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I have to get this off my chest (long)
I am a single parent. Technically, this isn't true but my husband is a workaholic, so it feels like it. My husband started his own business 2 years ago. He is a very well respected personal trainer in our city. He trains professional and collegiate athletes along with some high school kids who are going to get full athletic scholarships. He works non stop. Let's put it this way, his first client today was at 5 a.m. and his last is at 7 p.m. Which means he'll be home at 8:30. He doesn't have a break all day.It is like this Monday- Friday. He works Saturdays 5am-3pm and most Sundays from 6-noon. He is very good at his job and has established his business better than we imagined. His job lets us send K to the best preschool and let's us buy the "finer things". I love to shop so I love the income he provides!
However, he does NOTHING around the house. I mean that literally. I wake up, get ready for work, wake up K, get him ready for school, then take him to school. I teach all day long, pick up K, go home and make dinner, clean up around the house, pay the bills, play with K, give him a bath, set out our clothes for the next day, get K ready for bed, and then DH comes home. He spends his time playing with K and then when he's asleep, we lay around and watch T.V. until we fall asleep around 10.
I am exhausted. I do ALL the cooking, cleaning, childcare, bills, laundry, trash, grocery shopping ALONG with a full time teaching job. My husband gets to come home and relax but I *never* get to relax at home because there is always something that needs to be done. If I am sick, I have to ask my mom or MIL to come over to watch K. I am going to have to take K to all of my monitoring u/s and bloodwork when I start my IVF cycle. I see other dad dropping their kids off at preschool or taking them to the grocery store and think "It's not fair".
I cannot do acupuncture weekly because I don't have someone to watch K and my husband works so much, he can't do it. I can't just make a hair appointment or massage or pedicure without finding a babysitter. I feel like my life revolves around his work schedule and if a client happens to cancel so he can come home earlier.
DH will take off if I ask him to. As horrible as this post sounds, he spoils me rotten and never says no to me. If there is something I want to do, he'll do it. If there is something I want to buy, he'll buy it. He dearly loves us and when he is home spends QUALITY time with us( because it definitely isn't quantity). He knows he works too much but cannot hire someone else because people want HIM to train them, not someone else. He is physcially exhausted and emotionally drained because he knows how much I hate his hours. I feel guilty for bringing it up because I know he works this much to provide us with so much.
I am scared about when we have more kids. I am overwhelmed now, I can't imagine adding another kid or two in the mix! DH has promised me that he is going to start grouping the athletes together so he can come home everyday at 6:30. I don't know if he'll actually do this though. K has never said or acted like he never sees his daddy. They have an awesome relationship and he idolizes his daddy. I just don't know how much longer I can physically keep up, especially when I get pregnant. DH has told me that I can hire a maid but I'm a control freak so I don't want someone else messing with my stuff.
I am just so frustrated and need a vacation. I can't wait for bed rest after IVF. Finally, I can do NOTHING !
Big fat jumbo margarita for those who read this longwinded whiny post!
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
-- Dale Carnegie
DS: Born 2007
TTC #2- Diagnosed with secondary infertility, after 18 months and failed IUIs, we achieved success with IVF #1
DD: Born 2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I have to get this off my chest (long)
Oh I hear you Amy! With Drew overseas over half the year, I am a single parent. Even when he's home, he wants to relax and enjoy his time. Well when do I get to do that?
I'm a control freak too on my house, but I hired a company to come in every week. And we hired a girl who is a nanny first, then does laundry (I can time the loads of sheets, towels, etc. for when she's here) and then a legal assistant if time permits. Hire a cleaning person/company and hire an assistant to run errands (or a person who does all this) to get dry cleaning or a grocery list.
~Kimberly & Eric~ April 21, 2008 ~Tensing Pen ~ Negril, Jamaica ~ My Blog: One Sunset at a Time
Ditto Kim. Just do it. You'll be glad you did.
FWIW, my mom is ridiculous about her house but when that cleaning lady came, all my mom cared about was the fact that she started her weekend with a clean house.
And if you hire a service, instead of a person, they will have insurance and will take responsibility if anything goes missing. If that is a major concern. Though, I doubt it ever really happens.
I just want to give you a big (((((hug)))).
And tell you I agree - HIRE some help!!!
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