- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
Options
Frustrated and sad for SS
We went from having a great relationship with BM last year to not speaking to her at all. She got involved with this real piece of work at the begining of this year. SS's whole personality has changed since being around him. He has gone from a happy, well-mannered, well-behaved, joy of a kid to be around, to a grumpy, sad, angry little kid with a bad attitude. I know it has everything to do with his living situation with BM and jerk-wad.
We went to court early last month after a CPS investigation against BM and her boyfriend. It got us nowhere. We are back to the exact same schedule, having to share SS with BM every other day. It is terrible. This kind of living arrangement is really wearing on all of us and BM wont budge. My husband has 50% custody and the courts wont change that. I guess something really extreme is going to have to happen to get him out of there.
Now SS has brought to our attention that he has witnessed BM being abused by jerk-wad and that he was really scared. We call CPS and they do nothing. They go and question BM and jerk-wad and of course they both deny everything, saying that SS is lying about it all. I am just so frustrated with her right now. She lies under oath in court and they side with her. I don't get it. Is it just because my husband is male? You would think that when there is evidence of abuse, neglect, and domestic abuse in the house that they would at least consider getting us a better time-sharing schedule in place.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Frustrated and sad for SS
But is there actually proof? Keep on it and keep calling CPS or the police but you need something concrete so it does not look like you guys are making it up.
As for the better schedule, while I 100% agree with you that the schedule is insane and in no ones best interest, I can see why the court did not change it based on the accusations - they did not find the accusations to have grounds and if they did then you would not want a better schedule but rather more time period. I would talk to the teachers (not sure his age) and get him into counseling since they are mandated reporters and keep on things.
We have the pictures and the investigation report stating that BM and boyfriend were guilty of excessive physical punishment. She and boyfriend failed the drug test they were mandated to take and they are not complying with the substance abuse or counseling that was suggested for them by CPS. And yes, that is what I meant by better schedule, more time with us, period.
Oh and we went to drop him off at BM's house this morning at 9am per her request in the court order and nobody was there to receive him. We knocked on the door and waited for about fifteen minutes. We do not have a phone to reach her at since her and her boyfriend now share one, he does not let her talk to us on it.
Document that, too. Not sure if you can call the authorities and make sure it's written down you guys were there to drop him off and she didn't answer. Maybe, if you get a string of these situations and it's all documented, it'll help you with your case. Good luck!
I'm so sorry. The courts are so slow to do anything until there is actual harm to the child, which seems so backwards. It frustrates me to no end until you hear cases where the M or D accuse the other parent of abuse just to try and gain custody.
In our case, the dirtbag BF actually hit younger SS, had restraining orders from 3 women for DV, including BM, had arrests for assault, and still, once BM denied everything, CPS and the courts in two states declined to do anything.
ETA: I don't want this post to discourage you from fighting for SS! We tried every avenue we could - emergency hearings, calling CPS in our state and BM's state, restraining orders in both states - while the courts did nothing, BM got sick of the hassle. I'm not saying you won't find an agency or court who won't listen. Don't give up until your SS is safe, and don't feel so discouraged when the first 50 phone calls do nothing.