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minor freak out (vent)

alloboscallobosc member
in Cincinnati Babies

I am getting myself all ramped up for when LO arrives, logistically that is.

I know I've got weeks and weeks until it is actually here, but the situation is the MIL is now unemployed and it kinda has become the elephant in the room.  I know rationally (keyword there--rationally) it would probably make sense for her to be here when/before LO arrives to help with DS while we're at the hospital.  Then maybe stay the first night I'm home and leave.  However the woman doesn't really help (no cooking, barely driving, no cleaning, can't lift DS), she just kind of exists when she is here.  If she is here longer than when I am when I get home I'll go BSC.  But the fact she is off work is convenient and she'll want to visit at some point to see LO anyways.

I had a VERY hard time with DS and dealing with her, mostly through my own irrationalities, and had put most of those things aside, but now she has some personal issues that have brought them all to the forefront again.  DH is kinda in denial about how I was Post-PG but I really don't want to relive any of those feelings if I can help it.  Me and anxiety don't mix but can't seem to stay away from each other.

Sorry to vent, and it probably won't be the last on this subject.  ARGH!

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Re: minor freak out (vent)

  • teacherjessteacherjess member
    Given that there's obviously an uneasy history, I'm going to go with: no. If she were going to be helpful and you were on good terms with her, it'd be great for her to come and spend a lot of time with you after the baby is born. But given that that seems to not be the case, you need to have DH step up and just say that you want your time as a family when the baby comes and that you will call her for her help when you're ready. Invite her to come and stay for a night or two when you're comfortable. Honestly, though, the last thing you need when you're going to be dealing with a new LO and a toddler is another person in the house to essentially take care of.
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  • linzpinz14linzpinz14

    imageteacherjess:
    Given that there's obviously an uneasy history, I'm going to go with: no. If she were going to be helpful and you were on good terms with her, it'd be great for her to come and spend a lot of time with you after the baby is born. But given that that seems to not be the case, you need to have DH step up and just say that you want your time as a family when the baby comes and that you will call her for her help when you're ready. Invite her to come and stay for a night or two when you're comfortable. Honestly, though, the last thing you need when you're going to be dealing with a new LO and a toddler is another person in the house to essentially take care of.

    Exactly what teacherjess says.  Esp about having DH communicate with her.  It *kind-of* sounds like maybe he has a hard time talking to her about boundaries?  So I would make it VERY clear what you want him to say to her.  Be super strict at first, then if you are having an easy time with your new LO, you can always invite her to be around more...  :)

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