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Issue with DH

Another JenniferAnother Jennifer
in Attachment Parenting

DH is a great dad and we almost always in sync about how to raise DD.  But DH has started doing something that bothers me.  DD is a new walker so she does a lot of plopping on her little rear end.  Sometimes she'll whine a little bit when she falls but then she always gets going again.  I try to respond to any distress.  DH has started saying "faker" to her when she does this.  He says it in a playful way.  She doesn't know what "faker" means so doesn't know that it's negative.  But it bothers me.  It sounds like he is downplaying her distress but I honestly don't think he means it that way.  

I've tried hard not to be a lecturing wife.  I want him to learn how to be a dad in his own way.  I'm not one of those who tells my DH how to change a diaper, for example.  So I don't want to tell him not to do something.  But it bothers me because I think it's negative. 

How would you handle this with your DH?  

 

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Re: Issue with DH

  • RuthgersRuthgers
    I'd let him know the reasoning behind why it bothers you, and perhaps suggest something else to say.  My SIL and BIL would say "boom" and smile at her every time their daughter fell back on her bum, and pretty soon she picked up on it and started saying it every time she fell.
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  • erinkate23erinkate23
    Ditto PP.  DH said the same thing once, and I asked him to switch to "Ka-BOOM!"  DS thinks it's funnier anyway.
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  • MrsJJCMrsJJC
    imageAnother Jennifer:

    DH is a great dad and we almost always in sync about how to raise DD.  But DH has started doing something that bothers me.  DD is a new walker so she does a lot of plopping on her little rear end.  Sometimes she'll whine a little bit when she falls but then she always gets going again.  I try to respond to any distress.  DH has started saying "faker" to her when she does this.  He says it in a playful way.  She doesn't know what "faker" means so doesn't know that it's negative.  But it bothers me.  It sounds like he is downplaying her distress but I honestly don't think he means it that way.  

    I've tried hard not to be a lecturing wife.  I want him to learn how to be a dad in his own way.  I'm not one of those who tells my DH how to change a diaper, for example.  So I don't want to tell him not to do something.  But it bothers me because I think it's negative. 

    How would you handle this with your DH?  

     

    Just wanted to say I love your screen name ;-) Shockingly, I'm another Jennifer, too.

    And, I think the PPs have given you good advice. I would feel the same way as you do and I can appreciate wanting DH to find his own way of being a parent.  It's not always easy but I agree that it's worth the effort!  GL! 

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  • Lotte134Lotte134

    I can see why you would be upset, but I can also see what your DH is trying to say.  Like PP's I think talking to him about using a different word is the best option.  We always said, "Uh oh," when DS would plop down and then we'd all giggle. 

    I would also caution against rushing in to her right away all the time because she will take her cue from you.  If you act like it's no big deal than so will she, but if you are always right on top of her when she falls then she will be more apt to cry and make a big deal about it.  Of course if she's really hurt that's a different story entirely but she has a lot of plopping left to do so just a friendly word of warning not to set yourself for a big production each time.  Smile

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  • QuazelQuazel member

    I agree with people as well.  It does have a negative ring to it.  This might actually be a great example to set with DH, in a respectful way, of course.  It might help him think about that type of stuff early on.  It doesn't have to be a bad conversation at all.  GL!

    My brother is a big baseball fan and always says "Safe!" with the hand motions.  My nephew thinks it funny.

    We say "Ahhhhh, Boom!"  DS thinks that is funny.  If he looks like he truly might have hurt himself we ask if he would like a kiss. 

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