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May 2011 Moms
Tubes Tied
Im 24 and I am on my 3rd baby. I am single.
I have no contact with baby daddy number 1. [He hit my son when my son was 2 weeks old cause he wouldn't stop crying at 2 in the morning. And mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive to me.] I moved from Chicago to Texas in 2006 the year my son was born. I haven't talked to him in like 2 years. And DS is 4 now.
My second baby daddy. The father of this baby and baby #2. I deeply care about him but I don't think he is/was ready to be a father. He still drinks, gets high, and parties. I only let him around my sons in the afternoon when he at least sober and not throwing up and *** in front of them. Like I said I do care for him and wish he would change. But I don't think it will happen.
Well I am getting my tubes tied. This baby will be the last.
Do you guys think this is a good idea or am I too young?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tubes Tied
Do whatever you are comfortable with. If you have any second thoughts what so ever, I wouldn't do it at all.
I would do what pp said and get an IUD. Something a little less permanent, but just as effective.
I don't know that I'll ever be able to have my tubes tied, it feels too final, and I never know what life will bring our way or how I'll feel in 10 years from now. This may very well be our last, but I'm not willing to admit I might change my mind later!
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I have heard the min. age is 25 for getting it done, (or have at least 2 children but I could be totally pulling that from my a$$) but I am 22 this is our 2nd baby and my doctor has basically said that for my health's sake this needs to be our last biological child, so we are looking into long term IUDs or my hubby is getting "fixed" as he calls it. It is a huge choice that only you can make for your family. Just think that if you come across the perfect man, would you want another baby or would you be content?
Gl!
Getting your tubes tied is permanant and you are still very young. It may seem like the right decision now but in a few years you could meet Mr. Right and want a child with him. It could be 10 years down the road but even then you will be young enough to have a baby. I admire your strength. There are other options out there and 3 times you have chosen to have your babies. I think you need to find a good form of birth control going forward but hold off on getting your tubes tied.
Just asking our advice, means that you're having doubts about this choice, IMO. So if I were you, not knowing what the future holds, I would get an IUD instead of getting my tubes tied.
You don't know where, or with who, you'll be in 5+ and things could be drastically different. I'd give yourself at least another 8 years before considering this option again.
Good luck with your decision!
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
Wives Unscripted
Married my hero on 10-11-08
Our bean was born on 05-19-11
My first baby daddy was an electrian and was very responsible money wise. The abusing started when I got pregnant so I didn't know that he was like that.
The second baby daddy I was on birth control and missed a month and got a major surprise. And this time around we were using the pulling out method and we were going at it for 9 months and ended up pregnant again.
I tried birth control pills and I can't take them regularly. Im very forgetful about that. I did the patch and it scabbed my skin and made it raw. Those are the only 2 I have tried
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Thank You ladies for the support. I have been thinking about the tubes tied part. I thought if you get them tied, you can get them untied.
I will def. have to ask my Dr. about the tying of the tubes. To see if she will do it.
I have a lot to think about before this baby is born.
It is not so easy to just "untie your tubes." This is supposed to be a permanent option.
I'm not trying to be rude, but you seem to be coming up with every excuse in the book as to why you're behaving in an irresponsible way. If you can't remember to take your pill then how do you take care of your kids?
At the same time, maybe you really shouldn't be having any more kids and this might be a good option for you.
when i was 24 I managed to work 2 jobs, go to grad school, have a lot of fun with my friends and still remember to take the birth control pill every day. The birth control pill is not for everyone, but preventing pregnancy does not need to be that hard.
Like I said in my PP I do respect you for having all of your children. However, this post makes you seem extremely young and irresponsible. You have seen time and time again how easy it is to get pregnant. How could you forget to take your pills knowing the consequences?? Also the pullout method is not a form of birth control. Many people get pregnant this way.
Having your tubes tied is a major decision and you should do as much research as possible before even asking your doctor. It is not a simple procedure to have reversed. You should have known that before even writing this post.
Despite the fact that it is your decision, you may have trouble finding a doctor to do it. My cousin has 2 kids by 2 fathers and KNEW she didn't want another one. BUT her doctor told her because she was only in her 20s and unmarried that he wouldn't do it because she might want another one someday. She had to call a few different places before she found one that would do it. This was 9 years ago now, so things may have changed. They may try to convince you to get an IUD or something instead of having your tubes tied.
Birth control and my kids are 2 different stories. So don't bring my boys into this. I take care of my boys and do what I have to, to raise them the right way. I was NOT asking anybody to be snotty or anything of that sort.
I go to school full time and take care of business at the same time.
I chose not to be on birth control it was my choice. And im not saying I regret anything about it. God obviously gave me my babies for a reason.
I was just asking for an input on the situation. Not an input on how I live MY life. We are all totally different people and we all do things different. Im not dumb I know the pull out method doesn't work all the time thats why I said it worked for 9 months.
And every excuse in the book. I only stated 2. There is way more excuses then that. I know what I was doing. I know what unprotected sex can lead to. I did graduate high school and I am in my first year of clinicals for nursing.
If you look at the title of this it says TUBES TIED, not judge me on how I choose to live my life.
I'm just going to say it. You need to stop procreating. You sound terribly irresponsible and you have 3 children. I don't care how young you are, you need to stop having kids. Especially with men that are drunk and high on a regular basis. SMH. You might have your head on (semi) straight, but you have obviously made some very poor choices. I don't think that bringing anymore children into that environment is a good idea.
Do I think you should get your tubes tied? YEP.
There. I said it. If you don't like it, oh well. I'm just tellin' it to you straight from what I've read so far.
This.
You are still young and you may find someone later on who is a great guy and whom you want to have children with. Ultimately it has to be your decision but I would maybe look into other forms of birth control like the pill, IUD, or even the shot if you don't want to worry about a pill every day. Have you talked to your doctor about this yet? You might want to do that as they can probably give you more information on all your options.
Ok, this is the Bump, and in case you haven't noticed yet anything and everything you type can and will get torn apart. Everyone gets flamed once or twice, but if you go back and reread the replies you will see you got some very good advice. I will leave some of the stuff you put alone even though I have to agree with some of the PP on your choices, but I am just going to say that I am younger then you, and happily married and I still won't consider getting my tubes tied even though this is my last baby because of my health. Seriously consider a 10 year IUD because a lot can happen in 10 years. Just do your homework, because it is not a quick fix, but a very permanent thing and if you want to have another kid it is a million times harder. But in the end, its your body, you life and your family.
Like I said leave my boys out of this. This has nothing to do with them AT ALL!! Got it?!? Very poor choices? Let me guess you have a HALO over your head. You are just so perfect. Let me guess you did things right. Come on now. Nobody is perfect. I love my children dearly and I am trying my best to raise them the way they deserve. "That environment?" Really?!? They are being raised in a loving environment. They are getting the love and care they need. My kids are here and they aren't going anywhere. And I am doing what I need to, to keep them safe and healthy. And im "terribly irresponsible" when it comes to popping pills on a daily basis. Im very responsible in every other way. Just cause I forget to take a pill, I will never forget that I have to raise and protect my children.
My babies and taking birth control are different stories. One means more to me then the other. Who gives a flying F*** if I forget to take my birthcontrol 1 time or 2 times. I will never forget that I have children that need me and depend on me.
TYVM!!!!
Yes I noticed that NOW. LOL. People are giving me some really good advice. I know nothing of the whole tubes process. I never really looked into it. I will def. do some homework on it. And the IUD.
Easy on the defense, girl. I am telling it to you straight. Do I think it's wise to continue to bring children into the environment you currently have going? NO. I don't. I won't budge from that opinion either.
Sometimes you get responses that you don't want to hear.
And you really want me to leave your children out of this equation when their baby daddy is high and drunk, regularly? No, I won't take those sweet children out of this equation.
You stop screwing around with a-holes, remember to take your birth control, and then maybe I will reconsider my answer.
If you re-read my first post it says I ONLY let him around in the afternoon when I know he is sober. Yes he does get high and drink but I NEVER and I mean EVER allow him around my children when he is pissy drunk. I don't put my children in that. They are totally seperate from him when he is in that drunken state. And thank you my children are very sweet and handsome.
Wether I like it or not, he is my babies father. I did chose to have him in my life. And I am paying the price. As for birth control I will be lookin into something like the IUD or the shot.
The only way he gets to see them when he doesn't come over and see's them before work is when his mom gets them and takes them to her house. I never let him take them. And on a rare occasion when he hasn't been drinking or anything I let him take them to his [his mom's and dad's] house. But I make sure his mom and dad are home to monitor him while he is with my kids. He is not allowed to take them out of the house or anything. And his mom knows the deal.
Wow! Do you walk on water too? Turn water into wine? I'm relieved to know we have people on this board who are without faults. Tell me, how's living in a glass house working for you?
Seriously, how can you consider being a parent with your attitude? I wouln't want you to be my mom or anyone else's for that matter.
I'm already a parent. Tada!! Do you feel sorry for my kid?? Please say yes.
No, I just feel really sorry for you. Gotta kick another mom down to build yourself up. What a shame. Too bad there are not life guards in the gene pool.
This just seems like another example of women who help enable other people's bad choices. We're socialized to be sympathetic but sometimes people need to hear it straight. She is making AWFUL CHOICES. I don't think you have to "live in a glass house and walk on water" to see that.
"My babies and taking birth control are different stories. One means more to me then the other. Who gives a flying F*** if I forget to take my birthcontrol 1 time or 2 times. I will never forget that I have children that need me and depend on me."
I actually don't see how these two things are so different? You have brought children into the world with bad fathers who need to be monitored. You forgot your birth control once or twice? You have 3 unplanned pregnancies! That's what the big deal is. It only takes once for you to get pregnant- a lesson you should have learned three times over. You say the pull out method worked for 9 months. That doesn't sound like working to me. Plenty of people do stupid things for many years until it catches up to them. That's like saying, "I drove drunk for 5 years until I got in a car accident. I was good at driving drunk."
THIS!!!
Getting your tubes tied is very hard to reverse as well it will not protect you against STD. These guys sound unstable and honestly I would not be with a guy that was drunk all the time nor anyone that did/does any kind of drugs. That is a step in looking for a father for my children.
I really at first thought that you had it together and were making your way but I would be pissed at you if you were my mom and you gave me a dad that was a loser and that you knew that and let him be around me at all. there is a thing called a functioning drunk and it sound like he is one... sorry JMHO