You wish you knew (non-clicky poll)

Duck_teach · October 2010

I was thinking about this before...what do you wish you had known before LO was born?

For me:

I wish I had known how hard it would be to connect with DH. Seeing him interact with DD is the highlight of my day, but I wish I had known how hard it would be for us to share responsibility and see each other eye to eye on some issues...and how hard it would be to talk like we used to.

I wish I had known that it would take a little time to feel bonded to DD.

I wish I had known that I would miss my couch! Now, when I get a chance to sit down, it's in the rocking chair to nurse DD or in our office to work on grad school work. I sat on the couch the other day, and it felt so comfortable!!!!

I think people tried to tell me some of these things, but I didn't believe the extent of it. I didn't mean for all of those to be so sentimental (except for the couch...lol). What about all of you ladies????

MrsSR · October 2010

I didn't realize the guilt I would feel over not being able to BF past 2 months.

I didn't know that sometimes it takes time to feel bonded to LO (this was the biggest issue for me).

I didn't know that I would feel so angry at DH for not helping more early on (he helps a ton now).

I didn't kow that gas could cause so much discomfort after having a c-section. I seriously couldn't eat for about a week after surgery without feeling sick after. I ended up not eating and just drinking...

JDO · October 2010

I knew this, I just didn't believe it...but I wish I would have known not to set my expectations for myself based on what other people's experiences have been. You do so much reading and preparing, hear so many stories from other people. You judge people because they don't do things the way you want to. Then you have a baby and you don't do things the way you planned either. Sometimes things don't work out the way you planned, sometimes things are more difficult than you anticipated. You make compromises, you make adjustments, and you feel guilty about it because it's not what you intended to do. But, if I would have just known not to set my expectations for myself based on what other's have experienced, I might not be so disappointed or so hard on myself right now.

Mrs_Marcos · October 2010

I feel the same way about DH. We're very alike... so much it's scary. But...parenting is not one of them.

I wish I relaxed more just having one kid. Having two is soooo.. much more stressful. In a good way though.

LadyDelilah · October 2010

I wish I would have known how much nursing HURTS to begin with

I wish I would have known how much DH wasnt going to be able to help ( example DD doesnt want him she just wants to be on me, touching me nursing and all he gets is frustrated)

I WAS GLAD, however that I didnt have a nurse or fail attitude with breastfeeding. I didnt have a feeling either way and I think it saved me. My milk didnt come in FOREVER (ok like a week and a half) and I was pumping and supplementing and now everything is fine

Hawt83 · October 2010

I wish I knew that I would totally fall in love with my baby and that in turn made me fall in love all over again with my other 3 kids too.

JayandJack · October 2010

I wish I'd have known that everything really will be OK. Everything seemed like the end of the world and I always felt like I couldn't cope and I was a terrible mother. My friends were wonderful and kept telling me that I'd get the hang of it and I'd understand him in time.

I wish I would have known a week earlier that DS had acid reflux.

I wish I would have known that it's OK that I didn't feel that instant love and bond with him. I was more concerned with the dog than my own child the first few weeks. That of course passed but I really worried how I was going to handle being a mother if I didn't love my son. I thought I'd made the biggest mistake and kept fantasizing about packing my car with as much stuff as I could fit in it and running away leaving DH with DS.

I wish I could pay back DH in some way for putting up with me for those first few weeks. He did everything for DS with out questioning anything. He basically taught me how to be a mother. He realized that I just wasn't completely there for them. I'm so glad he's so patient and I'll never forget that.

mdlw07 · October 2010

Hawt83:
I wish I knew that I would totally fall in love with my baby and that in turn made me fall in love all over again with my other 3 kids too.

THIS x 10!

historychick79 · October 2010

I wish I knew:

how much time I would spend doing nothing but holding DS. I feel like I never leave the couch since he hates slings/carriers. It's wonderful to have this time with him since my leave ends after this week, but some days I really don't get anything done.

how to ask for help. I'm still struggling with letting DH know what he can do for me when I'm getting burned out, or be more willing to call on the grandparents.

how to stop feeling guilty about leaving for work in a few days.

how to read my kid's mind sometimes (wouldn't we all)

delg23 · October 2010

I wish I knew that breast feeding would take up so much time the first month & that it would be hard to get my son to take a bottle. I wish I knew that he would wake up every hour at night!

Duck_teach · October 2010

JDO:
I knew this, I just didn't believe it...but I wish I would have known not to set my expectations for myself based on what other people's experiences have been. You do so much reading and preparing, hear so many stories from other people. You judge people because they don't do things the way you want to. Then you have a baby and you don't do things the way you planned either. Sometimes things don't work out the way you planned, sometimes things are more difficult than you anticipated. You make compromises, you make adjustments, and you feel guilty about it because it's not what you intended to do. But, if I would have just known not to set my expectations for myself based on what other's have experienced, I might not be so disappointed or so hard on myself right now.

I know what you mean!! I have a really hard time not comparing myself and DD to others. I probably put more pressure on myself about this than anyone else puts on me. I wish that I could just relax about it all...it will all be ok in the end!

Jess8589 · October 2010

I wish I knew to really take the advice of others. They do mean it when they say sleep when the baby sleeps, at least one nap a day. I wish I knew to enjoy the time I have with him now - one day he won't want to cuddle with me. I wish I knew to take it easier on myself - I wanted to do everything myself when he first came home from the hospital, I didn't want to ask for help - and I should have. What I wish I knew how to do now is how to make my husband spend more time with his son. It seems that ever since he went back to work that he is missing out on a lot of time with him and that scares me a lot.

CourtneyR2N · October 2010

I wish I knew how long breastfeeding took, how much it hurts in the beginning and how much I wouldn't like it.

brown_bride07 · October 2010

I wish I had known how much time I would spend in my own house. Sometimes the work to take DS out of the house.

McKenna04 · October 2010

I wish I would have known which type of bottles these guys would have liked, before they were born we went out and bought every single type of bottle known to man... & of course one like dr browns, one likes avent

EricaElizabeth · October 2010

I wish I knew about the Baby Blues, how hard it is and how sad you feel when you cannot breastfeed even though you want to, and how protective you become over LO and SO...I knew I'd be and that I'd love them more everyday, but I get crazy cave woman animal instincts when someone says something wrong or looks at them side ways! Again, probly just the hormones, but, who knows? LOL I'm so in love with my boys

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