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My husband is not human

spursgirl10spursgirl10 member
in 3rd Trimester
So my husband applied for the same agency I work for this summer and if all goes well he should be going to the academy sometime in the next 4 months.  He will be gone for 5 months.  Sucks but whatever.  Anyhow, today I went home for lunch and I mentioned that I really hope they don't call until AFTER the baby is born because it would suck if he missed her birth.  He responds by saying "To be honest, I don't really care if I miss the birth, I mean I can't wait till she's here but the whole birthing, surgery, hospital experience I can do without"  Of course with that I started crying because my feelings were hurt.  Who says that?  Why would he not care if he missed his daughters birth?  That makes no sense to me.  My feelings are so hurt right now.  He then of course says I'm being dramatic and he isn't gonna miss her birth but still.  What kind of person says that? Ugh I am so mad at him. 
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Re: My husband is not human

  • hot_tamalehot_tamale member
    I would be really hurt if my husband said that. Ouch. Is this your first? He probably has no idea what he is saying and once your daughter is actually born, will feel like an ass for ever thinking it was no big deal to be present at the birth. Try not to kill him. You'll need him later. :) 
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  • chocopotamuschocopotamus member
    OUCH-I'd be hurt/upset too. Now days everything makes me cry, but that's mean Crying
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  • Arielle27Arielle27 member

    Wow, I am truly flabbergasted.

     

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  • Mt2G1012Mt2G1012
    That's pretty shitty and I would be hurt too.  I'm sorry.  Men just don't think sometimes and even beyond that, don't think like we do and so things come out wrong or not really how they mean it.  My DH has been fairly attentive to me this whole roller coaster of a pregnancy but is still really detached from the baby and doesn't care about feeling her move and things like that.  It kind of hurts, but I don't think men get it until the baby is here in their arms.
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  • tmac1022tmac1022

     Sometimes they say stuff that doesn't seem like it's a big deal and they think is coming out fine but they don't realize what they say. My DH hates hospitals and isn't looking forward to going in for the birth either simply bc he hates hospitals but it doesn't mean they're any less excited. I've even offered for him to not be in the room with me, I'm kind of freaked out of him seeing my vag like that but he just gets mad at me and tells me no way is he not going to be there. It's prob the same way with yours he just worded it weird. Sorry Tongue Tied just give him a swift kick to the arse!

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  • Mrslove78Mrslove78 member
    Your not the only one who's DH lacks human characteristics.  I am always amazed at things DH says.  I'm sorry your DH is being such a jackass...  he really SHOULD be excited to witness the birth of his child.
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  • hcmamm1hcmamm1
    Wow that was just mean. I dont think men think before they open their mouths.
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  • neferhathorneferhathor member
    Damnn. That was an ultra-insensitive thing to say. I think you have every right to be hurt and angry for that. Men really don't think before they speak sometimes. They should take a class for that. 
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  • nadinethequeen01nadinethequeen01
    maybe its a guy thing cus mine is acting like its no big deal too? he is visiting family about 8 hours away right now and is planning on driving back up here when i go into labor. actually, its not a guy thing.. mine is just an ass!!
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  • spursgirl10spursgirl10 member
    It's his first not mine.  You're right.  I will put the knife down.  :(
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  • chach916chach916

    I agree its a crappy thing to say, but I'd bet my left arm that my DH feels the same way.  I mean, its a wonderful experience and all, but I'm sure my DH wasnt looking forward to seeing me in huge amounts of pain, seeing the blood, the possible pooping on the table, the stitches, the possibility of complications, the list goes on and on.  The end result is wonderful, but the getting there is a little less desirable to watch right?

    However, if my DH told me all this, I'd be really hurt too.

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  • lizsiteslizsites


    Wowza. Whether he feels that way or not, totally not cool for him to actually say it out loud. My feelings would be really hurt, too. *hugs*

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  • locashlocash

    I actually think the more irritating part is the attitude of "all that stuff just isn't for me". Well, wouldn't it be nice if WE had the opportunity to say that and sit it out. They act like women enjoy the thought of a hospital stay, squeezing a baby out of our vaginas and then getting to recover from it.

    I hate when men say such selfish things. I think if we have to endure the entire pregnancy and the birth, then they should absolutely have to be present. If women don't have the choice, why should men?

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  • spursgirl10spursgirl10 member

    Thanks guys for your support.  I do appreciate hearing your views and knowing I am not the only one.  I talked to a co-worker who's wife is a month ahead of me and he said he's sorry my husband said that but he said A LOT of guys feel that way.  They just don't say it.  That's where my hubby screwed up, not for feeling that way but for actually saying it.  I am going to talk to my husband tonight and explain this to him so he thinks before he speaks next time. 

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  • neurdaneurda

    I agree that sometimes men just don?t realize what a big deal something is until it happens. But still missing the birt of your daughter is a big deal. Not to mention that you need his support. I would be upset as well.

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  • duncanpowersduncanpowers

    WOW. That is not ok to say, ever, even if "a lot of guys feel that way."

    Hell, I could do without that whole experience too, but it isn't an option for us to just say, "You know, I just feel like I could do without birthing and all that and just have the baby show up all nice and pretty a couple of months later." What perhaps they don't understand is, if you got the baby in there, it isn't an option for you either, pal. Unless you're in the military or saving someone's life, you WILL be experiencing what I go through and you WILL keep your mouth shut with the stupid sentiments like you'd rather just be at the bar, ho hum.

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