Someone please tell me I'm way over reacting

JLPT830 · October 2010

I will readily admit that I am a germaphobe, especially about babies and especially since I've had my own. When DS was born in the middle of flu season we politely asked all our family members to have their flu shot and they all did. I've asked everyone again and my brother and SIL are pretty adamant that they don't want to get one. While I completely understand their personal decision not to get the vaccine, I feel I have a right to protect my newborn and am thinking about asking them not to come visit until she's a week or so old. Am I being a complete $itch about this? Do I just suck it up, hand them the hand sanitizer, and let them visit? I know I can't protect her from everything......

What would you do???

KristenBtobe · October 2010

I think as long as they don't have any symptoms of cold/flu/illness, and they wash and sanitize their hands, it's okay.

MrsMoher · October 2010

Considering the flu vaccine doesn't protect against ALL strains of flu, there's always a possibility. I would (and likely will in March when baby #2 arrives) request that people who are sick or show symptoms of being sick refrain from visiting.

Brougham7-15-06 · October 2010

KristenBtobe:
I think as long as they don't have any symptoms of cold/flu/illness, and they wash and sanitize their hands, it's okay.

This exactly!

Lyons_in_2007 · October 2010

I feel the same way you do, and I asked a similar question last Thursday (I think?). I asked my family and DH's family to get both the flu shot AND the DTaP vaccine/booster. Anyway, my feelings are:

No, you aren't overreacting. We, as parents, are responsible for advocating for the health of our children. This means different things to different parents; but nobody can discount your concerns (especially during flu season and in light of recent whooping cough outbreaks). They can make the decision as to whether or not they want to honor your wishes; but, if they don't, they shouldn't be surprised if they aren't welcome into your home (or the hospital) with open arms. They shouldn't expect to visit, and you shouldn't feel badly for that.
Sick people are oftentimes contagious prior to exhibiting symptoms, so I don't necessarily feel comfortable following the "as long as they don't seem sick, go ahead and let them visit" rule of thumb.
While I do understand that vaccines (including a flu shot) don't necessarily protect against all strains, I don't understand that as an argument AGAINST getting vaccinated, especially if it would aid in creating cocoon [family] immunity in the best interest of the infant. To me, that's like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun (okay, again...another extreme gun analogy; but you KWIM).

::steps off soapbox::

ETA: https://www.babycenter.com/0_vaccines-recommended-for-pregnant-women-moms-dads-and-other_10338729.bc?showAll=true

Brougham7-15-06 · October 2010

Lyons_in_2007:

I feel the same way you do, and I asked a similar question last Thursday (I think?). I asked my family and DH's family to get both the flu shot AND the DTaP vaccine/booster. Anyway, my feelings are:

No, you aren't overreacting. We, as parents, are responsible for advocating for the health of our children. This means different things to different parents; but nobody can discount your concerns (especially during flu season and in light of recent whooping cough outbreaks). They can make the decision as to whether or not they want to honor your wishes; but, if they don't, they shouldn't be surprised if they aren't welcome into your home (or the hospital) with open arms. They shouldn't expect to visit, and you shouldn't feel badly for that.

Sick people are oftentimes contagious prior to exhibiting symptoms, so I don't necessarily feel comfortable following the "as long as they don't seem sick, go ahead and let them visit" rule of thumb.

While I do understand that vaccines (including a flu shot) don't necessarily protect against all strains, I don't understand that as an argument AGAINST getting vaccinated, especially if it would aid in creating cocoon [family] immunity in the best interest of the infant. To me, that's like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun (okay, again...another extreme gun analogy; but you KWIM).
::steps off soapbox::

ETA: https://www.babycenter.com/0_vaccines-recommended-for-pregnant-women-moms-dads-and-other_10338729.bc?showAll=true

vaccinated or not, this could be the case for anyone who comes to visit...so if that is the case then no one should visit for fear of possible sickness that could pop up days later??

rachho930 · October 2010

I'm also due in January and I feel the same way you do. The only people I have asked to get the flu shot are my parents and immediate family and DH's immediate family, only because they will see him more often than my extended family. I feel that most of the people we are close to who will want to visit have enough common sense to know they shouldn't be around a newborn if they're sick. I'm also not afraid to ask any who visits to wash their hands before holding him either.

Meg41208 · October 2010

Brougham7-15-06:

vaccinated or not, this could be the case for anyone who comes to visit...so if that is the case then no one should visit for fear of possible sickness that could pop up days later??

Don't be obtuse. The flu can be prevented and kills babies a lot more often than the common cold does.

Brougham7-15-06 · October 2010

Meg41208:
Brougham7-15-06:

vaccinated or not, this could be the case for anyone who comes to visit...so if that is the case then no one should visit for fear of possible sickness that could pop up days later??

Don't be obtuse. The flu can be prevented and kills babies a lot more often than the common cold does.

It was not a response to get the shot or not and I am well aware it can be prevented...but in reality someone can come visit your kid today and be seemingly "healthy" and then turn up with a nasty illness tomorrow...you just never know what will happen vaccinated or not.

Lyons_in_2007 · October 2010

Brougham7-15-06:
Meg41208:
Brougham7-15-06:

vaccinated or not, this could be the case for anyone who comes to visit...so if that is the case then no one should visit for fear of possible sickness that could pop up days later??

Don't be obtuse. The flu can be prevented and kills babies a lot more often than the common cold does.

It was not a response to get the shot or not and I am well aware it can be prevented...but in reality someone can come visit your kid today and be seemingly "healthy" and then turn up with a nasty illness tomorrow...you just never know what will happen vaccinated or not.

Brougham - I'm not going to lie. You've lost me. Are you agreeing or disagreeing with what I've said?

Lucky_N_Love · October 2010

Since you prefaced your post I suppose I should preface my answer Stick out tongue

I am not a germaphobe at all. Yes I wash my hands but most thing don't freak me out if DD picks things up off the floor (probably why she has never really been sick) And I have never had a flu shot before You should read Lyons post from the other day because it had some really good answers as well. I didn't get a chance to respond but I remember Hannah having an answer I really liked. I think it is your right to protect your children however you see fit and I don't think anyone can judge that. I do think it is a little "big brother" like to make someone get a flu shot to see your child though. You could set up ground rules that you prefer only visitors who have had the shot or better yet just make comments to others like ?Oh my mom just went and got a flu shot so she doesn?t risk getting the baby sick? Also keep in mind just because someone has had the flu vaccine doesn't mean they aren?t carrying germs that can make baby sick. I wish we could protect them from everything. I would buys lots of hand sanitizer and tissues.

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