When will/did you say,"use your words "?

jordysmom09 · October 2010

DH. just started saying this to J. I was a bit bothered so I said that he can't use his words if he doesn't gave the word for that thing yet. Where will your child be verbally before you start saying that? J has quite a few words but not enough where everything is gonna start coming out in sentences!!

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2010

When DS starts pointing to things without saying the words when we know he knows the word for it. If he doesn't know what the word is, we wouldn't expect him to know it...for now we say the word then say "Would you like the ______?" And DS nods and smiles/laughs when we get it right. Then we reinforce the word by saying "Ok you want the _____, here you go"

DH does sometimes seems to expect DS to know/act/understand things a 1 year old probably wouldn't know yet..he gets frustrated and seems to think I'm too soft on DS (mostly after a long work day heh).. I think it might be a husband thing, especially if he doesn't see the little guy very much during the day since he's out at work?

jordysmom09 · October 2010

GoombaGirl_79:
When DS starts pointing to things without saying the words when we know he knows the word for it. If he doesn't know what the word is, we wouldn't expect him to know it...for now we say the word then say "Would you like the ______?" And DS nods and smiles/laughs when we get it right. Then we reinforce the word by saying "Ok you want the _____, here you go"
DH does sometimes seems to expect DS to know/act/understand things a 1 year old probably wouldn't know yet..he gets frustrated and seems to think I'm too soft on DS (mostly after a long work day heh).. I think it might be a husband thing, especially if he doesn't see the little guy very much during the day since he's out at work?

Yea that' sounds right. I was just annoyed with his whole crappy attitude today and him trying to make J say words he doesn't know yet pissed me off. But anyway yes I do the same thing as far as reinforcing the words. I feel like a parrot sometimes repeating things so much! But it's working so parrot it is!

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2010

Haha well yep they always say repetition is the key! Big Smile

Yeah I get annoyed with DH sometimes if he's in a grumpy mood, he turns into "hardass dad" as he says. But it's only after a long work day or if we're both stressed about something.

buboo · October 2010

For some odd reason I despise that saying. I will figure something else out:) Sorry I was not any help I just had to say it somewhere, all of my friends say it to their children and it drives me up the wall but I honestly have no idea why.

juliane2004 · October 2010

We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2010

buboo:
For some odd reason I despise that saying. I will figure something else out:) Sorry I was not any help I just had to say it somewhere, all of my friends say it to their children and it drives me up the wall but I honestly have no idea why.

I have things like that too that just bug me for no real reason. of course right now i can't think of an example but I know there are certain sayings/words that make me twitch.

jordysmom09 · October 2010

GoombaGirl_79:
buboo:
For some odd reason I despise that saying. I will figure something else out:) Sorry I was not any help I just had to say it somewhere, all of my friends say it to their children and it drives me up the wall but I honestly have no idea why.
I have things like that too that just bug me for no real reason. of course right now i can't think of an example but I know there are certain sayings/words that make me twitch.

Me too!

Sweetgurl6630@yahoo.com · October 2010

juliane2004:
We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.

We do this sometimes too.

jordysmom09 · October 2010

Sunflower55014:
juliane2004:
We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.
We do this sometimes too.

So out of curiosity does that work? Do you feel like he understands enough to stop whining or is it just proactive to get him to get used to trying to say what he wants?

leslie13510 · October 2010

I hate the phrase "use your words" although I not really sure why. I already ask them things like, "What is that called?" or if they're whining or crying, "I can't understand you. Can you calm down and tell me what you want?" Sometimes I ask them to show me (which means take me to it and point) if I really can't figure out what they want, and then when they show me I'll ask them to tell me, or say what it's called. I only do these things when I know damn good and well that they know the word for it though. Like when DS shoves his empty cup in my face and whines, I don't get him more milk/juice/water until he says what he wants because I KNOW that he knows the word(s) for that. If it's a word that they definitely don't know, or that's relatively new, I just repeat it a few times while I get it for them. I can't imagine telling a kid to use their words if they don't have the words for it though. What's the point?

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2010

I don't think I'd say the actual phrase "use your words" either.. but probably something like "you know what that is..." or "what is it called?". Right now I say "I have no idea what you just said" or "sorry I dont understand you". Or when he gets out a super long and very IMPORTANT sounding sentence my husband says "Well, I see your point but you've neglected to take in consideration the global economy and its effect on small business".

leslie13510 · October 2010

GoombaGirl_79:
I don't think I'd say the actual phrase "use your words" either.. but probably something like "you know what that is..." or "what is it called?". Right now I say "I have no idea what you just said" or "sorry I dont understand you". Or when he gets out a super long and very IMPORTANT sounding sentence my husband says "Well, I see your point but you've neglected to take in consideration the global economy and its effect on small business".

::giggles::

jordysmom09 · October 2010

leslie13510:
GoombaGirl_79:
I don't think I'd say the actual phrase "use your words" either.. but probably something like "you know what that is..." or "what is it called?". Right now I say "I have no idea what you just said" or "sorry I dont understand you". Or when he gets out a super long and very IMPORTANT sounding sentence my husband says "Well, I see your point but you've neglected to take in consideration the global economy and its effect on small business".

::giggles::

laughing with you ! And Leslie I don't really see the point either.

JLS0320 · October 2010

DS grunts and points at things he wants, he knows a ton of words now, but some of the big ones like milk, more, truck are still missing. When he grunts and points at his milk I just say "do you want your MILK, can you say MILK?" He sounds like a little caveman sometimes lol

juliane2004 · October 2010

jordysmom09:
Sunflower55014:
juliane2004:
We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.
We do this sometimes too.
So out of curiosity does that work? Do you feel like he understands enough to stop whining or is it just proactive to get him to get used to trying to say what he wants?

I'd say 90% proactive. 10% getting used to it, and learning what it means.

kabarbanel · October 2010

I'll excpect him to use his words when he knows how to. Ha. If he knows the word for something but is just whining, I'd tell him to use his words. But if he doesn't know the word, I can expect him to say it.

haylee19 · October 2010

jordysmom09:
Sunflower55014:
juliane2004:
We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.
We do this sometimes too.
So out of curiosity does that work? Do you feel like he understands enough to stop whining or is it just proactive to get him to get used to trying to say what he wants?

We do this as well when DS is whining and I already know exactly what he wants, and I know that he knows the words to get it. Usually I walk him through what he needs to say and he calms down to say it.

katiekate1974 · October 2010

We do it now. But I am not unrealistic about it. For example, when we were teaching him to say "please", we spent a week or so saying, "say 'please' (while doing the sign)". Then we would hand him what he wanted. Once we recognized that he connected the sign and word with getting what he wanted, we started withholding what he asked for until he said or signed "please" (we never did this with immediate needs or food....only with toys, going outside, etc). We would say, "ok, you want to go outside. What do you say? Can you say 'please'?" Now that he gets it, we just say "use your words". I also have a god handle for his skill level. So I only make him use words or signs that are reasonable. Please, thank you, up, down, on, off, bath, etc. But I'd never make him say broccoli. LOL

katiekate1974 · October 2010

Oh, and I say "Can you use your nice words, please?" I try to always use the language I'd like him to use, and "Use your words" just sounds harsh and demanding to me. Not sweet, like my little boy

macchiatto · October 2010

Our boys have about 220 words each yet; their vocabularies have almost doubled in the past 6 weeks. We've been saying "use your words" since they were about 18-19 months (50-70 words). If we're guessing it's something they know the word for, we'll say that. It does seem to help. If we can guess what they want, we'll model: "Do you want a cracker? Can you say 'cracker, please'?"

krstokes · October 2010

juliane2004:
We already say that, mostly when DD's whining. Not that she can talk, but just to show her that it's not okay to just whine, but rather to use her words.

We do this as well. DD doesn't have a large vocabulary so "Use your words" really would not help us. I do plan on using it in the future... maybe that's the daycare teacher coming out in me.

mieuxmieux · October 2010

I recently started saying it. I only say it when it is something that she knows and is just whining for it (like cheese or juice). If it is something she has never said, I don't. If she doesn't say it, I try to ask her what she wants and wait until she says yes or no.

outnumbered · October 2010

I say it to my 4 and 5 year old. When they cry I say "Use your words to tell me what you are feeling". I try to help them express their emotions so I can help them solve their problems. I started saying it when they were younger and very verbal and went through whining/tantrum phases.

CalinsBride · October 2010

I say it when he knows how to ask, but just chooses to scream instead. If he doesn't know the word, then I tell him the word and reinforce it a bunch, but I don't penalize him for not using it, obviously. Even if he knows the word, I don't penalize him, but I will repeat the word and ask him to use it in the hopes that it will click and he will be verbal with me, rather than just pointing and screaming.

Belle15 · October 2010

We've been saying it too. DDs vocabulary is growing sooo quick and she's putting phrases together too. I don't see what the big deal is if it's done in a positive way. DD sometimes poops when I put her in for a nap or for bedtime. She won't cry, but it generally just takes her longer to fall asleep. I've been telling her she has to use her words to tell me she did poopy and i'll come in and change her. Tonight she did! She said mommy I did poopies And she did!!

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