Postpartum Depression
what if I don't want to get better?
This is more a vent than a question, but honestly I don't know where else to go.I think I have some kind of PPD or maybe it is just depression that escalated after delivery.I have not been diagnosed (yet), although my midwife urged me to go and see somebody about this. I always had some anxiety problems, especially with my first pregnancy.
People around me tell me to get help, but I have been postponing calling the counselor because honestly I do NOT want to get better. I am angry with the entire world and I don't want to "fix" the problem just because it is convenient for everybody else.
I am depressed, and I want to cry all the time. So what?
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Re: what if I don't want to get better?
Prior to getting pregnant I was on Prozac for PMDD, but before I was on any medication I refused to seek help. Maybe I thought it would be considered a weakness to get help, I don't know. It took me about 2 years to finally suck it up and see a doctor and let me tell you.....it felt amazing. I had forgotten how happy life can be and even though I knew I was on medication, I didn't care. It felt good and I loved it. I LOVED it. I know you don't want to get help, I know how that feels, but I promise you the other side is much much better.
I hope you can find it within yourself to seek some help - maybe you don't need meds, but perhaps you can just go talk to a therapist.
Good luck.
I can understand your frustration. I used to get mad, and sometimes still do, when I think about how much it sucks that the rest of the world (it seems) feels fine and I don't. I used to want to feel "normal" and would get mad that I didn't.
I also used to be afraid that if I asked for help I would be perceived as weak or crazy, etc. But honestly, getting help can only make you feel better. And once you feel better, you'll wish you had gotten help sooner.
Hugs, mama! And good luck!