Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Youch....that hurt.

Zoink2008Zoink2008
in Blended Families

I have this friend that I've been close with since high school. We have A LOT of history with and everything. It's been almost 15 yrs that we've been close - talk about every week to every other week. Visits, etc. He moved away at the end of high school but we kept in touch. TG for the internet! :-)

Right after I had DS, he stopped talking to me as much (almost six months ago). I haven't heard from him at all since July. DH and I were having problems as many of you know. I tried getting in touch with him b/c I needed someone to talk about it with that knows me well. He hasn't replied to anything...

So I decided to write him off. Then I started getting upset about it thinking about the history I have with him and we've always been there for each other. Just sad that he's not in my life anymore.

Some of our friends just went up there to visit this past weekend.

So I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel about him dropping off the face of the earth. I know how I feel but I just need help putting this into perspective. It doesn't look like he's coming back to earth at all so I just need to move on. I know his gf so it can't be her that is telling him not to talk to me anymore.

Report Reply to Post

Re: Youch....that hurt.

  • SUwifeSUwife

    It could be a lot of things.  He may be reaching a point with his gf that he feels weird being so "intimate" with another woman so has pulled away from you.  Or he feels weird seeing his friend with a baby.  Or he could just be really, really busy.  Or feels there isn't much in common to talk with you about anymore.

    I have a male friend in DC.  He was my best friend in college, and I kinda thought I would marry him except I discovered I felt nothing physically towards him.  We try to stay in touch, but then go months without an email because we get busy, or just have nothing to really discuss.  And I haven't been down to see him in 4 years. 

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • IlumineIlumine member

    Unfortunately, people change.  They change for a variety of reasons. 

    And here is another fact - YOU have changed too.  The you of today (mother with a baby and a marriage on the rocks) are not the same person as that teenager in highshool.

    Now I am NOT saying that this is your fault. But at the same time, you cannot put a relationship in a vacuum and expect it to remain the same forever.

    And I DO understand how you feel.  My oldest GF did the same thing to me.  We have been friends for 20+ years and she suddenly stopped taking my calls.  And I have no real idea why.  But I do know that it occurred after my marriage and while I was moving on with my life. 

    It hurts, but not enough to pick a part.  

     

     

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
    Report Reply
  • Zoink2008Zoink2008
    Thank you. This really does help. I don't know why I'm letting it get to me so much. I guess because I really did need him and people in my life now aren't people I can open up to about stuff....I don't know.

    Anyways, here's to letting it go!
    Report Reply
  • CampanitaCampanita
    Give him time to deal with his feelings.  He probably feels hurt in a way too.  If your love is strong enough it will stand there throughout time but, you must be patient and acknowledge that he may be going through some issues himself.  I have a friend in MT, or wherever he may be now.  When I got married (5mos. ago) he stopped communication with me for a couple months . . . and this is a pattern that we have both followed after, during and inbetween relationships.  But, I know in my heart that when I'm 82 and waiting to go on my cruise he will be there next to me and we will laugh at all that has happened. . . Friendship is a stronger type of love . . . . Just give him time and try not to judge him for not being there for you on command. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"