the baby up also. Would it be my place to do so? No. But, if the parents walked in (even if they didn't I would probably contact them) I would explain in private that the DCP was not tending to the LO who was in hysterics and as a Mother I wanted to help. ITA with everything you did.