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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
kiwi443
member
s/o second baby showers
kiwi443
member
My understanding (based on the outdated ettiquette thread) is that in certain areas it's common to have a shower for a second or third child. I've also noticed a bunch of people on here saying that they're getting rid of all their baby equipment, even if they plan to have another child down the road.
So, if you live in an area where second showers are common, are you more likely to get rid of your baby stuff between children?
J - 9/6/09
L and A - 1/17/12
This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o second baby showers
They aren't common in my family. But some have been know to through a "Sprinkle" instead of a full shower...(Usually in the case of a long time between babies or a baby of a different gender.)
I think each child is special but an infant isn't going to care if their car seat, crib, etc., were first used by their siblings. That seems pretty wasteful to me to think you need ALL new things for another baby.
My church does throw showers for every new baby but I think if it's your third, fourth, etc., especially if you already have that gender, you'll mostly get small gifts like diapers and wipes. To me it seems really strange to buy expensive big-ticket items for another baby if the parents already have/had them.
We did sell our Snugrides just b/c we aren't positive about having a third and wanted someone else to be able to use them well before they expired. Oh yes, and got rid of our bouncy seats just b/c they take up space. So if we have another baby, we will need new car seats, a single stroller (we don't own one), a bouncy seat, diapers, wipes, new pacis and bottle nipples, and if it's a girl we'll need clothes. We've got everything else. I really wouldn't expect a shower but if family and close friends want to buy us clothes (if it's a girl) and diapers or special keepsake items for the new baby, that's cool.
Even if I have a boy I'd probably get him a few outfits of his own--to wear home from the hospital and maybe for 6m and 1 year pics, but other than that I see nothing wrong with him using his brothers' clothes, swing, etc. until he's old enough to care. 
(I'm a third child myself.)
It just seems so wasteful, though, if you know a new baby is in the not-so-distant future, to get rid of perfectly good gear. And they use so much of that for so short a time. For me, even if second/third showers were OK (they're not, my mom would have a heart attack and my grandma would seriously turn over in her grave) I wouldn't want people buying things I already have.
But then, we're still considering a third and I just want to either have another baby so we can use and get rid of what we have now or not have one and get rid of it, because I'm so sick of it all taking up space. The thought of adding more to it makes me want to groan, lol.
I'm getting rid of my stuff because we don't plan to have another baby for a few more years and I hate storing stuff. But, I don't plan on people buying me the stuff to replace it.
ETA: 90% of my stuff was already used anyways and I gave it to other friends/relatives that are pregnant or donated it. Don't want people to think I'm being wasteful. lol
I didn't get rid of anything. I knew we wanted them close together and I chose everything gender neutral for that reason. BUT, we borrowed a lot of big toy items (bouncy chairs, bumbo, etc) from other people who now need them for children they are planning to have sooooooo...
I guess we'll still have some big stuff to buy, but nothing too major. I always say borrow and share what you can with friends.
I'm also not opposed to throwing my friends second showers though. I think every baby deserves to be celebrated, and I believe it's nice to help people by giving clothes and diapers. Hell - we all know how expensive that can get.
On the other hand, I DO NOT want a second shower because I know how many people feel about them and I would just feel like tons of people were grumbling behind my back about it.
We do Baby Showers for all the children, and if they are close, we usually ask the mother what she is going to need, like a double stroller, bedding, etc.
Personally, I don't know if we will have another baby, but I haven't got rid of anything, including clothes. If I get pregnant again I will use all the gears I already have, because they are unisex, and choose which clothes to keep.
We are keeping our big stuff, swing, jumperoo, travel system, etc., because we might have more kids. I'm not 100% sure yet, but I'd hate to have to replace it all.
My cousin who has a 18 month old, is pregnant now. She sold all of her baby stuff and is now complaining on facebook about it. She claims they planned this next baby after they decided they didn't want two. I'm sure she expects a large shower and lots of gifts too. Way to plan ahead.
Alot of people I know, have donated to Once Upon a Child. For me, the only items I have given away have been ds's carseat, swing, and an extra diaper bag and boppy. I didn't resell it, but I actually gave it to a family in need. Those are all items I will gladly replace, if we're ever blessed with another child. Especially the carseat. Everything else, I will put in storage. Once we decide to try again or get my tubes tied, I will make a final decision what to do with everything else.
My family does one shower. We do have a baby fairy though.. this is each week of the pregnancy a baby fairy drops off a gift. Each week is a different fairy.. it's sort of like secret santa at the end of the pregnancy you get a scrapbook presented to the family and new baby explaining who the gifts are from, how they were delivered and any fun messages from the gift giver/baby fairy! It's fun and you get a bunch of people involved.
Everyone I know with 2+ kids has had a shower for each child, I had never heard about only having showers for baby #1 until my mom mentioned it.
We sold our travel system to a friend because the car seat expiration date was pretty close to when we are planning to have baby #2, but otherwise we do have most the other stuff still. There are things that we would like to upgrade because we didn't care for them, but we are not expecting people to buy them for us. Other than a few "big" items we won't really need a whole lot.
They aren't common in my area.