My eyes are swollen today

firefightersgal · October 2010

Last night was a disaster. I held it together all day, but as soon as the house got quiet, I lost it. Of course, my DH was already asleep, so when I woke him up to talk, he was not very supportive. I know he's hurting, too, and he deals in a much different way, but it hurts me even more the way he acts sometimes. I had to leave the house and went for a drive out in the country. I was/am angry at DH, God, my body...everything. When I got home, I was going to sleep on the couch, but I was so lonely. Even though I was beyond pissed at DH, I still needed his presence next to me. I slept fitfully and feel/look like a zombie today.

Sorry that I'm a whiny mess. IRL, I pretend to be a lot tougher than I actually am, so this is kind of my release. Thanks for all of your support. I really need it right now!

JulsW · October 2010

I am so sorry hun. That really sucks. IRL I do a lot of pretending also, I know how that is. I am so sorry. I don't really have anything that will make you feel better right now other than to offer a *shoulder*, an *ear*, and a *friend*.

MandaS08 · October 2010

I'm so sorry that you are so upset and feeling alone! I'm definitely thinking about you! hugs hugs hugs!

Kira98 · October 2010

Big big hugs. I have been thinking of you, and I am angry for you too. I'm sorry DH wasn't more supportive, that just makes it harder.

millejj1 · October 2010

Oh honey, I'm so very sorry! This sucks more than words can describe and we're here anytime you need us.

ravenorchid · October 2010

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Please use this board to vent as much as you need to. ((Huge Hugs))

mandy6418 · October 2010

:::HUGS:::

butterfly843 · October 2010

Sending big hugs your way. I usually go for a drive also

firefightersgal · October 2010

I should add that my DH did say a few things, but I had to drag it out of him. (He does NOT share his feelings). When I told him that I got AF, he said, "Well, at least we can say we tried," but I could tell that he was hurt by it, too. Then (as I was yelling at him for not being supportive), he said, "I just don't see that it is over. Maybe we just need to go a different direction." By that, he means adoption.

I'm completely willing to adopt, but I know that is a long, strenuous process and often very expensive. We make a very modest living, so I don't know how we could afford it. We want to look into private adoption, but the whole thing is super scary.

shouldbworkin · October 2010

((((hugs)))) I hate days/nights like those. So much going through your mind and you just can't turn it off. =(

I hope things get a little better with time. We're here for you.

Izabella22 · October 2010

So sorry you're having a tough time, its completely understandable though and I don't blame you for being angry at the world. I feel that way a lot too these days. Pretending to be tough is a drain, I know by the end of the work day I'm spent and I have to have a good cry on the drive home, and this is a great outlet, so just vent away my dear, if it helps you get through the day, well that's what we're here for. *BIG HUGS*

biddy53178 · October 2010

i know there is nothing i can say to make you feel better but i just wanted to know that i am sending good thoughts to you and lots of hugs---

cubsgirl13 · October 2010

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I feel like husbands just don't really know what to say in times like this. MH said a prayer for us the other night and part of it was that I could "relax" more though this process. Afterwards, I told him to never tell me "relax." It was sweet though, but I think they are just at a loss of things to say because they aren't the ones that have to check all the signs for O and then get AF. They just BD when you tell them to, that's their only job. Big hugs to you!!

lorlei13 · October 2010

I am in tears for you right now. {{BIG HUGS}}

stillbaking · October 2010

Oh sweetie, I've been thinking about you. I'm so sorry it was a rough night and that DH isn't more supportive. It's SO HARD when they don't open up with you and don't want to let you vent, I understand. (((HUGS)))

We're here for you, whenever you need.

camdenfaithful · October 2010

((((((HUGS))))))

I'm so sorry. I was definitely thinking of you yesterday. I'm sorry DH wasn't as supportive as you wanted him to be, but we're here if you need someone to talk to.

pinkforme · October 2010

I don't really have much to add except to say that I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope things begin to brighten up soon. ((((HUGS))))

Julie*Jules · October 2010

Im sorry. MH is the same way, he doesn't even discuss things with me, he tries to be the rock. It is tough. You have every right to be sad right now, just know that you are not making this decision without giving it a lot of thought. The struggle of this decision is very tough, but you know you will be very happy when you complete your classes. GL and I wish I could just hug you right now!

ScubaJenn23 · October 2010

We are here for you (((( BIG HUGS))))

HappyLaLa0914 · October 2010

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Big {{hugs}} to you.

ala_1220 · October 2010

I'm so sorry. It really sucks. Its even harder when you feel like your DH is not showing the same emotions. I think a lot of them are like that. They have to be the men, who are strong, but on the inside they are hurting too. I think it's hard for them to share that emotion too. Giant hugs to you. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

inlovewithB · October 2010

I am so sorry! After my d&c DH bought me an eye mask that you put in the freezer. It really helps with the swollen eyes. (((hugs)))

cutebride73 · October 2010

I am just so sorry that you are going through this. Adoption is certainly an option, but you are right it is not easy either. This whole thing just svcks!! ((((hugs))))

Shaka114 · October 2010

I am so so sorry for what you are going through right now. There is nothing to say that hasn't already been said, but know that you have tons of support, hugs, thoughts & prayers coming your way!

Shaka114 · October 2010

I am so so sorry for what you are going through right now. There is nothing to say that hasn't already been said, but know that you have tons of support, hugs, thoughts & prayers coming your way!

Temp774929562501329 · October 2010

so sorry. hugs to you!

psumel13 · October 2010

Im so sorry for you! I know its hard to hold it in all day, its just that we all need to release it somewhere! Hope you have a better day today and a restful sleep tonight!

Ann003 · October 2010

I'm so sorry you had such a rough night. You are not alone and we are here for you. I hope you and DH feel better soon.

HaleyCinTX · October 2010

Sorry for the rough night, and I can relate to always trying to be the "tough chick". When my MC happened, that day my DH's son (my Stepson who is 11) had a football game. My DH chose to go and leave me just hours after my MC to attend the football game.I was not happy about his choice, but did not have the energy to say anything to him then. Well a few nights ago (after some liquid courage) I chose to explain to him in so many words and tears that him leaving me alone that day hurt me to the core.

I know he never meant to hurt me, and feels bad, but that sadly is the difference between how men and women react/don't react in emotional situations.

Keep staying strong, and remember your DH loves you but sometimes they needs a little extra help from us to know what we need from them emotionaly.