A serious WWYD? Somewhat ethical?

HailsLyrics · October 2010

This is not a post to get attention - it is an honest WWYD because I'm so stuck. I've already gotten the opinions of my family.

I have a brain tumour (sp. b/c I'm Canadian.) I was hospitalized with a horrible migraine when they did a CT and found it. They told me it appeared "calcified" and benign. The neurosurgeon made a decision to not operate and to moniter it with follow-up CTs every 6 months with a contrast dye that would help show its growth in depth.

My last CT was when Skylar was a newborn. I refused to use the contrast dye because I would have had to pump and dump for 3 days. I have a low supply and have never been able to EBF which tears me apart. I had a feeling that if I would have pumped and dumped it would have been the end of BF so I chose not to have the dye.

At my last appointment, my neurosurgeon looked at the results of my most recent CT. The tumour appears similar but he said he needs it with dye. I have another CT in December. I'll still be BF Sky. Sky loves to BF and is always nursed to sleep, etc. A while back we were almost done BF, though, since he had started to refuse the breast but for a month and half we've been doing really, really great.

I should mention that at previous appointments the neurosurgeon said that it didn't look like it would grow. At our last appointment the neurosurgeon said "it will likely grow since you have this meningioma and you are so young." (Typically, meningiomas show up in older people not in someone who is 23. It's pretty rare for this to happen.)

My question #1 is would you get the CT with the dye even if it meant possibly screwing up BFing early (we had plans on breastfeeding until Sky was 1 -2 years old)? If I don't get the dye, though, it's possible that the doctors will miss out on something important. Someone in my family puts it this way: BF or possible dead momma in the future?

My question #2 is what if they want to remove it? I have a baby to look after. If they wanted to do it right away would you? Or would you let this thing sit in your head for longer since it appears to be calcified and benign?

Indifferent

murfygirl · October 2010

I am not in your shoes but I would probably quit bfing. formula wont kill your DS but not knowing your health could kill you. What does your H say?

ASmallWonder · October 2010

I'm sorry to crash your board and I'm SO sorry to hear about what you're going through. But for your questions you need to remind yourself that you not being around for your daughter is worse than you being unable to breastfeed her. And that's not to downplay that you BF AT ALL. But thinking long term, she needs you around for the long haul and if it were me, I'd do anything, even something that sucks in the short term, to ensure I was around as long as possible. Good luck with everything!

robinsokj · October 2010

The decision for me would be easy.

Continue to BF and possibly have no mother or switch to formula and have your health.

You need to be there for your child. Formula will not be the end of the world.

MrsWindyCity · October 2010

I would do the dye and try to pump and dump. It sounds like Sky is already fine with going between bottle and boob (or that is what I assume since it sounds like you BF + supplement?), and I bet 3 days won't make a huge difference, especially 2 months from now when he's even older. There is no telling, of course, but I think it's worth a try, just to be on the safe side regarding the tumor.

DS is nursed to sleep, too, but over the last month there have been a few times where I haven't been home and someone else has put him to sleep (the first times ever). He did just fine. He's also in daycare so most of his feedings are bottle over breast and he still nurses without a problem.

ETA: if pumping and dumping for a few days is not an option, I would still get the dye and FF. They say as little as 2 oz. of BM a day helps with immunities, so you could even start freezing stuff now so he'd have a little each day till he turned one.

PoseyMamma · October 2010

question 1 I think you should get the dye. I would rather FF and make sure the LO has a mom to keep BF and think that there is something wrong with me that could possibly kill me

question 2 I would probably see what the risks are if I got it done compared to if I didn't get it done. If the risk for getting it done out ways not getting it done I would get it done and just pray for the best and that everything will be ok.

sorry you are having to go through this I will be praying for you to make the right decision for you and your family.

emjenkins715 · October 2010

Stop BFing (this coming from a BFer). Babies need their mommas alive a far more than they need breast milk. As far as the operation, I don't know. If the operation will keep you alive for your child, that would be the route I would go. Definitely something to get support from family and friends for. Good luck and just because I feel it helps I'll pray for you.

Jeni182 · October 2010

I understand where you're coming from with the breastfeeding. I have to have an abscess cut out of my hip because I don't want to stop BFing to take the antibiotics that would get rid of it (the kind of infection I have require a certain kind of antibiotic). If I were you I would pump and build up a freezer stash and get the dye. It'll take a lot of pumping, but you should be able to manage it.

As for if they want to remove it, I'd say let them and pump while you're recovering and try to pick back up breastfeeding when you can. You're health is definitely more important in this case. Take care of yourself and your baby will be better because of it.

grapeape73 · October 2010

I know how you feel about BFing. I would do the contrast dye in December (I would probably do it earlier, but I'm paranoid like that) and just pump and dump. It doesn't necessarily mean the end of BFing, it is just a possibility.

You don't want to miss something, and suffer the dire consequences.

carney09 · October 2010

I would do the dye, and take the chance with pumping and dumping. If it ends your BF'ing, I would go to formula and be proud of the BF;ing you've done so far. Formula is not poison. Your LO will be just as happy, I promise.

Jessys_Girl · October 2010

Honestly, I agree with your family. I'd rather risk losing out on BFing and risk having to be "down for the count" for a little while during recovery than risk NEVER being able to be there for my child anymore.

carrotcake06 · October 2010

Q #1: I would do the CT w the dye in Dec and pump & dump. Take it from there at that point - you seem v determined to keep BFing & would do just about anything to keep going, so I don't see giving up is forgone conclusion. Even if you only nurse to sleep, it's something - and if you end up FF, that's okay too. You will have BFed for 8 mo & that's an accomplishment in itself.

Q#2: Depends totally on the support system you have - DH & family bc they'd have to take over caring for DS while you can't. But I'd cross that bridge IF you came to it.

LoriZoo · October 2010

Pump and dump is a viable option. Build up a stash and supplement with formula if needed. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Hopefully, everything will turn out fine. Right now, you are worrying about being selfless for your baby, but your family is right...a healthy mommy is better than no mommy. It's okay to stop BFing temporarily or permanently. You are giving the best you can to your baby one way or another! Love is the most important thing!

I don't mean to be depresssing, but my cousin ignored symptoms she had been having for a long time...throughout 2 pregnancies. By the time they found her cancer, she only survived a few months (leaving behind a 9 month old and 2 year old). Like I said, a healthy mommy is best!

Best wishes and please keep us posted! BTW, you are even taking the time to do the Getting Healthy check-ins...when you are dealing with this. Super woman!

CTri17 · October 2010

I totally understand the not wanting to screw up breastfeeding thing.

Here are my thoughts:

1. try to get your supply up, power pumping, oatmeal, mothers milk special blend caps etc

2. start pumping and freezing some. Esp as he starts to nurse less as he adds solids

3. Make sure you have enough pumped for when you need to do the contrast dye. Have formula for backup

4. HAVE THE CONTRAST DYE! You are playing with your LIFE here, it is more important for your son to have you around than it is for you to BF him, even if you don't like the idea of formula it won't hurt him, and if you are really against it you could do goats milk.

5. If you need surgery then you have it right away, again you could look to a milk bank if you didn't want to do formula but depending on how much you pump and freeze she could split BM and Formula during the day.

Keep us updated and GL

only1erin · October 2010

i would do the dye; maybe you can do the pump and dump but if that's not an option i would go to FFing.

as for the second question, i would wait for my results after the december scan w/dye and see what is reccomended and if they are saying it's benign.

ali_bl-nov05 · October 2010

You are much more than a milk provider to your child, and she needs you around. I'd get the dye in a second.

As for the second question, it can't be answered w/o considering the risks. Again, I would not just assume that it is calcified and hope for the best.

I know you will do what's best for your family.

***hugs**

KRMac · October 2010

grapeape73:
I know how you feel about BFing. I would do the contrast dye in December (I would probably do it earlier, but I'm paranoid like that) and just pump and dump. It doesn't necessarily mean the end of BFing, it is just a possibility.
You don't want to miss something, and suffer the dire consequences.

ITA. Sending you healthy vibes and prayers.

BelhurstBride · October 2010

CTri17:
I totally understand the not wanting to screw up breastfeeding thing.
Here are my thoughts:
1. try to get your supply up, power pumping, oatmeal, mothers milk special blend caps etc
2. start pumping and freezing some. Esp as he starts to nurse less as he adds solids
3. Make sure you have enough pumped for when you need to do the contrast dye. Have formula for backup
4. HAVE THE CONTRAST DYE! You are playing with your LIFE here, it is more important for your son to have you around than it is for you to BF him, even if you don't like the idea of formula it won't hurt him, and if you are really against it you could do goats milk.
5. If you need surgery then you have it right away, again you could look to a milk bank if you didn't want to do formula but depending on how much you pump and freeze she could split BM and Formula during the day.
Keep us updated and GL

This is exactly what I was going to say. 3 days isn't that long and chances are you'll be fine to continue BFing afterward. Cross the surgery bridge when you get to it.

Timeg · October 2010

I do not have an issue with a tumor or anything, but I'm in a similar situation with needing radioactive dye in order to undergo a test on my thyroid. My baby is 7 1/2 months and my thyroid hormones are whacked. I have to have a thyroid scan on Monday, which involves an injection of radioactive iodine. This means not BFing for three days. I've been dealing with an "up and down" supply for a while now and am sure that this will mean the end of BFing for me, but I've thought about it and I would rather be well than be unwell and BFing.

It's difficult giving up on something that's important to you, but your baby needs a happy and healthy momma more than anything. If I were you, I would get the test and, if necessary, I would have the tumor removed.

pleasebeonsale · October 2010

I just want to chime in with one more GET THE DYE DONE. If it ends the BF, so be it. I don't feel like I know enough to have an opinion on the second question. I hope everything works out though, and it's very understandable to me why both of these things are difficult decisions for you.

Mrs.ABC · October 2010

robinsokj:

The decision for me would be easy.

Continue to BF and possibly have no mother or switch to formula and have your health.

You need to be there for your child. Formula will not be the end of the world.

This. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope everything works out for the best.

KRISTA555 · October 2010

I agree with everyone else. Heck, there's even a chance you could do the dye and still breastfeed! Let's hope and pray for that result, but if you have to give up BF, it's hard, but it's not as important as your health.

T&P are with you.

Want a personalized experience?

A serious WWYD? Somewhat ethical?

Re: A serious WWYD? Somewhat ethical?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards