Sick of other peoples opinions... did I ask?

rsmith1175 · October 2010

I am 30 1/2 weeks pregnant today. I am kinda on the tall side 5' 10" and was slender when I got pregnant. I really started popping in the last month. However, my belly doesn't compare to my boobs. Those popped right at the start. I can't believe how many people have told me that I'm not very big. I hear it everyday at work. It is kinda making me paranoid. I usually just smile and say something witty. I am so sick of having to be witty. Don't people realize that it is NONE of their business. I should say something like " I know, isn't it great that I didn't turn into a FAT ass like you did when you were pregnant." UGH!! My manners won't allow me to be that rude to people who are to simple to understand that their opinion of me and my body doesn't add up to jack. Any suggestions on how to handle these intrusive comments?

LoveyFNR · October 2010

Brush em off. Seriously. People have broken mind and mouth filters around pregnant women. They just do. If anything be grateful they are saying you look small instead of the asses out there that say FAT and HUGE.

I've had people tell me throughout my entire pregnancy that I've been small and look good. I always enjoyed those comments. Yesterday an old aquaintance told me "You look good for being a fat girl." And that was coming from a girl who has always been bigger than me and still is even not pregnant.

The latter of the comments is worse. Take it as a compliment when someone says you are small and move on. No matter what people will ALWAYS make comments.

hewinked · October 2010

I got the opposite going on. I'm only 5 feet tall and was also thin when I got pregnant. I am all belly, so honestly I look huge, and I know this. I don't receive as many, you're huge comments now that I'm getting closer, but since about August, I've been hearing, "WOAH!" "OH MY!" "November, REALLY?!" and have watched people bug out their eyes when I say when I'm due. I also can't bring myself to say anything, even though all these people are incredibly rude. Depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes, I just laugh it off, sometimes I say, yup, all belly, or sometimes I get a little snarky and point out that, duh, I'm small, what else am I supposed to look like. I've also said, well, my doctor says baby is fine and not huge. I try not to let them bug me, but it's hard when you hear them over and over.

melknee78 · October 2010

Hi, popping over from whatever board I belong to. i just wanted to say that I am 5'7" and like you looked small in comparison to what people expect to be normal. I had comments asking if the baby was okay on top of the ones about being small. I would just comment that I always carried my weight well and I guess baby weight was no different. I seriously was smaller than a coworker who was 6 months pregnant when I was 9 months pregnant.

I also tried not to let it bother me because I knew that my baby was fine and if my doctor was worried about the size of my belly, she would have told me. Also FWIW I saw the other doctor at my practice the month before she gave birth and I would've sworn that she was only 5 months pregnant and she too is 5'10".

Good luck.

bumpuser1691848 · October 2010

I'm not tall (only 5'4"), but I have been really skinny my whole life and I didn't get very big. I was measuring 35 weeks when I had DD at 38 weeks. Whenever people would say that I didn't look that far along, I said "I know! It's going to be so easy to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes!"

The way I see it, people don't have filters. If you're smaller, they'll comment on that. If you're bigger, they'll comment on that. Either way, you're going to hear things you don't care to hear. Just brush them off. Also, don't worry about being small, I'm sure your baby is just fine!

rsmith1175 · October 2010

Thanks everyone!!! Didn't expect to get so many comments right after I posted. Nice to know I am not the only one playing on my computer this morning. I loved all the comments. Especially the one about getting back into pre-pregnancy clothes faster. HAHA!!!

Mama_SAS · October 2010

I'm 4'10" and I was showing early with this being my 2nd pregnancy. By 5 months people were asking if I was due soon and then when I said December they looked shocked and asked if I was having triplets! They skipped right over twins! Yeah, that made me feel awesome.

libby283 · October 2010

It seems that being called small bothers some women and others are offended when people comment they have gotten huge. Kinda can't win either way.

Personally I don't let it bother me. Of course I take it as a compliment when people tell me I look small.

frostyprincess24 · October 2010

Pretty much what PP have said. I too am 5'10" and was slender before pregnancy. I get "Oh you're so small!" all the time. I just smile and nod and say yeah. If it is someone I know I will joke about how hopefully I won't have to work too hard to take the weight off after.

On a good note, since I do look small, it has taken people longer to realize I am pregnant, so I haven't had any random people try to touch my belly or give me unsolicited advice (other than friends who knew I was pregnant, and even then it was just advice) hopefully it will continue.

KMHDecemberBride · October 2010

I am 5'10"/ 10 1/2" whatever... I was always slender as well and have popped in the last month. Yesterday, everyone's comment seemed to be "It looks like you dropped" or "There is no way you are going to make it to December"... I really wish people would just keep the comments to themselves. I wish I could snap back with something rude to them, but I can't make myself do it!

pixieprincss · October 2010

Here are some polite (depending on your tone, LOL!) options:

-I know you mean well, but I'm not really comfortable about talking about my body with you.

-Actually, I am right on target.

-My doctor is really happy with my progress.

-I feel great.

-Baby is perfectly healthy and we are thrilled.

-(ignore the comment) How are you doing?

-You may not know this, but comments like that feel really uncomfortable to me. I've heard lots of other pregnant women say the same thing.

tmperkins · October 2010

I'm the opposite but I know exactly how you feel. I am 5 ft. 2 and was thin before I got pregnant. I am due at the end of November but gained weight almost immediately. I even had someone say, "I was wondering why your face had gotten so big but it's because I didn't know you were pregnant. You're always sitting at your desk when I see you." I've also had many people ask me if I'm sure it's not twins. I will never understand the audacity of some people. I try to play it if with a joke but I have shed many tears in private over this. Who on earth would ever think it is okay to make weight comments to a woman? Especially an already hormonal, sensitive pregnant woman?

ZoeyMarie · October 2010

I didn't show much/get very big either until the last couple of weeks... I just normally said that baby has been measuring perfectly at every appointment, but thanks for the concern...

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