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February 2011 Moms
EmilyStL
member
questions for those of you planning natural births
EmilyStL
member
I've been reading up on childbirth, and while I'm still fairly sure that I do want an epidural, I sort of want to entertain the possibility of trying natural childbirth. I just had a few questions for people who are planning natural births, or who have gone natural in the past:
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth?
2. Where did you/will you give birth?
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth?
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon?
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who?
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not?
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support?
I know that's a lot but any info or opinions you could contribute would help lots! Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: questions for those of you planning natural births
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth? Because I felt my body could accomplish such a task. For all of human history women's bodies have been successfully delivering babies into the world med-free and I figured mine could too. Just like working toward any physically demanding goal (marathon running, mountain climbing, etc..I'm going to have to assume marathon running anyway, I'm not a runner
.) I felt incredibly proud and satisfied with my abilities after I delivered DS. Also, knowing that interventions such as epidurals, inductions, etc. lead to higher instances of c/s made me want to avoid them.
2. Where did you/will you give birth? I delivered in a hospital with a midwife and will be doing the same this time.
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? I took a birth class that wasn't just for med-free, but still helpful. Honestly the best thing I did for myself was read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" 3 times before labor. The first half of the book is filled with encouraging, you-can-do-this stories of med-free labor and the second half is her suggestions on getting through labor successfully and the history of child birth (why women are on their backs in hospitals, etc.) That book gave me everything I needed.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? Being active in labor was very helpful for me. Using an exercise ball, changing positions, pressing into door frames, etc. Visualization of riding each contraction like a wave and images of opening flowers were powerful as well. I realize I probably sound like a crazy person, but it helped.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? I didn't have a doula, just a midwife and my husband. Having a professional in the room who is entirely supportive and encouraging of med-free birth is incredibly important to me. If I had one nurse or dr. in there rolling their eyes at me for "wanting to get a medal for natural birth" I would've lost it. Before I switched to MW last time, I had a very natural-supportive OB (in fact, she delivered with the MW group!!) but I couldn't be guaranteed to have her, so I switched.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? Yes, and my birth story is written up in my bio if you're interested. As for why, see question #1.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!" Personally, I needed to go in there saying no medication. If I had gone in thinking maybe if it gets too bad I'll ask, I might not have made it after they broke my water. Everyone is different, though, and lots of women have made it through after hoping they could. There are also lots of women on the Natural Birth board who had epi's last time and say "I totally could've done it if I realized how close I was to delivering. This time I'm not getting an epi"
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? He was very supportive of me from the get-go and became even more supportive after I read "Ina May's Guide" to him. I know he would've been supportive of me whatever I chose.
A possibility was born the day you were born and will live as long as you live.
1. Same as pp. I was really motivated to see if I could do it. I was also afraid of one intervention leading to another, etc. (not that I judge anyone on earth for getting interventions!).
2. I gave birth in a hospital with a midwife. This time it will be with an OB in a hospital because my insurance changed, but I hope to be able to do it again
3. I read a lot of natural birth books. The Ina May one is good, there's another one about a journey to motherhood, I think, that is just stories of women's natural births. I also just took the generic child-birth class provided by the hospital and thought it was really good.
4. For pain relief, I quickly found that if I could stand up and rock back and forth and breathe, I could get through each contraction okay. When I had to be sitting, each contraction was so much worse!! So we convinced the labor nurse to let me stand next to the bed while they kept the fetal monitor on since his heartrate dropped for a few seconds.
5. No doula, just DH and I will do the same again. He was awesome.
6. Yes, doing it again hopefully!
7. For me, I had to be pretty committed to the idea before going in there. Everyone is different, and you may find that it's more bearable than you thought or more difficult than you thought so that changes things. But for me, I was pretty set on it going in to labor.
8. Yes, very supportive from the beginning. He would have supported anything, though. But I think he was incredibly proud that I was able to do it
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth? I just want to see if I can do it. I'm like you, going to try going natural, if it doesn't work out- hand me the epi. I won't be disappointed either way.
2. Where did you/will you give birth? Hospital
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? Does watching 16 & Pregnant count as training? I'll take a childbirth class, but not sure how helpful that will be. Most of the books cover labor/delivery.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? Back rubs, different positions, ect.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? No doula, DH will be the only non medical staff there to help support me.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? Never gotten this far before.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!" I'm on the fence, I think lots of people go in that way.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? He just goes with the flow, whatever I want, really.
-m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
Beautiful daughter born February 2011
**Ultimate TTCALer 2009**
I had a 'natural' birth with my son and it was such an amazing experience. I plan on doing it again if I have a similar labor. My water broke at midnight. I had a dr. appt at 9am and that confirmed it- I was having contractions but not too close together. After the exam things were jumpstarted it seems and active labor began. We got to the hospital at noon and I was 4cm dilated. By 1:15 I was fully dilated and ready to push and B was born at 1:42. It was FAST. I went in wanting to go natural, but open minded to an epidural, and at one point asked for it, but then they checked me and I was at 9 and I said nevermind- I thought I had hours upon hours when I asked and when it was clear that it was so hard b/c it was so fast, I went back to the natural birth plan and delivered that way. We did hire a doula and she helped us prepare- however she never made it on time for the birth- got there about 20 minutes after the fact. We are not going to get one again since we made it through without last time. I had wanted to go natural for the freedom of walking around and moving during labor and b/c the epidural scares the crap out of me. The idea of being stuck in the bed didn't appeal to me. And seriously- I am scared of needles like that. I delivered in a hospital with my regular OB (I was so happy she was on call that day). The doula went through some techniques and such with us- but nothing really prepared me and it was my doctor who got me calm & focused b/c I was a yeller. The hour I went from 4-10 was rough, hard hard contractions with almost no time between them. I didn't do any breathing technique classes or anything. We had a yoga ball and I was going to shower, etc and all sorts of pain relief- but things were so fast there just wasn't time. My husband was completely on board with whatever I wanted- his view was my body, my choice and his role was to be to help me through it however he could.
good luck!
Proud mama to a boys- 6/17/09 - a girl 2/23/11- and a boy 8/20/12
2. Where did you/will you give birth? my 1st and 2nd babies i delived at a hospital
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? i read books but did not attend child birth classes. i figured my body would go on auto pilot when it was time, i trust my body over a teacher.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? i focused on breathing and watching the monitors showing my contraction, hey, it cant last forever. i would also bounce on a birthing ball and walk.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? no doula, just hubby
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? i did natural both times before so i know i can handle it.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
you may have a birth plan until the min you walk into the labor room and everything may change. dont stress on it, your body will let you know when its time and what it needs.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? he didnt mind either way, he actually thought i was crazy not having meds. but he was supportive either way
1. I have read a lot on this and my answer could go on for days, so this is actually the short answer. Here for one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auVmnvwNUOE Second, there are things I have read that your baby will know your voice when it comes out. If you hold it ten inches from your face the first half hour its born it will imprint on your face smell etc. This skin to skin contact immediately, breast feeding immediately, and imprinting has shown to increase bonding, oxytocin production, aid in easier breast feeding, reduce possibility of post pardum etc. When women are PIT'd they stop producing their natural oxytocin which is their love/bonding hormone. All the medical interactions fight against the natural necessary bonding between a baby and mother (not that you can't bond if you do a medical birth). Also, I am doing it cause I know I can handle it and because it is important to me to do what is healthiest for my baby and I feel like a natural child birth, for me, is the healthiest thing I can do.
2. A hospital
3. Meeting with Doulas this week. One I spoke to on the phone said relaxation techniques don't all work the same for all people. People take to different techniques differently. So, I am going to wait to see what the doula I hire recommends
4. breathing, meditation, relaxation, positioning.
5. Yes. For me, I feel like, what does my husband know about childbirth, or a woman's body. NOTHING. Plus, he is going to be going through his own emotions, fear, excitement, etc. It is a lot of responsibility and pressure to put being my doula on top of it, and I want him to relax and enjoy the experience.
6. No.
7. I know myself, I need to be committed fully to something, once I make up my mind, there is no question and no going back. No woman has ever died only from the pain of childbirth. It is something that is empowering and beautiful, and we all can do it. It is just believing in yourself. And knowledge too, learning about transition, so you can be prepared for it is very important.
8. He leaves it all up to me. It isn't him having to go through it, so it is totally up to me.
Also, check out the natural birth board, it is really helpful.
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth? With my first it was kind of to see if I could do it then it became about not wanting my baby to get the effect of the epi.
2. Where did you/will you give birth? First was hospital 2nd was birth center and I plan to do the BC again this time
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? We took the Bradley series with our first
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? Different positions and warm tub/shower
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? With didn't with the first 2, but considering it for this one
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? Yes and Absolutely! I know I can do it and the experience is amazing IMO. I'm someone who cares about the experience of birth. Some don't care about it and that's totally fine I'm just not that person.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
I think it depends on the person. I'm not one who can straddle the fence. When I was pg with my first I told people that I would get the epi if I needed it because I was sick of hearing "oh you just wait until you are in labor then you will be begging for it" but I knew in my mind there was no way I was getting it unless I had to have a c-section. Doesn't mean at the end I wasn't telling DH I needed one
but by that point I was ready to push anyway.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? He was fine with whatever I wanted to do, but thought I was nuts for wanting to experience pain when I could have the epi. After our first Bradley class he told me "I get it"
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth? because i know so many women who have and I know I can do it too.
2. Where did you/will you give birth? I will be giving birth at my MW's birth center.
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? I am reading lots of books and talking to women who have had kids.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? The bath!
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? I am not hiring one. I have a close friend who is going to be my doula. My DH will be there too, but I want someone who has been through it before as well.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? first one.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
I guess you could, but most people who do that end up taking the meds.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? My husband didnt really have much say in it, honestly. I knew I was going to go with MW because I know her and I didnt want some stranger. He knows what I want is best for us.
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth? My mother, grandmother, and probably every woman in my family before did it, so I knew I could. I wanted to do everything I could to reduce my chances of a c-section or other complications. And part of me wanted the challenge, like running a marathon.
2. Where did you/will you give birth? In a hospital with an OB and doula.
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth? I took a 6 week course at the hospital (and didn't learn anything, but it was reassuring to know that I knew that stuff already), and read a bunch of books. Ina May's Guide to childbirth was good for building confidence, and Dr Sears Birth Book was good. I also read a book by Bradley which didn't impress me, and another book that I wouldn't reccomend either.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon? I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the ceiling, walls, and floor. I didn't want anyone to touch me or talk to me. I just concentrated on relaxing. I had planned for massages, music, different positions, etc, but I didn't want any of that when it came down to it.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who? I hired a doula because I was afraid of getting an unsupportive nurse. My doctor was supportive of the doula, and it turned out that I had a wonderful nurse. Since I was internally focused the doula didn't end up doing much other than talking with DH, but it was reassuring to know she was there. My mother just stresses me out, and I didn't have any friends who had done natural births themselves who could support me. This time I won't have a doula because DH and I have been through it once before and I think we can handle it on our own this time.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not? Yes, I had a wonderful birth experience and I'd like to repeat that experience.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!" I think that if you're on the fence about it, you'll end up getting pain meds. You really need to be committed to a natural birth to stay strong when it hurts and you start to doubt yourself. I've never heard anyone say that the pain was less than they expected. It really hurts and you get tired.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support? DH was supportive all along, he doesn't like taking medication in general, so he would have chosen natural if it was him. If your DH is not supportive, you need to get him on board because you need to have someone there to stay strong when you have moments of weakness.
Good luck!
Thanks for your replies and stories, everyone. They really helped. I guess my biggest reasons for wanting to do it naturally are 1) I don't want to feel woozy or out of it from the meds on such a momentous occasion. I also don't want the baby's mood to be affected. 2) I'm afraid one thing will lead to another: first it's the epidural, then it's the forceps/vacuum extractor or a c-section. I also just want to see if I can do it! My mom had an epidural with me but went natural with my brother and she said it was SO much better.
As for my husband, it's not that I couldn't get him on board, but when I asked him he said he thinks I should just get the epidural. I think he's just intimidated by the pain--he doesn't want to see me in pain, and doesn't think I should be if I don't have to. If I decide it's what I really want, though, he'll be ok with it. I just want him to be comfortable with it because he would be my main support person.
Thanks again. I'm just going to keep reading up on the pros and cons and asking lots of questions.
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth?
My decision has evolved quite a bit. I have already had 2 deliveries with pitocin and epidurals. I also tore and had episiotomies with both. I knew that the cuts and tears were the result of being numb down there and pushing too hard and wanted to avoid that at all costs this time around, which of course led me to a med-free option. Since that point, I have done hours of research each day and feel so confident and strong about my decision to go natural.
2. Where did you/will you give birth?
As I mentioned, 2 previously in the hospital, very "typical" deliveries.
I'm currently planning a home water birth. I would suggest you watch "The Business of Being Born". It made a dramatic impact on my decision as well.
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth?
I haven't taken any classes or formal training, but plan on reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, since I've heard that this book is an absolute must-read for anyone even considering going natural.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon?
See above.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who?
I wasn't planning on hiring a doula, since DH will be there, but I feel that support from a woman who knows what I'm going through will be beneficial to not only me (of course) but to DH as well.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not?
This will be my first, but I am so excited about it. I'm not nervous or afraid about it in the slightest bit and feel pretty sure I will want to do it again.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
I think it's dangerous to go into labor without knowing things can go differently than you hoped/planned. You don't want to be so dead-set on one birth plan, only to have it ruined and be disappointed/depressed/devastated about your birth experience because you weren't mentally prepared for possible changes.
That said, I also feel that if you go into thinking "Well, pain meds are always an option" that your rate of successfully going natural is severely reduced. In my case, pain meds won't be an option since I will be home. Since they are much more readily available (and constantly being pushed on you by docs and nurses) you may not be as strong in refusing them if you go in with the "whatever happens, happens" attitude.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support?
Luckily, in my case, DH was on board immediately. He was actually surprised I hadn't gone natural with the first 2 because he feels very confident that I can do this with no problems. It was been very helpful in my resolve to go through with it. I'm very much looking forward to wearing my "Natural Birth" badge, even if it isn't real
Good luck with whatever you decide. Just remember that childbirth is a natural event in a woman's life, not a medical "condition" that needs intervention. Just my 2 cents.
1. Why did you/are you choosing natural birth?
I grew up with my mom telling stories about her med-free childbirths. Regladless of these inspiring stories (I truthfully thought she was nuts!), I was terrified of birth until a Women's Studies professor in college turned me onto a book writen by a college professor about her journey through childbirth. That book led me to Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery (this was before she wrote her Guide to Childbirth). From then on I was hooked. For me (and this is just FOR ME!), it's a women-power, right-of-passage, type of thing. I've been looking forward to this experience for many many years now.
2. Where did you/will you give birth?
I'll be giving birth with a midwife in a natural-childbirth friendly hospital. I would prefer a homebirth but they are not easy in my state.
3. What kind of training are you having/did you have to prepare for natural birth?
I've been reading on the subject for years. I've attended the training needed to be a certified Doula (although I was unable to attend my births because of my day job). And right now my husband and I are taking a HypnoBabies class.
4. What kinds of pain relieving techniques will you/did you rely upon?
I am open to, and aware of a whole host of techniques (position changes, water, walking, etc.), but I hope that utilizing the hypnosis and deep relaxation I am spending lots of time practicing will allow me to stay out of my body's way and just let it do its thing.
5. Did you/will you hire a doula? If not, will you have a support person besides your husband? Who?
I definitely looked into it! And would highly recommend it! However, we just don't have the budget for it. Additionally, knowing that my instictual reaction to stress and discomfort is to withdrawl, I expect to be very inwardly focused. My husband is open to anything I ask him to do but his main focus will be my "hypno-guardian" as it's called. He'll be there to stand guard and make sure I'm safe (no one is trying to do anything to me, nursing aren't trying to talk to me during a pressure wave/contraction, etc.) so I don't have to worry about it. My mom will be at the hospital, but not in the room, in the event that I really do need her.
6. Have you had natural childbirth in the past? If so are you going to do it again? Why or why not?
This is our first.
7. Do you think someone can "straddle the fence" on this issue before going into labor? Like if my attitude is, "I'm going to try to get through labor naturally, but if I can't do it I'll get the meds" would you say I have a decent chance of making it through? Or does a person's resolve need to be stronger from the outset: "no way in hell am I having any pain medications!"
Most of the people I have talked to/read stories of who had this attitude, ended up getting the epi (said totally judgement free!). Going med-free is very against the grain in our society and I think it takes a real committment. HOWEVER, my attitude going in is that I will make informed decisions. In the event that I am faced with an unexpected event, I have done enough research to feel confident that this is in fact a true instance where interventions are actually needed and I will be glad they were there to save my life or the life of my child, if a touch dissapointed. I also have faith in my MW that if she says we need to start talking about interventions, I know that we have done everything we can to let my body do this thing on its own.
8. Is/was your husband on board from the get-go? If not, how did you get his support?
DH has always been firmly on the your-body-your-choice team. However, he asked early on if they would give him my epi if I don't end up using it. :-) I know that this is probably not the decision he would make if he were in my position but he is whole heartedly supporting me in the decision I have made.
IMO having a "higher theshold" doesn't mean a thing in this particular instance. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain. But who wants pain that is for no purpose other than the pain? Going through the "pain" of childbirth is because there is a glorious end result. Pain with a purpose is a completely different thing and far more manageable (I hope) than pain with no purpose. Does that make sense? It did in my head, not sure if it came out right.
If you guys are even checking back on this, check out the link I posted, get some books and read the necessary passages to your husband, and if he will sit through a movie watch the business of being born. All of those are very persuasive materials.
After that he should be able to see why natural birth is a good choice (warning that the business of being born is pretty biased, but it has a lot of good things to pull out of it). Also read the natural birth board, especially the birth stories. Many times women talk about how important it was to have a natural child birth and their experiences when they didn't. They talk about the empowering nature and the high after birth, the great bonding because they and the baby weren't all drugged up, etc.