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I don't know why I am so upset over this (longish) EDIT: SAD

M.AmyM.Amy member
in Parenting after 35

Sorry I did not warn people this was a sad post.

I got confirmation today that my OB/GYN's 9 year old son died of cancer a few months ago.   I have been crying on and off since I heard.

At my 6 week postpartum check up last year he mentioned to me his son's cancer came back.  I will never forget what he said to me. He said that he had access to every medical advancement possible but he still could not save his son. 

My dr. was so wonderful during my pregnancy and did everything possible to make sure Matt and I came out of the birthing process healthy. I know there is not a lot of "fairness" in the world but how cruel can it be that a man whose job it is to bring babies into this world lost his son?

I am not sure what the circumstances are but he left the practice a few weeks ago.

I want to send him a letter letting him know how sorry I am.  Is that weird?  I would have to send it to the funeral home because I don't know his home address and the practice said they are not forwarding mail.

I am crying in my office as I write this. Man I am a mess!!!

 

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Re: I don't know why I am so upset over this (longish) EDIT: SAD

  • vanverthvanverth
    You are not weird.  The only other person to know us as intimately as our husband is our OB/GYN.  Write the letter or send a card.  I am sure that it will mean something to him. 
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  • daisydanadaisydana member

    Sit down and write the letter. If it's heartfelt, it will be cherished. Sorry this has you so upset. 

     

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  • steverstever member
    That's not weird, that's lovely. How horrible for that man and his family!

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  • DaisiesinmygardenDaisiesinmygarden member

    I agree with PPs, it is kind and thoughtful of you. Send him a note and let him know you are thinking of him at this terrible time for him and his family. I am sure it he will appreciate it. I think it will help you feel a little better to do what you can for him.

     

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  • carladilloncarladillon
    I think he would greatly appreciate your expression of sympathy. It is the love and prayers of others that help get us through difficult times like this. The ability to feel for the loss of others is part of what makes us human and what makes you a wonderful person.
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  • PeppernutPeppernut

    Oh, Amy, that is so sad!  I'm weepy too, and I didn't even know him.  

    Write it, send it, I think he would appreciate it. 

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  • dkaysdkays
    I agree with PP. Write a note and send it.  It will make you feel better.  It is not strange at all to feel this way. Life not being fair is a hard reality to deal with. Left Hug
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  • rsd12rsd12 member

    I would feel the same way, how sad!  I could not imagine losing a child & it always breaks my heart (just recently a friend of mine lost her nephew to SIDS - I cried).  I would send a note to my OB too. 

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  • itsmexineitsmexine
    Not weird at all. This man has had a large role in your life and I think it is great that you feel so much for him and his family.  I'm sure he'd be touched to know you are sorry for his loss. He would also be happy to know that he has made a difference in your life.   I don't think doctors are told that often enough.
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  • Puckchick07Puckchick07 member
    I think a heartfelt letter would be perfect!
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  • KristelRobinKristelRobin
    imageM.Amy:

    At my 6 week postpartum check up last year he mentioned to me his son's cancer came back.  I will never forget what he said to me. He said that he had access to every medical advancement possible but he still could not save his son. 

    My dr. was so wonderful during my pregnancy and did everything possible to make sure Matt and I came out of the birthing process healthy. I know there is not a lot of "fairness" in the world but how cruel can it be that a man whose job it is to bring babies into this world lost his son?

    This is just heartbreaking.  Of course you are upset, there is nothing wrong with that, it's just proof that you have a kind and caring heart.

    I honestly think your OB would really appreciate a card or letter from you.  Go with your instincts and send it.

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  • busybeabusybea
    It's just not fair, i've never understood or agreed on why children get sick and/or die...but that's another post.  Amy, I cried reading the first sentence of your post.  I truly now understand what it means when a mother/father says "I would die for my child."  How very thoughtful of you, I think that he would appreciate it very much if he received a card/letter from you.  See if you can get his home address through one of the nurses from his office or on the internet?
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  • mama.bearmama.bear

    I can not imagine the pain of losing a child.

    Forget the doctor/patient relationship. You are a parent and he is a parent. Your caring thoughts will be well received.

    ::going to kiss my sleeping babies right now::

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  • M.AmyM.Amy member

    imagebusybea:
    It's just not fair, i've never understood or agreed on why children get sick and/or die...but that's another post.  Amy, I cried reading the first sentence of your post.  I truly now understand what it means when a mother/father says "I would die for my child."  How very thoughtful of you, I think that he would appreciate it very much if he received a card/letter from you.  See if you can get his home address through one of the nurses from his office or on the internet?

    I am so sorry I didn't warn you in the title that the post was sad. I totally forgot to do that.

    I did speak with his former nurse (she is still working in the office) and she said she could not give out any personal information.

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  • KristelRobinKristelRobin
    imageM.Amy:

    imagebusybea:
    It's just not fair, i've never understood or agreed on why children get sick and/or die...but that's another post.  Amy, I cried reading the first sentence of your post.  I truly now understand what it means when a mother/father says "I would die for my child."  How very thoughtful of you, I think that he would appreciate it very much if he received a card/letter from you.  See if you can get his home address through one of the nurses from his office or on the internet?

    I am so sorry I didn't warn you in the title that the post was sad. I totally forgot to do that.

    I did speak with his former nurse (she is still working in the office) and she said she could not give out any personal information.

    I don't understand why they are being so unhelpful with this!  Even if they don't forward his mail as a general rule, the nurse could fill out the address and mail it for you, or they could forward just this letter/card considering what it's about...

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