dumb meltdown, family related

HUrquiza · October 2010

OK so this is definitely dumb, but I just need to get it out of my system...

My brother is living in my mom's old house with my grandfather and has been since my mom moved to NJ w/ her bf.

This week my brother's friend moved in with them (what a bachelor pad! two 28 year olds and a 63 year old, WOO HOO! lol). Anyway, the friend moved into my old room. So my brother texts me today as follows:

Bro: Hey Heath, I'm going to be bringing a sh!tload of stuff up to your house this week sometime. Juice (his friend) moved in this week and we don't have room for all your stuff you left behind. And your art & art desk too. *NOTE: I left the stuff there b/c they have the space to store it, I don't, and no one was using the room at the time, so I figured it was ok*

Me: uh, ok... there's NO room at all in my house for extra stuff right now, what with the baby on the way and all.. we literally just got everything OUT and JUST got Haidyn (step son) into his new room, which was our only storage besides the attic. can the art desk wait? its really got no place to go here.

Bro: No dude, it can't stay here any longer. we don't want it and it can't stay.

Me: ummm... ok let me try to figure something out.

ARGH!! I've had this art desk since I was about 16, it was the LAST thing my parents bought me while they were still together (now divorced and re-married) and there is a lot of fond memories stored in that thing! Art was my passion before I got married and started a family - its the only bit of "pre-adult Heather" that I have left.

I know it sounds dumb (and I'm SURE this is all pregnancy hormones) but I really don't want to get rid of it! I don't have any storage, since we've already filled our attic to the brim with stuff we needed to store to make room for the baby and Haidyn's new room.

I'm really pissed that he can't just hold onto it for a little longer while I try and figure out what to do with it. He has room in his attic for it, but "doesn't want it there." He knows we've got LOTS to do to prep for the baby and him bringing a "sh!tload" of stuff for me to sort through at this point doesn't help. EPIC brother fail.

Vent over! thanks for reading this crap!

HUrquiza · October 2010

sylwill:
If this was me, this would be my reaction.

It's not his house, it's still your mom's house, right? So, she has the say in what stays and what he can throw out. I mean, does she even know his friend moved in? If your brother's just using the house to live there, you've got as much right to have your stuff stored there unless your mom was to say she needed to get it out.

But, I also understand you don't want him to throw it out either. Can you get your mom involved without it becoming a big situation? I don't know how I am just throwing things out there and seeing what sticks.

Yes she does know his friend moved in... actually she told me that yesterday before he even started with this crap.

I've thought about calling her, but I feel silly making an issue over it. I'd feel like I was telling on him! haha... The thing is, she kind of just left them the house to use as their own. I'm pretty sure they're making the payments now and everything, so I feel like he should be able to make these decisions.

I don't know... I'll just have to see what comes of it. Maybe put on some big girl panties and figure out whether I really want to keep it, or if it can be re-purposed to one of my younger cousins who are now getting into the whole "art scene"... they might be able to use it better than I can right now anyway!

Thanks! Yes

Mrslove78 · October 2010

Wow, tell your brother that his friend is going to have to rent you a storage unit since he's using your old room. Is this friend paying rent? If so, who's getting the rent? I'd guess it's your brother... then have your brother pay the storage cost.

Murdock12 · October 2010

I have to say that I'd be ticked. As long as it's still your mom's house, then your mom gets to say if it stays. I don't know if it's b/c my baby brother, God love him, is a bit of a freeloader but it rubs me the wrong way.

MrsTechie · October 2010

My first thought was, call mom.

I don't care if it feels like I'd be telling on him- it's her house. He's got the room in the attic and I'm sorry but, "I just don't want it there" is a bs reason for not having it there.

You've got enough to think about right now without trying to decide what to do with a desk that you might want to keep.

HUrquiza · October 2010

I still haven't figured out how to multiple-quote, sorry... lol...

Mrslove78: I'm not sure if the friend is paying rent. I haven't asked. I'd imagine he is paying rent. I'd love for them to pay storage, but I'd feel like a jerk asking/demanding. I'm way too nice sometimes. Embarrassed

TwinkandBubba:
I have to say that I'd be ticked. As long as it's still your mom's house, then your mom gets to say if it stays. I don't know if it's b/c my baby brother, God love him, is a bit of a freeloader but it rubs me the wrong way.

it technically is... as in, its under her name. But I think they're paying the mortgage.

HUrquiza · October 2010

MrsTechie:
My first thought was, call mom.

I don't care if it feels like I'd be telling on him- it's her house. He's got the room in the attic and I'm sorry but, "I just don't want it there" is a bs reason for not having it there.

You've got enough to think about right now without trying to decide what to do with a desk that you might want to keep.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO true. I hate when family puts you in a predicament at the worst possible time. mine ALWAYS does.

DragonflyBelle · October 2010

You could probably rent a small storage unit for around $30 a month and then you'd have it for other little things that come along with baby coming.

Sweets2005 · October 2010

I would tell him, sorry, but there is no room for it at your house and being that the house he is living in does not belong to him, that you will be leaving it right where it is since your mom said it was ok. Why should he get an entire house all to himself and you get nothing? You should at least get the small bit of storage space. Juice can go eff himself- who cares if he is crowded!

HUrquiza · October 2010

Sweets2005:
Juice can go eff himself- who cares if he is crowded!

HAHA! I might actually say that to him!! thanks!!

Fergie+1 · October 2010

To me, who pays doesn't matter- it's who's name is on the house that matters. (That's how legal matters are settled, right?) Call your mom and tell her that your brother wants to get rid of it, but you don't have the space- she can use her Mom Power and tell him to just put it in the attic. Bro can suck it up, and so can Juice.

trinadesrosiers · October 2010

I would totally text back and say "DUDE," ( haha you know to relate Smile ) "Tried to figure out where to put it, we just don't have the room. Mom was cool with me leaving it there until I had room for it, I don't yet and I don't want to sell it, sorry, you have more space than I do, You're gonna have to find room for it in your attic or something if you need to use my room."

You're brother sounds a little spoiled, and I would refer to it as "your room" If he gets the house you are still entitled to "your room" and if he needs it you are being nice by not putting up a fuss that some dude named "Juice" is dephiling it!

* oh and in addition, if he puts up a fight, I would go with "To bad, you have it easier than I do for space right now, I would love to have an extra room to rent out, you're gonna have to keep it there" - Get tough if you need to, you deserve it

LoA · October 2010

I would be very upset too (most likely due to hormones as well!)... chances are though, since this was all done through texting - your brother doesn't realize how much this is really upsetting you. I am not sure how close you two are, but if it were me - I would call him up and let the water works flow if need be while explaining your reasoning as you did in your post. I mean, he can't read your mind, to him its just a desk that happens to be in the way... and hopefully that will be enough to make him find some compassion with this and just find somewhere else to store it. Good luck Smile

HUrquiza · October 2010

trinadesrosiers:
I would totally text back and say "DUDE," ( haha you know to relate ) "Tried to figure out where to put it, we just don't have the room. Mom was cool with me leaving it there until I had room for it, I don't yet and I don't want to sell it, sorry, you have more space than I do, You're gonna have to find room for it in your attic or something if you need to use my room."

You're brother sounds a little spoiled, and I would refer to it as "your room" If he gets the house you are still entitled to "your room" and if he needs it you are being nice by not putting up a fuss that some dude named "Juice" is dephiling it! **VERY spoiled... he's 28 and has never left home. he's a total momma's boy...1st born, gets his way all the time!!

* oh and in addition, if he puts up a fight, I would go with "To bad, you have it easier than I do for space right now, I would love to have an extra room to rent out, you're gonna have to keep it there" - Get tough if you need to, you deserve it
LOVE it!!

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