Special Needs
How do you deal with stims?
for a not quite 3 yo
Strategies/approaches other than ignoring?
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for a not quite 3 yo
Strategies/approaches other than ignoring?
Re: How do you deal with stims?
Hey, girl.
Not sure if it's the same for someone who is Dean's age, but for him, we put a firm hand on his shoulder to interrupt the stimming and talk to him. Then we redirect to try to break him out of it. Usually (usually) works.
Redirect to a highly valued activity. Or join in and then redirect. Most of our stims mean something - ususally a need for some sensory input, so I try to provide that input.
What do you do and how does it work?
I have not talked through this plan entirely with DS's Psychologist as it has been a few months since we've seen her... so this is what is working for us right now and I can't say it is any good for anyone else's child, but it works for us. My son is 4.... but maybe something in here will spark an idea for your own child.
My whole intention was to allow what was necessary and stop was wasn't. I wanted to get to a point where he could contain himself to an appropriate time and place and understand that not everyone does what he does or appreciates it. For now, we tell him it makes us dizzy. I don't want to use words that are too harsh, and I feel it is also truthful that when he is writing in the air, scooting around on his scooter, making puffing noises along with his numbers and letters etc.... it makes me dizzy. There are certainly things other kids do that we can talk about that might make HIM dizzy and he wouldn't like that very much if they did it around him.
We also talk about this when he's going to be around other kids, out in public, and at home. We ask if the other kids do it? I believe he honestly understands they don't. It is not something we talk about in front of anyone else... we have the conversation before he goes into any situation where we are there with him and have the ability to give him a cue to stop.
The cue: Thank the LORD it is gum. I love gum. So wonderfully normal. So wonderfully appropriate in so many situations. So wonderfully satisfying to a child who is getting at least 1/2 his 'stim' from his mouth.
In the store, on a playdate, etc.... if we see him stimming, we hold out a piece of gum for him and ask him to please stop. If he starts back, I take the gum. He does not like that, and the very threat usually stops the stim again. I do allow him to pick his favorite sugar free gum... whatever he wants. He likes trying new flavors. It keeps him satisfied.
At home, we realize he has held it together for the outside world so very well, and we approach things a little different. His room is the desired location for the stim, or he can do it on his little scooter in the house.
Once he gets started up, I ask him if he had a hard day, if he needs some time to write his numbers (and detail to him that I know exactly what he's doing - I don't call it a stim to him - I dont really want him asking other kids to 'stop stimming' and I could totally see that happening). I ask him to go look at the clock and pick an amount of time. He is allowed up to 15 minutes at his choosing to go let off steam and then he gets a piece of gum.
This works so well, that sometimes he doesn't even want the gum when he's done. He just says, 'I don't need it, Im done.'
If nothing else.... know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My son is somewhere around HFA/Aspergers and some children may have a more intense need. Nothing is a perfect fit for every child. My bet is that this won't last forever either. But, for now, we are FINALLY enjoying a bit of a solution to the issue we never had control over before.