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DS and sleep issues - long

mlc92404mlc92404
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

DS has been a disaster going to bed the last couple weeks and its just getting worse.  He wants someone to lay with him, which we have always done but it would be me lay with him till he was ready for me to go which was about 5-10 min at most.  Now he wants DH and I to take turns laying with him and whoever is there last he freaks out if we try to leave before he is asleep.  We are really trying to break this by both of us laying with him but leaving before he goes to sleep.  This results in his screaming and crying and calling for mommy and daddy.  He also has a hard time relaxing when we do lay with him...and we've tried pushing his beditme earlier and later and neither seem to work.

Also he has started waking up in the middle of the night.  At first it was once every few weeks then it was once a week now its every night.  Again, he used to let us just tuck him back in and he was ok after a couple min.  Now he freaks out if we try and leave before he is back asleep.....this has resulted in DH falling back asleep in DS's bed (DH knows we need to break this.  Problem is its best for him to go in with DS in the middle of the night because I'm up with the baby in the middle of the night.)  I dont want to not go in his room at all in the middle of the night for fear he will panic that we are gone or something (plus he screams at his door) but it seems just going in his room to tuck him back in only results in him screaming too.

We need help and dont know what to do at this point.  He's gotten to the point where he is up for the day between 6 and 7 (sometimes will come lay with me for a bit but doesnt go back to sleep), has been taking a longer nap, 3 hours or so (today was almost 4) because he is getting up so early, and we've tried everything with bed time.  It used to be between 8 and 830, we've tried making it a solid 8 and that didnt do any good then we tried 9 and that didnt do any good either.

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Re: DS and sleep issues - long

  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member

    We used a timer.  Every few days we knocked a minute off till we stopped laying in bed at all. 

    Sorry about the middle of the night wakings.  We don't deal with that much.  If he wakes up it is because he is scared and we go in.  We usually have to show him that everyone is asleep and that there is nothing to be scared about. 

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  • ameliahedlundameliahedlund

    I could have written this post tonight but I am literally too tired to include all the details. 

    We started out just like you and now are having to stay in the room until she falls asleep.  My only difference is that she wants only me, and it is getting old.

    I think one of the reasons they (my dd and your ds) are waking in the middle of the night is because they are half expecting to roll over and lazily grab for one of us.  I think it is confusing when she falls asleep and I am there only to roll over a few hours later and I am no longer there.

    I said I was going to break her of it over the long weekend and I am just simply too weak and tired. I give in WAY too easily.  

    on another note-Grandma babysat two nights in a row because we had a weekend thing (Friday and sat night) and she went down with no problems both nights.  She even slept through the night on Friday night for the first time in about two months.  

    I know what I need to do, but I swear, unless you have been through this you can not give any advice.  I also didn't want to post because I didn't want any "flames" for not putting my kid to bed "right". 

    I am going to check back in a little while and see what the solution to this horrible problem is..until then I am going to bathe before I have to go back in and lay with her again.

    zzzzzzzzzzz 

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  • ameliahedlundameliahedlund
    oh...and take a look at our tickers.  DD and DS are like one week apart, I wish we could blame this on some huge developmental thing like learning how to walk, getting molars, or better yet, starting to read.
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  • LukeAndAmandaLukeAndAmanda
    We just stopped dealing with middle of the night wakings. She was waking up 3-6 times a night, not needing a single thing. But now she's started with the "hold you" and "lay wif me" stuff, and I'm just doing my best to console her for a minute or two and leaving the room. Ferber was successful for us at 11 months, so I guess we're just doing a modified version of that now by not laying with her until she falls asleep.
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  • mlc92404mlc92404

    imageameliahedlund:
    oh...and take a look at our tickers.  DD and DS are like one week apart, I wish we could blame this on some huge developmental thing like learning how to walk, getting molars, or better yet, starting to read.

    Although I wish this on no one, I am glad someone can sympathize.  I see you are about 25 weeks....I understand why you are too tired to deal.  If you saw my other ticker I have a 5 week old as well, hence why I am tired.  We know we need to "fix" this and we are trying (although DH thinks we need to go cold turkey and I disagree).  My biggest concern is from time to time DH is out of town over night and those nights I can't lay with DS for a long time because the baby may wake up and its hard to hear him in DS's room.

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  • stromtobestromtobe
    You have my sympathy... My DS is 27 months and we went through this right after he turned two.  He is still in his crib and I was scared he would hurt himself if I left him in there screaming because he got so hysterical.  He seems to have just kind of gotten over it on his own.  He goes down really well for DH now- he just says "Dylan, it's dark out what does that mean?" and Dylan will say "nighty-night" and lay down.  He freaks out more when I put him down as he never wants me to leave, but all and all bedtime has gotten back to a reasonable routine again.  We have been having night waking issues- I think he is having bad dreams.  Most of the time we have been able to go in, give him a hug, and lay him back down but there have been some nights were he ends up sleeping in the guest room with one of us instead.
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  • EchowyspEchowysp member

    We're dealing with night wakings after he finally had started STTN at 17 months.  It's driving us crazy.  We also got into the habit of dh going in to sleep with him because we're so tired, esp, now with the baby here.  Every night we say we will stop it, but then I find the bed empty because dh went in to sleep with him.  

    I'm hoping once his molars are finally in, he won't wake anymore.

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  • kimby3679kimby3679
    DD was doing that for a while. The only thing that seemed to break it was just not going in there after she's been tucked in. The first night H went in to put her back in bed (she only wants me). When she relized that she wasn't going to get her way, she went back to bed (10-15 min of crying). When she wakes I pick her up and put her back in bed and leave. For a few nights she was crying and screaming for a while, but last night she put herself back to sleep! Good luck. i know how hard it it.
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  • mlc92404mlc92404

    imagekimby3679:
    DD was doing that for a while. The only thing that seemed to break it was just not going in there after she's been tucked in. The first night H went in to put her back in bed (she only wants me). When she relized that she wasn't going to get her way, she went back to bed (10-15 min of crying). When she wakes I pick her up and put her back in bed and leave. For a few nights she was crying and screaming for a while, but last night she put herself back to sleep! Good luck. i know how hard it it.

    We tried this last night....only went in once and only for a short time.  He proceeded to cry on and off (some times screaming) and banging at the door for close to 3 hours!!  DH did go in once more to try and get him to calm down and he didnt even have tears in his eyes.  He was just mad.

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  • Amymarie13Amymarie13 member
    i just saw this after i just posted something similar of my 2 year, 3 month old. Molars? Or new Baby?
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1792fc.aspx[/img][/url]
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