So... how long to ground her?

Re: So... how long to ground her?

• marie0131

  October 2008

  when i snuck out when i was 16 i was grounded a month. 

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• r9stedt

  October 2008

  I was grounded for a month when I stuck out at that age.  It so happened that prom was in that month.  Bastardparents.  HA!   I learned my lesson and didn't do it again.  (And joking about theparents fault.  I know can claim full responsibility.)

   

  Oh, and I guess I did it one more time, but, alas, was caught again.  

   

  Drivers Ed might do the trick, too. 

  

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• Brewster

  October 2008

  Yep, I'd postpone drivers ed and all other privileges until she can prove herself more "responsible", however long it takes.  Yes,  I am a mean old hard ass.
  

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• Lea LaJeunesse-Askren

  October 2008

  I'm another one who was grounded for a month when caught sneaking out. I also would postpone drivers ed. She just isn't responsible enough yet.

   I don't envy you my dear. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years with my girls. Especially how close in age they are!

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• kjlrs

  October 2008

  I second grounding her a month and postponing drivers ed.

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• ElizabethD

  October 2008

  See, you still gotta get to the root issue which is that she is completely lost and emotionally out of control.  I had a friend went down a *really dark path* and her mom would ground her and it doesn't remotely impact the reasons why she did it, nor does it prevent why she'd do it again.

  I believe she has lost all priveledges and she needs to build back trust.  This would mean no cell phones, no emails (those are what she uses to plot escapes), no lan line phone calls, and at home right after school.

  But you still wanna engage her and try to get her out of this.

  An extreme move would be to move like you wanted to when you guys relo'ed back to MN.  Uprooting her entire life so she HAS to start over can work.  That's what ultimately happened to my friend - after being in a halfway house treatment program, they strongly advised her mom to move so she didn't return to the same neighborhood, same classmates.  It really did help.

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• Brewster

  October 2008

  ElizabethD:

  See, you still gotta get to the root issue which is that she is completely lost and emotionally out of control.  I had a friend went down a *really dark path* and her mom would ground her and it doesn't remotely impact the reasons why she did it, nor does it prevent why she'd do it again.

  I believe she has lost all priveledges and she needs to build back trust.  This would mean no cell phones, no emails (those are what she uses to plot escapes), no lan line phone calls, and at home right after school.

  But you still wanna engage her and try to get her out of this.

  An extreme move would be to move like you wanted to when you guys relo'ed back to MN.  Uprooting her entire life so she HAS to start over can work.  That's what ultimately happened to my friend - after being in a halfway house treatment program, they strongly advised her mom to move so she didn't return to the same neighborhood, same classmates.  It really did help.

   

  Really?  I used to sneak out all of the time.   I was not lost, just wanted to see my friends.  I think I turned out pretty normal.  The girl needs a kick in the pants, not a half way house.
  

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• Mrs.LB705

  October 2008

  ElizabethD:

  See, you still gotta get to the root issue which is that she is completely lost and emotionally out of control.  I had a friend went down a *really dark path* and her mom would ground her and it doesn't remotely impact the reasons why she did it, nor does it prevent why she'd do it again.

  I believe she has lost all priveledges and she needs to build back trust.  This would mean no cell phones, no emails (those are what she uses to plot escapes), no lan line phone calls, and at home right after school.

  But you still wanna engage her and try to get her out of this.

  An extreme move would be to move like you wanted to when you guys relo'ed back to MN.  Uprooting her entire life so she HAS to start over can work.  That's what ultimately happened to my friend - after being in a halfway house treatment program, they strongly advised her mom to move so she didn't return to the same neighborhood, same classmates.  It really did help.

  WTF????  You are insane.

  I don't support the suggestion of moving cross country to punish the kid for sneaking out.

  I was an absolute ANGEL growing up (definitely not lost--screamingly or in any other way), and if I could've figured out a way to sneak out without getting my a$$ handed to me, I definitely would have!  That's what teenagers do . . .

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