Can I get your thoughts on gift exchanges?

Sunshine05 · October 2010

I have a question for everybody about the exchanges on the board. There have been quite a few lately where people have flaked out and not sent someone a gift. What is your stance on who should be allowed to participate in gift exchanges? In my opinion, it should only be open to people who actively participate in this board.

Therefore I feel it should be the exchange coordinator's duty to somewhat police the people who sign up and make sure they're actually a member of the board. That, or the person setting up the exchange should let everyone know before setting it up that they intend to let everyone and anyone participate. Even some random chick who wants to be gift-grabby and doesn't even post on any of the Bump boards.

I think it should be reserved for active members of the IF board to ensure everyone gets someone they "know" and want to shop for, and to ensure that everyone gets a gift in return. Thoughts?

Mrs.AmandaMqn · October 2010

When I got my draw this time, I was worried about who I got and even pm'ed kissyfacekate about it. From what I remember, my draw doesn't even post on our board anymore after some drama that went down a few months ago. It all made me very hesitant about sending a gift.

So, yes, Sunshine, I am in agreement with you.

njohnson1972 · October 2010

I didn't know this was going on. Ugghh! I did notice in this last gift exchange a lot of names that I didn't recognize - more so than the previous sock or jewelry exchange.

theworms · October 2010

you have some very valid points sunshine and amanda. in an ideal world that would be great but there are new people joining are board every day and i wouldn't want to cut them out of an exchange and sometimes an exchange is the way to get to know someone you don't know that well.

as a gift exchange organizer in the past, i have to say in both instances that i know of, when people didn't receive gifts it was from individuals who were at the time/ or are now very active.

so i think the chance is there regardless of their status on the board.

jani7 · October 2010

I'm not posting for or against regulating the exchanges, I only want to give my experience from this exchange. I recieved a message from my person who drew my name asking who I was, that they didn't know I was apart of the board. It was a very nice message and I was not offended in anyway what's so ever. And I know I'm not a super regular but I have been posting on and off for a while now. So my only point is that there may be some who are not posting every day but who do participate that maybe someone might not know and think they don't belong??

Again I'm not for or against - and I was not in anyway offended by my elfster person asking if I posted on here (not at all)

theworms · October 2010

and if someone didn't receive a gift in an exchange i hosted i reached out the repeatedly to the gift giver (via email and elfster) to figure out what the problem was and try to resolve it.

what can i say, sometimes people suck.

thebeadinglady · October 2010

I agree but I think the trouble would be where to draw the line. What constitutes a regular poster? If a newbie only has ten posts but they have been within a couple days would we let them in? What about a former regular that is just starting to join back in? I do agree though that if someone signs up and not a single post can be found from them they shouldn't be able to join. For the lucky socks exchange I recieved my socks from a girl who was fairly new but is now very active, so I would hate to exclude those girls just because they are new.

Sunshine05 · October 2010

theworms:
you have some very valid points sunshine and amanda. in an ideal world that would be great but there are new people joining are board every day and i wouldn't want to cut them out of an exchange and sometimes an exchange is the way to get to know someone you don't know that well.

as a gift exchange organizer in the past, i have to say in both instances that i know of, when people didn't receive gifts it was from individuals who were at the time/ or are now very active.

so i think the chance is there regardless of their status on the board.

I definitely agree with a lot of this. I know it is important to participate in things like this to get to know people, but in Amanda's case it's not even a poster on the BUMP let alone on IF. I just don't think that's cool. Here she is, wanting to have some fun getting to know someone on the board and she gets stuck with someone who's not even on the board? Not cool.

And I fully agree b/c the time I didn't get anything, it was from a former very active member who just dropped off the boards. Not getting into all THAT again! ;-)

theworms · October 2010

and i have to also say, we are all adults, don't sign up if you are not going to fulfill your obligation!

thanks

Sunshine05 · October 2010

thebeadinglady:
I agree but I think the trouble would be where to draw the line. What constitutes a regular poster? If a newbie only has ten posts but they have been within a couple days would we let them in? What about a former regular that is just starting to join back in? I do agree though that if someone signs up and not a single post can be found from them they shouldn't be able to join. For the lucky socks exchange I recieved my socks from a girl who was fairly new but is now very active, so I would hate to exclude those girls just because they are new.

Definitely not going to put a post count on things, and it definitely helps people to get to know one another... everyone was a newbie on here at one point, so I don't want to leave anyone out. This was more pointed to those who aren't participating on the board AT ALL. I mean, not a single post. That just seems to be inviting trouble in the front door.

njohnson1972 · October 2010

Sunshine05:
theworms:
you have some very valid points sunshine and amanda. in an ideal world that would be great but there are new people joining are board every day and i wouldn't want to cut them out of an exchange and sometimes an exchange is the way to get to know someone you don't know that well.

as a gift exchange organizer in the past, i have to say in both instances that i know of, when people didn't receive gifts it was from individuals who were at the time/ or are now very active.

so i think the chance is there regardless of their status on the board.

I definitely agree with a lot of this. I know it is important to participate in things like this to get to know people, but in Amanda's case it's not even a poster on the BUMP let alone on IF. I just don't think that's cool. Here she is, wanting to have some fun getting to know someone on the board and she gets stuck with someone who's not even on the board? Not cool.
And I fully agree b/c the time I didn't get anything, it was from a former very active member who just dropped off the boards. Not getting into all THAT again! ;-)

Is this for the Fall Exchange? Isn't the deadline for mailing gifts tomorrow? Am I missing something?

I would be glad to be Amanda's elf. Just PM me.

Mrs.AmandaMqn · October 2010

You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

amaksym05 · October 2010

Hmm very good and valid points but I do have to mention when I participated in my first card exchange I was brand spanking new( like 50 posts) and I followed through. Yes it was just a card exchange and yes I am still here but I don?t think you should just judge someone just by their ?newness? because we were all that new once. Though I agree that some people don?t follow through and it sucks for all that are involved?. sooo I do agree with what you are saying but I am not sure how you can regulate it because like Wormsie said sometimes people just suck.

Sunshine05 · October 2010

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

thebeadinglady · October 2010

Btw if anyone is still missing a gift or got a dud for the exchange I would love to step up and send a gift. I missed the sign up because of my health drama at the time and would love to spend some money on you ladies : )

Sunshine05 · October 2010

njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:
theworms:
you have some very valid points sunshine and amanda. in an ideal world that would be great but there are new people joining are board every day and i wouldn't want to cut them out of an exchange and sometimes an exchange is the way to get to know someone you don't know that well.

as a gift exchange organizer in the past, i have to say in both instances that i know of, when people didn't receive gifts it was from individuals who were at the time/ or are now very active.

so i think the chance is there regardless of their status on the board.

I definitely agree with a lot of this. I know it is important to participate in things like this to get to know people, but in Amanda's case it's not even a poster on the BUMP let alone on IF. I just don't think that's cool. Here she is, wanting to have some fun getting to know someone on the board and she gets stuck with someone who's not even on the board? Not cool.
And I fully agree b/c the time I didn't get anything, it was from a former very active member who just dropped off the boards. Not getting into all THAT again! ;-)
Is this for the Fall Exchange? Isn't the deadline for mailing gifts tomorrow? Am I missing something?
I would be glad to be Amanda's elf. Just PM me.

You're right, the exchange date is somewhere around now. This was just about who Amanda got in the exchange.

Mrs.AmandaMqn · October 2010

thebeadinglady:
Btw if anyone is still missing a gift or got a dud for the exchange I would love to step up and send a gift. I missed the sign up because of my health drama at the time and would love to spend some money on you ladies : )

you and njohnson are such sweethearts! I got an awesome gift from a sweet elf. My issue is the draw I received.

Sunshine- don't sweat it, I was worried about it and I'm glad for us all to talk about it.

njohnson1972 · October 2010

Sunshine05:
Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.
THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

theworms · October 2010

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

honestly, i noticed this too (after draw) and was surprised.

i have nothing against her and she did organize my m/c care package and i really appreciate that.

she did ask me if she could do sock exchange and i said yes only if she was planning on coming back and being a reg poster, she never responded to my email and i didn't include her.

njohnson1972 · October 2010

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
thebeadinglady:
Btw if anyone is still missing a gift or got a dud for the exchange I would love to step up and send a gift. I missed the sign up because of my health drama at the time and would love to spend some money on you ladies : )
you and njohnson are such sweethearts! I got an awesome gift from a sweet elf. My issue is the draw I received.
Sunshine- don't sweat it, I was worried about it and I'm glad for us all to talk about it.

Ding, ding, ding! I just realized you drew jkcmacnamara.

Awkward.

Sunshine05 · October 2010

njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:
Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.
THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.
I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

Thank you. I think people are misconstruing my words. I am not against "newbies" participating... I am against people who are not members of the board participating. If you post here a few times, great, sign up, meet more people! A former member who caused all that drama and now posts on BNOTB participating? Not so much.

amaksym05 · October 2010

Sunshine05:
njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

Thank you. I think people are misconstruing my words. I am not against "newbies" participating... I am against people who are not members of the board participating. If you post here a few times, great, sign up, meet more people! A former member who caused all that drama and now posts on BNOTB participating? Not so much.

I totally get what you are saying now and agree! Sorry if I had a Polish moment. lol

theworms · October 2010

Sunshine05:
njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

Thank you. I think people are misconstruing my words. I am not against "newbies" participating... I am against people who are not members of the board participating. If you post here a few times, great, sign up, meet more people! A former member who caused all that drama and now posts on BNOTB participating? Not so much.

i can agree with this.

as i mentioned earlier, when she asked about sock exchange i used my judgement and didn't include her b/c she was no longer active. if she was still an active member on our board i would have included her

Sunshine05 · October 2010

amaksym05:
Sunshine05:
njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

Thank you. I think people are misconstruing my words. I am not against "newbies" participating... I am against people who are not members of the board participating. If you post here a few times, great, sign up, meet more people! A former member who caused all that drama and now posts on BNOTB participating? Not so much.

I totally get what you are saying now and agree! Sorry if I had a Polish moment. lol

No worries, us Polacks have to stick together. Send me a pierogi and there'll be no hard feelings. Wink

Sunshine05 · October 2010

theworms:
Sunshine05:
njohnson1972:
Sunshine05:

Mrs.AmandaMqn:
You are all right about where to draw the line and everything. My thought is should someone participate that caused such drama? amaretto*sour is jkmcnamara and after everything that went down, I was totally surprised to see her name as my draw.

THIS! I'm sorry, Amanda, I was trying not to out you in all this and just get the ladies' thoughts in general. But I think some policing was necessary in this case.

I think this changes the situation. This isn't just a newbie and all newbie shouldn't be penalized for jkmcnamara's antics.

Thank you. I think people are misconstruing my words. I am not against "newbies" participating... I am against people who are not members of the board participating. If you post here a few times, great, sign up, meet more people! A former member who caused all that drama and now posts on BNOTB participating? Not so much.

i can agree with this.

as i mentioned earlier, when she asked about sock exchange i used my judgement and didn't include her b/c she was no longer active. if she was still an active member on our board i would have included her

I can agree with that. You are very wise, Worms. I just find her motives a little questionable... not sure how you can post on BNOTB and IF simultaneously. Just wanted to ask the board for their thoughts before any more exchanges came up, so we can have a clear consensus. Hope everyone can understand where I'm coming from.

lmc5004 · October 2010

OMG, I totally forgot about that drama for a minute... At least the newbies werent around for that, lucky newbs!!!!

Yellow_Daisy · October 2010

I agree with Worms, it is hard to say who is active and who isn't. I know for one of the exchanges I participated in I didn't know who my person was, but after drawing I made a point to keep an eye out for her and found that we posted on opposite schedules. I have met some really awesome ladies doing exchanges and I have had a bad experience doing exchanges. I think it's nice if the person participates in the board, but how do you really control that unless you read every post every day.

If this post is only about JKMc then I think that should just be said. I personally don't have anything against her, yes there was drama, but there are two sides to every story and none of us really know both sides. However, I do agree that any person who wants to do an exchange should be participating in this board at least a little, I just don't know any fair way to enforce that. So I think we all just need to be realistic when we join exchanges that anyone can join and the draw you get may or may not be someone you "want" per say.

Just my opinion.

ked1068 · October 2010

Yellow_Daisy:

However, I do agree that any person who wants to do an exchange should be participating in this board at least a little, I just don't know any fair way to enforce that. So I think we all just need to be realistic when we join exchanges that anyone can join and the draw you get may or may not be someone you "want" per say.

Just my opinion.

Knowing that the holidays are coming up and that we have, typically in the past, done a holiday exchange, I asked myself this question just the other day. Assuming we have a draw this year I question whether I should include myself? Yes, I'm a gold poster. Yes I've been here since the day this board was created (technically even before then). But at the same time, though, going back to work this year has made it VIRTUALLY impossible for me to post at all. I sneak on from time to time to read up and give support when I can, but am I an active poster? Not at all. And I know I'm not. Heck, I bet 3/4 of the ladies on this board have no clue who the heck I am. So coming up with a standard formula of who should participate and who shouldn't is difficult. Really difficult.

I agree with previous ppl...we are all adults who should act like adults when we participate in an activity such as this!

With that said...the jury is out as to whether I'll participate this year or not.

bbakersgirl75 · October 2010

I can really see both sides. I think I was still pretty "new" to the board when we did this. (2 months old, but wasn't a "regular" I don't think. I don't know maybe you ladies think I am a regular???) So if I had been excluded i would have understood, but would have really missed out. I think it's hard to draw the line... where do you draw it?

etoyama · October 2010

::applause!:::

whitewave26 · October 2010

I have lurked on this board forever and never really posted, but I LOVE the support you ladies provide for each other. That being said, I am trying to participate more, but the reason I may not post often is because I feel so far behind everyone else. I just feel like I don't have the experience to offer advice, but I am making more of an effort to post encouraging words when ever possible. Guess you have to start somewhere though right?

My point is, I have never participated in an exchange because of my newbie status and because no one really "knows" me. Maybe I will take the plunge on the next one though.

And... I think it is really crappy that someone signs up and doesn't follow through.

Kuleama · October 2010

theworms:

and i have to also say, we are all adults, don't sign up if you are not going to fulfill your obligation!

thanks

I agree!! It's sad that people sign up but don't contribute. I don't know what would be the best way to handle it though. I would think it would be easy to at least limit it to people who post on the IF board though.

amcrd · October 2010

So, no experience with previous gift exchanges as I'm new to this board (usually on TTC after 35), but I love this board. I learn so much and you guys are so active on here!

All that to say...I can't wait on the next exchange...sign me up!

Rachael07.07.07 · October 2010

I'm totally late to this but I just wanted to say..... KED- I doubt many people rec me as well....but I'd totally take your name again in a heartbeat! Besides I'd already know what I can dec your bathroom out in ;-) so if anything, we can exchange with each other if you want. I still love ya and miss you around here!

Want a personalized experience?

Can I get your thoughts on gift exchanges?

Re: Can I get your thoughts on gift exchanges?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards