- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
lilbit923
member
DH won't budge on the name..WWYD...
lilbit923
member
A very good friend of mine, Laura, is one of the strongest women I know. She has suffered 9 miscarriages, endometriosis, tubal pregnancies, adopting twin boys where only one boy survived at 6 months gestation, and finally had to give up her dream of carrying her own baby when her OB suggested it was time to have a hysterectomy as her body had been through too much. She has called me every time she learned she was pregnant and every time she lost them. She called me in the middle of the night when her sons were born 3 months early and the day to let me know Hunter had passed away. She's been there for me for the births of my children and to help me mourn in the ones I lost as well. Laura is very great friend.
I believe in giving children names that mean something, a name they can be proud of. I want, provided it's a girl, to name this baby Laura. I want her to know the lady she was named after, the strength the lady had to go on in the face of the hardest situations a mother can ever face and still be such a positive woman because of it.
DH won't agree at all, he hates the name. However, I've given no other thought to a second option for a girl's name. This feels like it's meant to be her name.
What would you do? Did your DH/SO disagree or hate a name you chose? What was your outcome?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH won't budge on the name..WWYD...
What about using Laura as a middle name? Honestly, I wouldn't want to give a child a name that my dh and I didn't both agreed on. He just might not like the name Laura - doesn't mean he doesn't care about your friend, ykwim?
DH and I have agreed on most of the names we discuss, so I am no help there.
However, I think it is very AWESOME that you want to do this and wish your H could see it the same way.
Is there any way you could use the name as a middle name? It still means a lot to have the middle name after somebody that means a lot to you.
Or, like pp said, what about another form of Laura? Change it up a little, but make it so it is obvious that is what you were going for. Lorelei, Lauren...
Your friend sounds like an amazing woman, and I really wish I knew someone like her.
maybe you can use laurel or lauren. something similar. and maybe try for a middle name!
good luck. such a sweet story!
what about using Lauren or Laurel or Laurie or Loralee? Is there another name he might consider?
And have you considered using the name as a middle instead?
Sometimes, I find with husbands, if you put the topic aside for awhile (considering you still have plenty of time) and revisit it in 10 weeks or so, he might come back around.
I think it is a sweet way to honor your friend. You might even be able to slip Loren in for a boy's middle name
DH is a stick in the mud. Grr. He won't say any names he likes but he sure shoots down the ones I want. I want "Charles" for a boy and "Laura" for a girl. If it's used as a middle name he won't refer to the child with it. He hates both my choices..."I know too many Chuck's all ready. I don't like the name Laura."
I'm pretty near the point where I am not giving any other suggestions. I haven't even mentioned ideas for a middle name yet. I would like to lock this down for names before delivery. I've told his Mom and Dad my opinions for names and all his Mom (being MIL) can suggest is for me to use the girl names she had picked out for her daughters if she had one. No thanks...I got it from here.
I know Laura never had the chance to meet her bio-babies. I'd like for her to be at the hospital, holding my daughter when I tell her I named "Laura" after her. She's been asking me if I chose any names yet. I hate lying to her but with DH's indecisiveness, I don't want to say something to her and hurt her feelings later.
(I thought about the option for Lauren but DH works with a chick with that name and I think she overshares her sexual experiences with DH too much. So nope on that name.)
The middle name I was thinking of was "Alice". I love the story of Alice Paul and Lucy Burns...the suffragists who fought for our right to vote. Iron Jawed Angels is one of my favorite movies. What those women went through to make sure our voices and those of our daughters could be heard for laws that we would have to follow, is amazing to me. Being that I am the first woman in my family (7 generations) to be a cop after being told I'd never be able to do it...I'd like my daughter to know her names came from some of the strongest women and be proud of it.
A name that is feminine but fearless. I would hope that my daughter would be proud to know who she was named after. Two women that faced horrible circumstances and made the best of it. I don't wish for her to endure anything horrible, but to know she can make the best of any situation no matter how hard it may seem.
Oooh good point. He has made no suggestions. So yep...point for me!!
I really think you and your DH need to decide on a name for your child together. If Laura isn't it, then maybe Laura isn't it. It would be a lovely tribute to your friend, but these names don't seem to be working for him. There's a lot of time yet for you to figure out a name for your child.
DH and I had a really difficult time coming up with a name for our child. Really, we didn't come up with a short list of names until about 38 weeks.
Rachel and Jeff Married 5.29.05
Jason is 8
Elizabeth is 6
Katherine is 18 months
I'm digging this right here!
DH and I have names we don't agree on, but even if I'm suggesting a family name and he hates it, I don't have the story behind it like you do. I hope your DH sucks it up and realizes how important this is to you and how important Laura is to your family and that he needs to come to terms with it.
GL!!!!! (((HUGS))) (and thanks for sharing your story!!)
I'll ease up for a month or so then bring it up again. I want to know this baby has a name before I deliver. No matter boy or girl. I'd like to know we've attached something to him/her other than it's a baby.
Are you going to find out what you are having at your big U/S? Or are you planning to be Team Green? If you are finding out, I would just wait a little bit, find out what you are having, and then try your name suggestion again (but be open to using it as a middle name).
I don't think that anyone should be bullied into a name for their child, despite your wonderful intentions (your friend really does sound like a remarkable person, btw). If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. Ask for his suggestions. Maybe after the big U/S he will have a few, or maybe he will reconsider his position on the name Laura.
FWIW, I am going though this with my DH. He is determined to name this child after his dad if it is a boy. Problem is, I hate his dad's name (and I'm not really a fan of my FIL in general). We fight about it all the time, like with did with DD up until the big u/s, and then it was a non-issue since we were having a girl. I absolutely hate that he keeps bringing it up that we are naming the baby after his dad when we aren't. You really need to come up with a name that you both like, and maybe should consider using Laura as a middle name even though that won't be the name she is called on a daily basis. I actually think your friend would probably be just as honored by a middle name.
Laura is a nice name, but this name story makes it wonderful. But I'm a fan of compromise - a name needs to be something that you both at least like.
So I see a few options (in no particular order)....
1) Work on him and the name Laura for a first name
2) Work on him and the name Laura for a middle name
3) Find a name related to the name, Laura:
https://www.behindthename.com/php/tree.php?name=laura
4) Find a name with the same meaning (Daphne is my personal favorite)
https://www.behindthename.com/php/search.php?nmd=md&terms=laurel
5) See what names your dear friend, Laura would love for a girl (usually I suggest this for older family members as a way to honor them, and this option really depends upon the people involved)
6) Use a name with same first letter:
https://www.behindthename.com/nm/l_f.php
Hope this helps!
Heavens to Murgatroyd Blog
Unofficial Baby Names Sticky Note: New and Old| Local Bumpie Website
When I was pregnant with my DS, my DH balked at all my name ideas until a few weeks before delivery, and wouldn't offer suggestions either. It turns out it had nothing to do with the names -- he just wasn't ready to name the baby yet, because it meant he did indeed have to become a father and he was still scared.
So a benefit of waiting a while is that your DH may be more ready to think of the baby as an actual person with a name.
No telling with him. When I was pregnant with Emma I had a list of names I loved and he shot every one down. Emphatically...NO! Then I said Emma and he said "Maybe" so I said...Emma is it! My SIL and I saw The Time Traveler's Wife and she and I loved the name 'Claire'. I didn't ask DH what he thought of it. He had been so indecisive and it drove me nuts. Emma Claire it was.
With this baby we are Team Green which I love. I want him to be able to walk out to the waiting room and shout whether he has a new son or daughter. We have 2 boys and a girl so this one, I don't mind waiting. But I like to be prepared as well. I like Charles but he doesn't. I wouldn't mind having a little boy named 'Charlie' running around. His Great Uncle is named Charles so there is some bond to the name.
I haven't thought of any other names for boys yet. DH thinks you wait till you see the baby's face and name them. This is where we disagree, as a mother I already have the bond to the baby and see the differences in personality than my other 2 children. This one is not as active as Connor and shares the similarity as Emma...quiet and laid back..for now.
If I knew more about where his mind was for names I think we'd be able to move forward. Some of the names he suggests he knows I would hate and he's messing with me on purpose. So for serious names? I have no idea what he would like.
i say let the issue sit for a little bit and when you do revisit, i would stress why naming the baby laura is so important to you.
he hasn't given any suggestions and it doesn't sound like he is dead set on a name so i would play the pregnancy and labor card, especially if either or both were hard on you. i know i have plans on trying it out if my husband doesn't come around on the name that i love.
BFP 11.1.12/EDD 7.7.13 MMC 12.4.12 D&E 12.10.12
BFP 3.25.13/EDD 11.29.13 MC 4.6.13
BFP 8.20.13 early MC 8.24.13
BFP 9.20.13/EDD 6.5.14 Hoping & Praying this is our Rainbow Baby