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soko987
member
UO - s/o homeless rants
soko987
member
Yeah, I'm a bit fired up.
I think it's pretty petty to complain about homeless people begging for your change. I've seen people on here describe it as "annoying" and "uncomfortable". An "inconvience".
Listen to yourselves!! These are people who, for one reason or another, have hit rock bottom. Imagine finding yourself in such a situation...let me tell you, the way life works, NO ONE is above it. Tragedy, loss, mental illness, unemployment, disability...these are all real things that can happen to real people. GOOD people.
If you don't want to give them money, that's fine. Don't. Be secure with your decision and move on. Just don't go around biitching about it, because it's so very, very petty.
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Re: UO - s/o homeless rants
Word.
Haha Carney! "Word"
But seriously? I agree....who was complaining about it? I feel fortunate to have a nice warm home and hot food....its effing cold out there....I can't imagine!
I completely agree. It breaks my heart to people who have it so hard they have to beg for money. I mean could you imagine how degrading that is.
Now I know that there have been news specials in my area about people who aren't misfortunate and that is how they make their living. But I think those cases are few and far between.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>That fires me up too. You said it very well.
vegan mama, military wife
I haven't had a chance to read the posts yet, but I completely agree.
Also, many, many people are only a few paychecks away from homelessness becoming a real possibility.
I understand where you are coming from too. I don't mind helping ppl out but I am not going to give ppl money. I will offer to buy them food or something. If you don't want that, I am sorry. I am not going to give someone money so they can spend it on alcohol or whatever.
If you are referring to the post from earlier, my feelings are you should accept the food that someone is offering you. To me, that person may really not be homeless. I don't want to sound like a heartless b!tch because I would gladly help people in need. And I do. Our family does canned food for the salvation army at Christmas time instead of giving gifts and do Angels from the Angel tree.
I haven't read the original post, but I agree with you when it comes to a lot of homeless. Whenever my DH and I go to eat we pack up our leftovers (which are usually a lot) and we find a bum to feed.
On the other hand, I live in a hippy town and a lot of young kids traveling stop off here. They stand on the corner with their brand new puppies with their signs that say "Traveling, can you help us?". That makes me mad, they are young and agile and can work. If they choose to travel and get a dog to bring with them, they should have the money to do it, or be willing to work.
When I was a teen I was so lame. At 14 years old I would leave my warm cozy home and go sit and spange for my daily "pot luck". I would lie and people would feel bad and give me money. The "pot luck" was a $20 sack of weed. I know for a fact that most of the kids in my town asking for spare change are most likely from a nice home, with parents that love them.
Those people make it even harder for the honestly down and out who really do need the help.
You sound like you are secure in your decision,and that you do some wonderful things. That's great, but it's also not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking people coming on here and complaining about the homeless begging for change.
And, in reference to the McDonald's post...maybe that man turned down the food because he already ate! Maybe someone already bought him some food. Who knows?
I lived in Boston for seven years. I saw the same homeless people, frequently. I always gave them whatever pocket change I had. Now, what they spent it on, I don't know. I guess that makes me socially irresponsible. But all I know is, 50 cents doesn't mean much to me, but it meant the world to them, at that moment.
Well I only give the homeless money if they put on a show first.
No guitar-y, no money.
I remember ready somewhere that 75% of homeless people are Veterans. People who served our country and can't cope with the real world now.
I don't always give to homeless people, but I will. This morning a homeless person came into the donut shop with me and asked for a cup of coffee. The store refused and asked him to leave. I offered to pay for the coffee and offered a donut. The man was very grateful and just accepted the coffee. It's cold out here right now and to think that I warmed him up just for a few minutes was warming to my heart.
Everyone falls on hard times and those who beg have something a lot of us don't. The ability to put pride aside, look a total stranger in their eyes and ask them for help. The humility they have to withstand as you look at them like their disgusting aside. It will take 10 seconds for us to scrape the 50 cents we have sitting in our "working" car to hand to them.
no kidding, there is a homeless man by the entrance of the freeway that does a show. We are always on the opposite side and can't drop money, but he has some mad dance moves. He is there almost everyday in the afternoon.
I completely agree with you. I am curious as to who is complaining about it, though.
On the other hand living in NYC I am almost certain not everyone on the street begging is actually homeless. Some people actually panhandle for a living here. Unfortunate as that is.
Never the less - I still dish out a dollar or two if I have it. An apple, orage or yogurt if I have it as well (if you asking for money to eat... I don't see anything wrong with giving you food). If someone does not wan't to give I won't judge either.
Thanks! Duh...I didn't really think about that.
Looks like I got the board fired up this morning! LOL
As far as this all goes: I am a Social Worker. I work with the severely mentally ill. I work with SEVERAL people who are legitimately homeless. I co-coordinate a homeless warming shelter with my church every single year. I consider myself pretty compassionate and helping when it comes to people in my community that have needs.
That being said, I never give money. To anyone. Even if I know they need something. I give the THING (food, bus ticket, coat, blanket, whatever) but not money. Because often the money is not used to meet a legitmate need. It's reality.
When I say that it makes me uncomfortable to be confronted while buying my coffee at McDonald's and this man is asking for money and refuses offers of food, I mean exactly that. It makes me uncomfortable. I DID NOT say that I was more uncomfortable than he was. Just that I was uncomfortable.
Being a woman who works in the inner city and who has been robbed, groped and assualted during the course of my job, I am VERY cautious of other people.
So before you judge me and say "You should look at that homeless man's situation before saying you're uncomfortable" maybe you should take your own advice and look at my situation.
Anybody ever read this article? It's pretty interesting
How panhandlers use free credit cardsJessys - I'm sorry you've been through so much. Truly.
Like I said in your OP, if you offer food to this man ( which is probably more than most people do), then you should not feel guilty about anything. I don't fault anyone for not giving money. What I do fault is complaining about it. You have to understand how it sounds, right?
And for the record, I was more fired up by the people who were saying "Ugh, how annoying!". Annoyance is not a way I would describe homelessness.
Wow. What a cool article.
It's human nature.
I think we are confronted with a lot of cognitive dissonance when we drive by someone who is clearly suffering, and here we are in our relatively comfortable situations. We don't like to think of ourselves as evil people, but in a way it is totally evil to go out and spend $100 on a purse when that money could probably save a starving child in a developing country, or same story - drive by a mentally ill homeless person in your $40,000 car and don't even look at him. I think the only way some people can justify that is to tell themselves and everyone else that that person doesn't really 'deserve' their money for some reason or another. Therefore, we aren't evil creatures, we are actually doing what is right by not enabling those 'bad' homeless people.
I'm not saying it's good, but it is what it is.
I honestly think you may have gone into the wrong field of work. I don;t think this is your first rant of this nature. You don't seem compassionate when you say the money is not used to fund a legitimate need. How do you even know what legitimate needs are at that moment for somebody else?
You don't want to give him money for bus fare (that's what he said it was, right?) but you used that dollar to buy a coffee. No wonder you felt guilty.
Drugs or alcohol are NOT legitmate needs IMO. And I've seen far to many of my own clients use money that they've panhandled for this purpose. Yes, bus fare might be a legitmate need for this man, but unfortunately, it's a good possibility that this is a lie. Considering this particular McDonald's is not near a bus stop/bus line, it's probable that this man is lying. Maybe he's not....but maybe he is.
And yes, I used MY dollar to buy a coffee. Do i feel bad that he can't buy a coffee? Sure. Did I offer to get him breakfast/coffee/etc. Yep.
I have also offered other homeless people my help as far as telling them to come to my work, and we will help them with resources for shelters, mental health treatment, substance abuse treatment, etc.
But why on earth is it so important to you to criticize me for not giving cold hard cash to someone who may be lying to me?