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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
are mothering urges normal after a loss?
I know I'm going to lose my baby this weekend because I have a scheduled d&c Saturday morning so I don't get an infection. Even knowing that, I still have this...incredible urge to be a mother. I'm only 19 and I know I have plenty of time but I've been wrapping my head around this concept for 4 months and all of a sudden I find out it isn't going to happen because my baby won't survive. I just want to be a mom. and I cry so much when I just see a baby. It makes my heart ache. Is that normal? I feel like it's just because I hit the point where you first get that nesting feeling and I'm hoping it will go away because my pregnancy was unplanned, I was on bc. And I want to wait until the timing is better and we're married and done with school but at the same time I just want to be a mother. My own mother says it's normal for me to feel like this, it's like an instinctual thing. And I know time isn't running out or anything so I don't know why the urge is so strong. I'm wondering if it will just stop after my hormones go back to normal. Has anyone else felt like this? Did it stop or continue? I'm so confused.
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Re: are mothering urges normal after a loss?
Your mom is right. It is partly instinct and hormonal. The urge to be a mom doesn't necessarily go away (at least it hasn't for me), but then you realize other things that you need to focus on to get your life in order. In your case, that can be school, career, marriage, whatever it is your goals are.
For me, it will be grad school and buying a house. Our time will come again and I feel like I may be stronger to face the journey of pregnancy bc of what I went through, with my first one ending so sadly.